This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Issi]

Yes it has been a little quiet on here.

All is good here.

Bye

[Lady_Stardust]

Hey, everyone 👋

I hope everything is going well and it's not too chilly where you are. It's windy here, but it's not really heaps cold. Kinda nice. I've been okay, just working and that sort of thing. I made a mistake about my medication I take for my secondary illness - OCD. Ran out for two days, they were not a nice two days.

I'm very tired, didn't sleep well, had (for lack of a better term) a pretty bad freakout last night, panicked and out of control, a lot of OCD elements. I need a nap after work today, I think.

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Lady ! was wondering where you might have been. I hope you are ok now.

v.

[white knight]

Yes its been quiet here.

As many know I endured a bad bad bipolar period early this week. Here is a summary

About 7 weeks ago began to feel low mood. Mid last week really low mood. Early this week a real crisis. Tuesday began feeling better. Wednesday felt fully recovered and has been that way since.

My research on bipolar moods found that it can last just hours, days or longer, different to depression that comes and goes more regularly. Both unpredictable and I didnt know when I'd recover and expected to recover when I didnt.

Quite confusing. My wife knew when I was revovering yelling out "you're back" yet I felt only a little better. I asked her how she knew.

"You told a joke you read from facebook"

Interesting.

So we have to keep learning about ourselves.

Tony WK

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Quiet can be good. Lady are you feeling better?

Tony, it is true we need to keep learning about ourselves that's why I keep reading and asking questions and observing.

It is true that sometimes our loved ones notice things that we don't.

My bipolar moods used to last for 6-8 weeks but now I have microwave moments, not a bipolar mood, but a short intense mood that is often caused when someone says something critical too me. It feels horrible but I know it wont last long.I had that mid week when you helped me.

I know what causes them and sometimes I can reason my way out but other times I can't.

You seem to be able to analyse your mods and behaviour well. I am not analytical but over the years I have gathered data that has helped me.Sometimes I misread the signs.

I sometimes lack insight into my behaviours and that is when a caring loved one can help.

Quirky

[Airies]

Hello folks,

I have mini bipolar moments now. I gradually ceased my PRN meds over the last month and was feeling up. Increased appetite, more awareness and out to f my shell a bit more. The last week despite excercise, struggled to get to sleep at night. The past 3 nights I recommended my Prns with a immediate affect of falling asleep easily, downside withdrew into my shell a bit more, can described it as disconnected but now realysing once against that I can't stuff around with my meds. Doing a PSTD group which was raising a lot of crap from my previous employment. Spring is just around the corner. Days are longer, flowers and birds are bursting at the seams. Looking forward to the season ahead. Baby steps again and one day at a time,

cheers LM

[Lady_Stardust]

velvet - It's nice to know that you were wondering, honestly! And yeah, I'm better now. Still a little anxious now and then, it comes in waves or perhaps something more like ripples, but yeah, I'm overall okay. I hope you're well!

quirky - yeah, overall. We'll see how the day goes, huh? It is only early. I mean, that could be positive or negative, who knows? Fingers crossed for the former. :3 Hope you're doing well! And I do understand about the people being critical thing. I get that, too.

Tony & LM - I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. Hope today is a much better day, and the weather is nice where you are. It's important to keep on track with your meds and only change thing around when a doctor is involved. To remain stable there has to be stability, which sounds redundant, but medication, I feel, is all about regularity and routine. It's important. Even if I don't want to get out of bed in the morning, I force myself just so I can take my meds.

Have a lovely day, all!

[Airies]

Hi Lady,

hope you are having a good one. Where is everybody?Lying low because of the wind. One of my pet hates. Feeling a bit funny, anxious maybe cos DBt has only a couple of weeks and trauma group stirring things up.Time to draw on toolbox of things learnt to get through,mindfullness, distress tolerance, radical acceptance, turning the mind and a whole lot of other stuff. Realise I've made progress and it's a fine line between pleasure and pain.Not excercising at present due to medical issue and eating a lot more then I have.

a dip which I'm not overly flash about. A bit of uncertainty in the weeks ahead. I need to ride it out.its a never ending saga, but they are the cards I've been dealt with, stay warm folks, come out of the woodwork when ready,

cheers Len

[velvetfaerie]

Hey Len.... Yeh it's been quiet here... think we all headed towards the circle.....

I've just been really busy and concentrating on me things. Getting my s.... together really by using mindfulness.

Hope your anxiety isn't too bad and that you can exercise again soon. I know how you enjoy it.

I need food......

v.

[Airies]

Hi Velvet,

attack of the munchies here too. Sultanas, pepitas, prunes and some bran..Keeping busy is good. Great to hear you are kicking some goals. I do Mindfullness, progressive muscle relaxation and boxed breathing. It all works don't know whether it's anxiousness I best describe it as uneasy and unsure.. It's just a stage... I'm sure once the warmer weather arrives and I regain my focus I will be ok. I've been a hell of a lot worse lol

cheers enjoy the munchies ($20 for 4 packs of timtams@ the airport what a rip off)

Len