This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[quirkywords]

Good morning everyone

Issi A Lotus tattoo sounds intriguing.

I may have asked this before but does anyone find their short term memory is getting worse especially as you get older? I find it so frustrating as I used to be able to remember things so well,

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

My memory goes to pot when I'm having a rough time.

Long term memory is sharp, (sadly as some things I wish I could forget !)...

Example - at work any verbal direction I get I need to write it down.... or in one ear out the other it goes!

[Issi]

Yes my short term memory is bad at times often when anxious, I can go into a room to get something and forget what I was meant to get.

Some of my long term memory has also gone but that's a side effect of ect, I'm thankful TMS doesn't have that side effect.

I'm starting a full time course next semester (at 49) and a little bit worried about my memory, hopefully when I start it will stimulate some of those old brain cells.

Try a have a good day👍

Issi

[The_Possum]

My memory is shot to pieces especially now during a BP depression.

I sometimes feel disabled.

No one gets it.

[velvetfaerie]

I get it possum.... I get it.

question to all - my apologies if I've asked before...

Ive dropped all processed foods/carbs from my diet. It's just mainly fruit, veg, meat and nuts. This last week, (after a few days wash out period), ive been much more stable.... is this a thing?

Thoughts? Experiences?

hope y'all are well!!

velvz.

x

[white knight]

Hi Possum, hope you feel better soon.

Try not to fight it.

My short term memory us near non existant.

Those shopper dockets, can never remember to take them from the car to the counter for discount fuel. Recently I did, I took it in, paid for the fuel then walked out still holding it but never gave it to the cashier.

My wife just laughs.

Tony WK

[quirkywords]

Velvet, Issi,Possum, Tony, and all those reading.

Thanks for the memories.

It is comforting to I am not alone.

Issi-good luck with the studies,

Velvet-glad the change of diet worked, I have tried natural vegan, put on weight and got moody- go figure!!

Quirky

[Airies]

Possum,

hope things improve soon. Long term memory shot. Big gaps. Side effect of ECT, meds and the ravages of time.

When stressed, memory goes.My memory short term is slowly improving.

Velvet I agree cutting out the bad stuff works a treat. I've peeled off 20 kgs since June last year and now not eating bread, pasta, red meat and rice has become the norm for me,

cheers LM

[The_Possum]

I try to eat healthy too but sometimes when I'm feeling really down I binge on unhealthy food.

For example today I ate nothing all day, just walked my dog half the day and then watched TV but ate nothing.

Now I'm starving and asked hubby to bring home fish and chips on the way home.

Saturated fat and carbs.. Not good but I won't put weight on as that is literally all I will eat today.. This is pretty routine for me when depressed.

I feel like I need to try and get out and meet people. All my friends work and aren't around so I feel a bit isolated. But I have no energy either so I'm stumped.

Any ideas of what I can do?

[velvetfaerie]

Mmmmm fish and chips *** slaps self ****

Well I have been pondering the same re friends Possum because all of mine are domesticated and I'm not.

Ponders *****

🤔