This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Issi]

In regards to eating I've starting making an effort to have breakfast. I must admit it starts my day off better. Now I'm into that habit I'm going to move onto lunch to get that right.

I find if I jump in and change everything at once I'm looking at a fail. So slow and gradual for me.

Having tms maintenance at the moment so having a few headaches, but a small price to pay for the benefit of it.

Night all

Issi

[The_Possum]

Hmm Velvz, it's a tough one hey. Making friends as an adult lol Was much easier as a kid!

I even looked at book clubs.. But when I checked it out they seemed to be all a lot older than me. Not that age bothers me, but just wondering how I'd fit in.. Lol 😂

Sigh

[quirkywords]

Possum

I know it is hard to meet new people as an adult but I am guessing you are quite young, as you mentioned older people in book club and I suppose you would consider me an older person now!!

It is funny with age, I knew i was getting older when I referred to the young people and knew I was no longer one of them!!

I suppose if you like books you could go along and see how it goes. If you read the books and comment I am sure you will fit in!!

I used to be in a book club many years ago but then I moved away.

Quirky

[The_Possum]

Hey Quirky

Sorry how old are you? Sorry I must have missed that!

I wouldn't say I'm young really.. I feel 18 when I'm hypomanic and 80 when depressed (like now).

But my real age us 35!

The book club I looked at locally are retired folk in their 60's. Like I said, age doesn't bother me, I'm more worried about them not liking me or fitting in etc

Maybe you're right I should just go and see, if we are reading the same books, the common interest is already there.

Thanks x

Hey Issi- I used to be a great breakfast eater, now I'm. Just not hungry at all.. I think it's medication related as it started sane time. What do you have for breakfast? Glad to hear the tms I'd helping! Makes the headaches worth it! Take care x

[quirkywords]

Possum

I am 60 next year but I don't know where the years have gone. I work 7 days a week in my book and gift shop.

35 is young as my children are about your age.

I remember at 18 when I thought 23 was so old!! Now 90 year olds think I am young!! all relative.

I did not mean to sound bossy!!

I am not sure if your children are school age or at pre school but if they do some activity can you meet parents though them. I know that just because you have children at same age does not mean you will get on with their parents.

Take care

Quirky

[Issi]

Possum

At the moment I'm having the Uncle Toby's quick oats, pour the sachet and milk into a bowl put into microwave 90secs add a little honey and it's done. Summer I have some crunchy cereal with milk and peaches or two fruits.

I have virtually no friends in my area, I have acquaintances through my sons sports but none that I would go to coffee with. My two closest friends live 100 kms away, so only see them once or twice a year. On the other hand my husband is a social butterfly, but really don't like being his plus one.

Issi

[velvetfaerie]

We are contemporaries possum... I'm 38.

Ive lots of friends but they are all parents / married / partnered / divorced / boring and never interested in doing anything other than domestic duties.

I'm a 38 year old teenager. Bored and restless and I hate the life rut that sneaks up.

I don't begrudge my friends their choices at all... it's just not stuff I'm into.

I need friends who are active in all ways, social, adventurous and artsy.... I gave a few but not many like that.

velvz

[Airies]

Hi quirky words,

similar vintage here.in group today lined up youngest to oldest. Looked to my left and no one beside me..@ 54 that's a first lol. I used to laugh collecting antiquarian books when younger or going through the old book shops.

Friends I can count on 1 hand and might see them once every couple of months. My world has become very small but that's my choice. In my case self preservation.

cheers LM

[The_Possum]

Hey Velvz looks like we are similar in a lot of ways. I constantly get told I look like a person in my early twenties and I'm immature. It doesn't bother me to get dirty with the kids make mud pies, fly down a flying fox, climb trees, have a random food fight and run around the house pretending I'm wonder woman trying to out race spiderman.

I also like comics, skateboarding, running, play guitar keyboard, and love photography.

My friends are mostly stuck up prats that need to wear the finest clothing, drive the best cars, have the biggest houses and high paid jobs. I used to fit into this group too as well as the group I've described above. Now I don't fit in with them at all as my life has changes direction & their inability to understand or support me makes me sick. I communicate with them less and less and realise I don't even want them part of my life.

School parents are ok, but it's more small talk at soccer and stuff like that. Not anything that I could see becoming anything more.

So yeah I'm in the market for new friends. Lol

Older people don't bother me. I played golf with my mother in law and a bunch of Retirees a few months ago. Lunch afterward at the clubhouse. Best lot of insightful people I've sat at a table with.

[white knight]

Possy,

Table tennis, Badminton, Volleyball, line dancing, sewing groups, if you having got a pet get a puppy and go to training. A pet (a cute one) will cause you to meet people.

Or you could wear a sign in a city "free hugs"....lol

Tony WK