This bipolar life

[Kazzl]

Are your moods are like an elevator with no control buttons? Mine are.

Ground floor ... I feel normal, content, just quietly getting on with ordinary, everyday life, loving my family and friends. This is as it should be. And maybe there's nothing wrong with me after all. Live.

Going up, top floor. Oh look! There's a shiny thing! I want to sing! Let's go buy stuff! Let's have a big party and invite the world! What could possibly go wrong! Woooooo hoooooooo! Play.

Going up (a different day) top floor. What do you mean you don't agree with me! I'm right! Why don't you think like me? Keep up! How can you be so illogical? I'll f-ing shred you if you don't do what I want! Rage.

Going down, lower ground floor. Flat, listless, can't be bothered. Can still function but it's a drag. Cope

Going down, basement. I'm never getting out of bed again. I'm useless, worthless. Total idiot, how could I ever imagine I could do anything, nothing ever goes right because I'm wrong. I'm a burden to everyone. Hide.

Welcome to my bipolar world. It's always been my world, but it's only recently I've seen it for what it is. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression during one of my 'basement' times. I had a lot of lower ground floor times too, on and off, and I kept out of the basement (so I thought) with alcohol. Until that took me into the blackest ever basement with only one obvious way out. Having survived doing something very dangerous I realised I had to stop drinking or I really would die.

I never took much notice of the playful times or the anger, that was just me, I was fun sometimes, and sometimes I was a devastating bitch. Ha! Deal with it people!

Well, yes, but in time the elevator started going up and down too quickly and, as I became more aware and more knowledgeable about mental health I realised this wasn't good. Doctor. Diagnosis. Bipolar 2. Lithium.

So, I've started this thread in the hope that other bipolar folks will join me, to share experiences and strategies. In my 'beginners' understanding, we are different from other fellow travellers of the back dog. While we experience depression as many others on this site do, the hypomanic or manic ups and, for some the rapid cycling that can happen, are experiences unto themselves.

I want to learn more, and I want to share with others. I hope my fellow elevators will join me here.
BTW, it's a ground floor day in my head today! Yay!

Love

Kaz

[Airies]

Hello regulars and welcome Fiasco,

Agree with Quirky, re accepting diagnosis,... I know without my current meds which took a lot of tweeking I'd be up Shi* Creek. My current meds work for me as well. Next week will begin a PTSD group so will need them more then ever. If there were natural remedies for treatment I'd use them, however at present any adjustments for me are usually for the better and any reductions result in a downhill spiral,

take care folks, be kind to yourselves,

hugs LM

[The_Possum]

How many people post using their phone?

I always use the phone and my phone auto correct so many things the wrong way. I never check before pressing send and then I look at it when it is posted and go 'oh wow!' lol

I hope everyone has a good Friday evening. I'm snuggled up with the kids sifting through Netflix for a movie night (late one for them!)

Take care x

[velvetfaerie]

I use my phone or computer at work.

Phone at home - which is dumb. I've a massive thumping computer and epic internet... but that's at the other end of the house and I mostly live in my bedroom.

Autocorrect - ahhh I've had many lols with that!! Hehe.

[quirkywords]

Possum

You mean you can post from a phone?? just kidding but mine is a not very smart phone, so can only text and phone and sometimes read month old emails!!!

I find a lap top too small for my chubby fingers.

Quirky

[Airies]

Possum,

it never occurred to me to post from a mobile. I use my iPad mini. Hope you enjoyed the movie with the kids. Thankgod for Netflix. I'm just back from a 4 hour walk. Poor dog got dragged along. I am absolutelly wrecked and the dogs running around doing cartwheels.Think he's relieved to be home. Hopefully sleep well.Been overdoing the excercise a bit as a coping mechanism. Have a great Saturday folks,

cheers LM

[Airies]

Hi there Kazz,

that must be a massive relief. Well done. Love the new profile pic. How you surviving the cold. In the minuses at night in your neck of the woods. Bit to brisk for this old fart,

good to hear from you ,

cheers LM xx

[Kazzl]

Hiya Len - good to hear from you too. Yes it's 'brisk' up here. Not exactly gardening weather. Getting a bit of frost damage on some of my young plants ...

Glad you like the new profile pic. Having planted, neglected and transplanted many roses in my time I reckon you can't kill them. So I'ved adopted the red rose (courage) as my symbol. Planning a new tattoo. 😀

Hope things are good in your lovely part of the world, and I hope the PTSD group goes well for you.

Oh! I know you do a lot of exercise - is that something you did before diagnosis, or is it something you've worked on as self-care? I'm getting quite unhappy about this medication-related weight gain thing and need to Do Something!

Cheers mate, good to talk to you

Kaz

xx

[Airies]

Hi there Kazz,

Roses are something I struggle with in growing. Though last year with a bit of pampering my roses bloomed and bloomed.That would make a stunning tattoo. I've always excercised, I'm finding 90 minutes most days a must do. By mid arvo regardless I start to feel tense, agitated and once I hit the pillow i struggle. I dread the day I can't do excercise. I overdid it yesterday. Cycled today, cold and windy, tomorrow's a rest day.Im literally starving myself to keep the weight off. Must admit have a bit of an unhealthy attitude to food, but anyway it's working. I can't wait for Winter to end, preparing beds for veggies. Gardening is so therapeutic . I'm out there most days for an hour or two. I get my green thumb and love for gardening from my mother. It was her great escape as well. I often imagine her looking down at me, taking pride in my garden,

take care, stay warm

cheers LM xox

[quirkywords]

Kazzl

Nice to see you.

What are you studying.?

Hope you get to relax before next semester.

Quirky

[Issi]

Hi Kaz

One of my tattoos is a pink Lotus 🌺 flower, as the Lotus grows in the mud and swamp lands. So I believe like the beautiful Lotus I to will grow from crap into something beautiful. It's always there to remind me to keep going my journey is leading me somewhere beautiful.

Issi