Surviving: Being in a better place

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

 

4,867 Replies 4,867

Ggrand
Community Champion

Hello Beautiful Deebi, Magic, Paws and everyone...🤗.

How are you going bbff...Really I am hoping that soon you’ll get on top of everything thing...Remember beautiful bbff..That you can only do the best you can do....and that is enough for everyone...I found that if I rang the people concerned about my growing debt.that they are extremely helpful in sorting a manageable amount fortnightly to catch up....they don’t really care if your behind.but do like to know about it so they can help you.....electric company, land rates for me was a big debt but spoke to them and have sorted it all through now...have nearly caught up...

Apart from all the hassles of money...which I hate (reasons)..are you feeling mentally and physically Okay precious Deebi?..

Proud Of you for your weight loss..I think I have lost around 5 kilos..unintentionally of course..at least that’s a positive from what ever caused so much sickness in me..which is I feel still leaving me...very slowly, then again I don’t care how slowly it leaves me as long as it continues to do so....it’s like an uninvited guest..that you can’t wait to pack up their bags and disappear into the sunset.😂😂..

Just wanted to call in to let you know I’ve been listening to you and the other beautiful people here....even though I haven’t replied to you....

I will talk on mine maybe today..as I’m feeling stronger and less tired each day....

Very much love to you beautiful bbff...💚🌹🦋🧸🤗....

Love, hugs and care everyone...

We got the power in our hearts and mind to live our best life every single day...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🌜🦄👼🌛

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

Hi there lovely people thanks so much for your concern and support. Listening to everything.

I'm ok thanks Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 just taking it as it comes. We've been ok so far and had assistance from Salvos and Vinnies but trying to have breaks between asking.

Got off the smokes again it's easier each time.

Mh been ok. Physical the hip is never far from pain geez be so happy when that gets sorted. I've been very careful but you forget and pay a mighty price trying to stand up again. Wicked pain!

Just slowly getting unpacked fully what a job but good each box or bags one less and closer to normal. We love this place and bonus being so close to other besty. Seeing quite a lot of Mr adorabubbles 😍 besty and his bro that he used to live with. We still have to get his stuff here that we're slowly doing too.

Overall been walking more at certain places. The back of the thighs slow me, think hip related but unsure.

🤕 haven't had as many but woke with a headache. They still take at least a day to rid.

So glad your lifes changed for the better Magic 🐒 and Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 that you're coming better. Pawsy 🐾 fantastic suggest about a room mate through Vinnies, our friend and Salvo worker also said same. We hope not to have to.

Thank you lovely ones and readers also for your time it's very much appreciated 🌞

Enjoy your days good peeps 👋👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🐾🐒

Ggrand
Community Champion

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone....🤗..

Its heart warming to know that you live where you’re living and that you are close to yours and Mr. Deebi besties...That’s a huge positive in the move dearest bbff....

Maybe the back of your thighs are hurting because of all the heavy lifting, bending and stretching you’ve been doing over the past few weeks...I know that when I’m on the ladder or walk up many steps, the back of my thighs and calves like playing ouchies with me....

Love that your walking..you have some new grounds to explore and who knows what discoveries you’ll find..😁..

Good girl you stopped smoking again...it’s really hard isn’t it?...Um..well I’m kinda still smoking 🙇‍♂️..but not that much now..☺️...they relax me sometimes when I need to just sit and be patient with me...

I made you a very warm hoodie blanky..took only 1.23sec...I learnt how to be lightening ️knitting 🧶...😂..It has a very pale mauve hoodie with some darker mauve rabbit ears that are long enough to use as a scarf to keep your neck warm...the blanky part is a pale green colour with little butterflies of different colours all over it.,,I am becoming a teacher of knittery 😂😂..I hope you like it and it keeps you warm....Mr. Deebi’s hoodie blanky is a royal blue colour with Oldsmobile’s cars all over it....

Stay warm beautiful bbff....the golden string between our souls has been made stronger by some fairy 🧚‍♀️ dust sprinkled over it.....Always in my 💭 with deep love and care 24/7..💚🌹🦄👼🧸🤗..

Love , care and hugs everyone..💜🦋🤗

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...l

Ggrand
Community Champion

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Just popping my head around the corner to see if you want to have a yummy hot chocolate and..oh why not and a chocolate mud cake with fresh strawberries and cream on top...😁.

How are you honey?....

I hope your headache has gone...and your feeling good both physically and mentally...

Keeping an eye 👁 or two 👀 on you bbff...gotta look out for you..also my 👂 are stuck to my iPad..silly me I accidentally superglued them to the screen 😂😂...

I hope your keeping as warm as you can and your having some good sleeps...

Always here for you honey...

Much love dear bbff with lots of care and hugs..💚🦋🌹🧸🤗🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

Haha hey gorji Grandy my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

You're always in my mind beautiful love thank you for your posts and love 🤗

I'm good thanks hun. Dear Mr beautiful had a fall today where he used to live we were packing some stuff. Hurt his neck and back. Keeping a close eye on him.

Love your knitting honey 😄 oh you're a classic and in 1.23 seconds that's pretty impressive I must say. Yes it's clear you've been practising. Nice going. So sweet of you and for Mr Deebi you're so cute. He's wearing his now. He said to say thank you Grandy they're very comfy and warm. Geez your gorgeous love you to bits.

Going to pop off to bed soon my dear lovely friend.

Thanks again dear friend.

Love you deeply darlin 💜👩‍❤️‍👩🤝👀🌞⚘☺😚

Ggrand
Community Champion

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

How you going honey?...Awe I hope Mr. Beautiful is okay after his fall..I’m certain that nurse 👩‍⚕️ Deebi..will give him the bestest of care ever...

Take it slow with unpacking things...Hopefully you’ll be living there for years to come, so next year or the year after is okay to be still unpacking...unless you need to use some things..

So heartwarming to hear your doing good..,So happy you both liked the hoodie blanky....I love hoodies on jumpers and cardigans because they feel like I have a scarf on...keeps me warmer....

Okay beautiful bbff..I won’t talk to much..but I am hoping so much that your both okay...

Remember to take the best care of you precious friend...I need you...you put light into my life...My biggest sisterly love and care..always here for you...💚🤗🧸🦋🌹🦄🚜👀..

Love and hugs everyone....💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

Hey my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all other good people 👋

Thank you for visiting dear friend so good to see you...it always is 🤗

I'm good thanks hun. Very happy with this beautiful honey and lovin this new place. I had some days feeling some anxiety at times and a little down on occasions but ok now thanks lovely one. That was after the worst of the last BP.

Oh meant to reply about the thighs. It was happening ages back the surgeon said it could be coming from my back. If I walk with sticks I'm ok, but have to stop at times without them. Bursitis stirred up but we've done some walking which has been good.

Yip just slowly unpacking hun. I slacked off for a bit but picked back up. We still have to get beautifuls gear we have some here but just bit by bit.

Grandy I think of you all the time dear friend. Love and truley need you too honey. You're a beautiful sss and friend who I deeply love and care so much for. God I wish Grandy we could be in rl 😢

I really hope you're ok Grandy you mean so much.

Please take good care sweetyheart you give me light too. We're in this together dear friend 🤝 and look how far we've come.

Always love and thoughts. There's something else I wanted to reply too but I'll remember later.

Watching big brother still love it. Do you watch it at all?

Mwah gorji 👩‍❤️‍👩💜😘🌞🤝👀💚

Hello Deebi,

It's so good to hear you are loving your new place... I think packing boxes breed when we're not looking... there always seems to be more...

Oh lass I hope Mr Deebi is ok after his fall... I'm sure nurse Deebi has made certain he doesn't try to over do things...

Well done on giving up the ciggies.... will keep fingers & paws crossed for you staying off them...

Huggily hugs

Paws

Hi there lovely Pawsy 🐾 and all other good people ☺

Thanks hun yeah its so nice this place. We're very happy in it. One of the blokes that was going to stay interstate who was thinking to live here might be after all. I feel he'll be a good fit. We'll see if he does. We know him enough to know he's a good man and should be honest and good.

Dear darling yes thanks he's slowly improving the gorgeous love. He was in quite a lot of pain. Still some but easing. Darling man.

Been walking a bit but feet stirred up. I'm keen to do more but easing off for recovery.

Having my 2nd needle for covid tomoz and beautifuls having his first tomoz.

Still very slowly unpacking. We'll grab some more tomorrow of Mr lovelies.

Beautiful sunny days here. I feel sorry for you dear people being so cold. It's not too bad here.

Thanks for your visit darl. Hope you're going ok lovey.

Cya later 😊🤗👋💗

Love to you both 🐾 👩‍❤️‍👩 🤝👀💗💜

Hello Deebi, wave to Mr Deebi,

How are you lass?... I'm hoping your bod is not causing you constant pain... are you able to sleep in bed or are you still having to sleep on the chair??... Do take it slowly with all the unpacking & with moving Mr Deeb's stuff over.... there is no rush...

Lass you have been very quiet lately... I'm hoping beastie isn't giving you a hard time... Lass you are strong enough to boosh beastie into mush... remember you are loved & you matter...

I hope Mr Deebi is now well on the mend... I know you wouldn't let him over do things...

Huggliest of Hugs

Paws