Surviving: Being in a better place

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

 

4,867 Replies 4,867

Morning DB

hoping todays a good one for you xoxox

Ggrand
Community Champion

Good Night Deebi..

Thank you, for everything....I hope you're doing okay..

love you dear friend..💜🤗🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼💜..

Ggrand
Community Champion

Hello Sweet Deebi..

I know you said your okay and just sitting back, but I still worry about you...a lot. Because you really mean the world to me..

I just though we should go on an adventure, somewhere that beasty can never hurt us..but I'm not sure where too..

What about a new planet..let's call it Gradeebi...We can take Destiny and Eternity there to play in the long grass with a big ball,of wool..They can unscramble the wool and run around all tangled up and falling and stumbling all over the place..in it if they want to...while we giggle at their antics and lay down on our sun lounges and feel the sun on our skin, like a sun bath, it feels so relaxing as it soaks in deeply as we look up at the stars still laying there, then.."starlight, star bright, first star I see tonight". Make a wish of peace for every living thing on our wonderful planet.

Or we can go wading bare feet in the lake that's just popped up...walking slowly in the cool fresh water, or kicking the water as we walk. We can find a fallen tree to sit on with our feet soaking in the water, and enjoy the tickling feeling of your tinsy winsy bubbles with glitter everywhere..lol the bubbles are getting so high now that Destiny and Eternity can't see us. Were hidden underneath...

Or..maybe, we can take our kittens for a walk on the green cool soft grass..feeling the grass go between our toes and tickle us...we can pick some of those gorgeous wild flowers and take some back for everyone on BB..because they all deserve something special..

How about we end our tiny journey at the beach laying on the sand, just where the waves break,on the beach, and with each wave that comes in the water makes us roll around uncontrollably and we giggle..the waves coming in to shore, soaking us and if we close our eyes lay on our backs it feels like we go sliding back into the ocean when the water recedes back...now that's really peaceful..Our kittens are running in and out of water, kicking up there back legs, falling all over the place, Awwe look honey they want to sleep now they had a big adventure..let's take them into the house boat that's over there and we can lay down on these hammocks and drift off to sleep with the warm sun soaking into our skin, the soft sound of the distant birds, whales, dolfins..etc and the gentle rocking of the hammocks as they move with the boat...

I'll never give up on you special sweet friend..love you very deeply 💜🤗🌹....Good Night and sweet dreams...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy.


Peppermintbach
Valued Contributor

Hi DB and all,

Just offering some super soul hugs, delicious chocolates, love and warmth.

I know you’re resting and recharging so there’s no need to respond to me. I’m just saying hello and leaving some presents here for you 🙂 Take your time with posts...no rush...

Love,

Pepstar xoxox

startingnew
Community Member

HI SL

thinking of you and sending love hugs and some choccies too- but dont eat them all in one go 😉

xoxo

Ggrand
Community Champion

Hello Deebi lovely lady..


You in my thoughts today a lot Sweetheart...🦄..


RUOK?..


If it's okay I'll just sit here with you tonight and keep an eye on you to make sure your okay..... Please be okay...Deebi....please! 👩‍❤️‍👩..🦄.. L👀king out for you, 👂for you and holding your hand..Love you....


🦄......🌜💜🌛.......👼


👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦄🕊🌹


Sending you Much love and hugs, 💜🤗.. Sleep well lovely friend, dreams of peace and t hope tomorrow you are better then today..🌈🌟..


👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼..

💼 🛴🚜🐍🔥🎩🍀👠🌟🌈🐳🐅🐆😚🛒🔑🛠🔫💣


demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

🤗 thanks beautiful loves yes I'm ok thank you dear Grandy 💑🕊💜

Loved our planet ☺😚 Grandy, you're magic.. and for saying you'll never give up on me. Wow you're such a good friend. Love you and what you say.

Peps SLD Mandy and beautiful Grandy thank you 🤗 I am ok and watching you all.

Love youse ☺😙

Ggrand
Community Champion

Good Morning Beautiful Deebi,

I just thought I would call in and wish you a beautiful day today..Why? you're asking me...Well I'll tell you...because you are a ray of light in my life, also you're loving, caring, comforting, calming, gentle, sweet, and beautiful soul totally deserves to be told regularly how special you are...

I hope your day is a good one Sweet friend..if you can. Please sit outside on your balcony/veranda and look, listen and feel around younand enjoy a really nice cuppa, and this yummy made with the purest of chocolate and the sweetest of strawberries, yummiest chocolate strawberry mousse..I made it this morning special for my dear friend...

Please sit outside when the weather feels right today and enjoy...how about inviting one of your lovelies over as well and enjoy together..I made you two....

Their is no need to reply...Ijust wanted to tell you.. That I care and love you deeply...

Deebi...💜🦄 ..you're never alone sweetheart, please talk if you need to always here for you sweet precious friend...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼 .....ooops... 💼...ahhhh🌹🌹🌹3 beautiful roses for your home today...

demonblaster
Blue Voices Member

Your heart is made of pure Gold.

Love you very much 💑🌜💜🌛🦄🌹💗🕊

🍃

Thank you

All of you 🤗

Just saying hello and offering some warm choccie milk to you as you rest and recuperate.

Super soul hugs and much love,

Pepper xoxo