Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Tess2]

Thank you so much Grandy, that means so much ..I have had a really last day, I am so tired. Getting old has it’s downside

take care dear grandy

love tess

[Ggrand]

Dear Tess..

True Tess..getting old does have its downside..especially the aching muscles, tired body..etc...I said similar to my Dr....She said as we grow older it shouldn’t give us aches n pains....Hmmmm...I suppose we sabotage our twilight years by working at heavy jobs while we are younger...

I hope you slept well last night and feel a little better today...

My fur babies got up to so much mischief last night..once I can find the right words to say about it...I’ll write about it on the pets gotta love them thread....it might give some other beautiful community members a smile or a giggle...

Just wanted to pop in and wish you a good sleep tonight...

Much love and hugs dear Tess..

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Thank you dear Grandy. What a lovely message. I felt really tired and down this morning but feel better this evening. I often feel better in the evenings. I think it is the relief of having got through a day without someone getting at me.

How pathetic is that?

i hope you are feeling a it better

peri

[Ggrand]

Hi Tess...

How are you feeling?

Like you I prefer the nights....The world’s asleep and no one will knock on my door....it’s more relaxing for me....

No Tess not pathetic at all...it’s called living your best life...and that’s all we can do....

I have a newish thread...”Small achievements you managed today”...it’s really very inspiring to read what other community members are achieving...no matter how small....Maybe you might like to join in and give some inspiration on what you achieved today......

I hope your doing okay lovely Tess....it’s really lovely that you came back to us here...

My love and caring hugs dear Tess..

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Hello Grandy and anyone else out there,

i haven’t posted here in ages,. I really get the winter miseries and have not wanted to inflict that on anyone really. grey weather really gets to me.

but it is starting to sun up over here in the west and the days are a bit better. But it is still getting cold at night.

i have done quite a lot of baking over winter, and intend to do some today too I am going to make a lemon drizzle cake. It is yummy.

i turned 70 this year, what a shock, it still stuns me that it is me that is this old. But every now and then I am reminded about it. Last week I had a bad fall onto a hip that has a replacement in it. It has been extremely painful, but is getting better. I didn’t fracture or anything, well I don’t think so, but the soft tissues are very sore indeed. Fortunately I am not frail 70, and not overweight so hopefully it will be ok. But it is lesson for me. I have a bit of a history of falls over the last five years or so.

i still struggle with the depression and especially the anxiety, but I am hoping to get on top of them as the spring and summer roll in.

the endless repetitiveness of daily life , well the weekly cycle sort of gets me down, when I worked there was always something new happening.

I am not sure why people rave so much about retirement unless they didn’t like their work, or have lots of money to indulge themselves with. However we have to make the most of what we have don’t we?

well, that is enough for now, I am going to try to get on with my afternoon and bake this cake

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Tess....hugs🤗..

I really hope that with the warmer weather it will help with your depression and anxiety...I much prefer the colder months of the year, more peaceful for me...With summer comes the gardening, lawn mowing, cleaning windows etc..and of course the extra pressure put on me to get outside and walk....

My best friend here in town..turned 80 in August..she has more energy then me...and is constantly doing things outside until early afternoon....I think in the 7 years I’ve known her, she has painted the inside of her home 3 times...and the outside once....She just can’t sit still...and she says..it’s what keeps her going....age is just a number...it’s how we feel within ourselves that count..

I worked all my life until around 6 years ago...and I can relate to the drudgery of every day being the same...There’s only so much cleaning we can do...then what?...sit around and wait until it’s dark to sleep...then do it all over again...I try hard to do things I used to do....but nothing I do holds any interest to me anymore...Oh I do force myself to do what I started...but that doesn’t last long, until I put it away again....

I am not at all able to cook a cake from beginning..I do maybe one or twice a year bake a packet cake...then it usually turns out dry with a burnt bottom...or half on it stays stuck to the cake tin 😂😂..When that happens I have the crumbling pieces with ice cream....

I am sorry lovely Tess, that you have had a few falls recently...so pleased you didn’t break or fracture anything,,,Do you have one of those gadgets that when you fall...it alerts someone....Does your son still live with you?..

I hope today is a nice day for you..and you enjoy your lemon drizzle cake...I haven’t tried that one...it sounds really yummy...I wish you could hand me a piece through the screen....,maybe in years to come, with the way technology is going...we will be able to do that 😂..how awesome would that be...

My love, hugs and care beautiful friend..

Grandy..

[Guest_1584]

Hi Tess .

Just passing through but l was surprised to hear you'd rather be working at this age. lt's just something that's been on my mind a lot this last yr or two and that l've been talking with a lot of people around here about .

l'm 50s but with depression and the lack of mojo for anything much as well as often feeling l just don't cope very well this last yr few yrs. So l've been trying to figure out if l could and if l could , should l stop working , and which people have found better. But many here feel the same as you and to my surprise are glad they are still working and pushing through it. Others have stopped and managed to get Centerlink which l couldn't deal with myself anyway, but like you they're missing it a lot and wishing they could still work.

lt's really surprised me , l always thought most people dream of retiring as early as possible l know l have myself too but these days it's more a need too, at least that's what l've felt lately. Still , maybe l'm better of continuing on- which l might not have a choice about money wise anyway bit early to say but never the less.

Hi Grandy , just reading your reply too , so which would you prefer , to be be working then or not ?

Best to all and l hope your feeling better Tess.

rx

[Ggrand]

Hello Lovely Tess,

Just popping in to wish you a very Merry Christmas...and so much hoping that you have some light shining into your beautiful soul today...

All the best and peaceful wishes I am wishing for you..

Lots of Christmas 🎄 Hugs🤗...dear friend..

💚❤️🎄💚❤️🎄🤗🤗💚❤️🎄💚❤️🎄🤗🤗.

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Tess,

I am a bit concerned about you sweet lady and wanted to ask you if you felt like talking, to very gently remind you that I’m here for you...

I do get what you’re saying about what’s “the point” in cleaning up, getting up out of bed etc...I don’t do much of anything on the days I don’t work...I have big plans in my mind to do this and that, to clean my house, yard etc...those plans stays inside my mind mostly while I lay around playing internet games or come into here to chat with my dear friends or the amazing members of our forums...

I’m not sure if you’re open to maybe considering some volunteer work somewhere....it does give me a bit of variety in my week and does help me with getting outside my home....Without me doing those 2 days...I think my mental health would plummet to deep for me to cope alone....

How are you feeling...not just words dear Tess..I really want to know...if you want to share your thoughts....I cannot physically reach you...and the only way we know how you’re doing is through your words on these forums....

Sitting with you dear Tess....with my care, live and a hug if your wanting/needing one..

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

thank you for being so kind. Your words and caring mean a great deal to me

your suggestion about volunteering does not fall on deaf ears. I have thought about this, but I don’t think I am ready at the moment.

I don’t know why I have especially been struggling at the moment. Well I think though it may be to do with my brother being ill, he is going through the process of being diagnosed with a cancer. It is a serious one and soon will have a final diagnosis and start treatment. He is my rock in life and I cannot imagine my life without him in it. His partner is lovely, but I think she is quite jealous actually of anyone else who is in his life. So it is tricky at the moment.

i am also not mad about winter. Cold, wet and grey does not suit me. I need blue skies.

i don’t mind being older as such but I mind very much the changes it brings to life.

Thank you again, I’ll come back when I have a bit more energy

tess