Struggling to go on

[Tess2]

Life is being really hard for me and troubles keep compounding. I cannot face wading through what is needed to move forward I feel isolated and alone. I have people who care but I think they can be overloaded with my despair and it can be a burden. There seem to be obstacles all along the way.

Two years ago I lost my job. A career of 50 years. I am 66 and have no partner. I have not coped well with this loss and now have significant financial problems too. I have to sell my home. Pay off my mortgage and buy a new place. I live with my son who is very caring but I have suppported him financially and emotionally through the family court. His ex is trying to remove him from his daughters life. I feel I have reached my retirement years with very little and no joy. Depression has been a big part of my life. But I have managed. Now I also have severe anxiety. It paralyses me. And panic attacks. I don’t know how to do each day.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Tess2, we are so sorry to hear about your anxiety, the loss of your stepfather, and your concerns about your son's legal issues. We imagine that being unable to attend your stepfather's funeral in person would have been really difficult. Hopefully posting on here and receiving support from the community will help you feel a little bit better about things, or at least less alone. Given what you're going through, we thought it might be appropriate to link you in with the following services:

Regarding your loss - We'd recommend getting in touch with Griefline - 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief.
Regarding your feelings of anxiety - If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. We also have a list of anxiety management strategies (https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/treatments-for-anxiety/anxiety-management-strategies) which may be of interest or useful to you.  We really hope that things improve for you soon, that some of the resources we've linked you are helpful, and that you find some comfort here on the forums. If and when you feel up to it, feel free to keep us updated on how you are. 

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess...

Im sorry about your step father...Sending you my deepest condolences...and kind thoughts for you and your family...

I think Tess, that if even you do go out, then able to wash your hands and change your clothes, and wipe down your groceries etc..That’s really good..and protecting you...

The covid hasn’t really reached out my way as yet...Although we did have 4 in hospital that was on the ship...I’m okay with isolation and it made it easier for me to shop early morning, sometimes I was the only one in the shop..but not now it’s back to being busy...

COVID..I think has heightened everyone’s anxiety, especially with all the new rules that’s been put into place...Im pleased that your doing all you can to protect yourself and your family...Once it’s been put under control and life goes back to normal...which I think it will..We can all be proud of ourselves for doing our best to control it...

Tess...sweety...Sophie has given you some really helpful links..The anxiety strategy one has some good ideas on how to try managing anxiety...If you feel up it..maybe you could give it a read....it might be helpful for you...My candles are my main go to...or sitting outside when it’s not to cold..I read on mine you knitted a beanie..well done...I like knitting as well..my tension is all over the place with both knitting and crocheting...It takes a lot of motivation for me to do it...As you probably know anxiety takes away our concentration at times...so keeping focused on what your doing is good and hopefully gives your mind a rest from the constant thoughts...of anxiety..

How is things going with your son..I hope he is being kind to you and helping you with your mh..

I need to wash my dogs again...too cold atm...probably give them a dry shampoo until the weather warms up...

Keep talking here Tess..whenever you feel like talking..or letting thoughts out of your mind..here for you when I can be...

Sending you my love, care, and hugs dear Tess...💜🦋🤗..

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Tess...

It was so good to see you at mine..

Tess...hun I’m always here for you either your thread here or mine...

If you need to talk to someone, I’ll do my best to support you, the best I can...

How are you feeling today...Not just words lovely lady..asking you from my heart..

Hows you little fur buddies been going...last time we spoke you had just bathed them....

Looking forward to hearing from you...no pressure, only when you feel up to it....

My care, love and hugs..Dear Tess..

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

thank you for writing on my post, I am sorry I have not replied sooner. I have been very up and down and highly anxious. I feel intensely sad and like I am missing life’s joy. And I can’t find it

i follow your posts and what you have been going through. I really admire your integrity and how you keep going, no matter how you feel.

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Tess...

That is okay about replying..I often think about you and wonder how your feeling..I was so happy to hear from you but saddened that your missing out on the joy of life..

I wish I could help you find some joy, happiness in your life to help you...I still struggle with feelings of happiness..but I’m determined to find some somehow...

Thank you for following my posts..it means a lot to me..

Tess..honey when your feeling sad please write here and chat to us...We are friends and I miss you when you’re not here...Talking helps even if it is type talking..makes us feel not so alone...

always here for you dear Tess...

My love and hugs dear friend..

Grandy.l

[Tess2]

Thank you so much , your words bring me a lot of comfort

tess xx

[Ggrand]

Heel Dear Tess...

I was wondering how your little fur babies are going..

Mine are already feeling the heat and are laying on their tummies with their tiny paws stretched out...I took my rug up last week..and their are enjoying the coolness of the venal tiles...

How are you feeling today lovely Tess?....always here when I can be for you dear friend...

Much care, love and hugs..

Grandy..

[Tess2]

Hi Grandy, birds and any others.

It is nearly the end of the year, another one gone by and life goes on.i feel quite sad, as I have done nothing to lift my life and make things better. But now with a new year I do have another chance to try. To try to lift life for my son who lives with me. To be a better grandmother. To commit to other people and think less about myself. Which is essentially what I do, I don’t feel well” poor me” I haven’t got enough money I’m tired I want to die, “. And on it goes. I am so sick of myself.i do try to make things better. But I seem to keep missinf

[Tess2]

Well hello Grandy and any others out there who may read this.

i seem to have lost a lot of support here, but I will keep trying. Maybe it is because I am so down and gloomy at times, but I am not always like that .

life is trotting along, I have up days and down days. My anxiety is high and u think worse than the depression. I try to keep occupied and look after my animals . It is warm here in the west so I am having a quiet day. Making dog food and cleaning up after having my granddaughter for a few days.

i want to be able to help people here and be encouraging. So I have to be ,ore active here

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Lovely Tess...

Tess...dear friend..you haven’t lost me as one of your supporters..I’m sorry I didn’t see the post from December...

I know how much you love having your granddaughter stay with you...aren’t they a beautiful distraction away from our unhealthy thoughts....I wish so much that I could see my grandchildren..it hurts that I don’t...I am just not up to driving my car so far to see them....and my sons are too busy with their jobs and trying to make a comfortable living for their spouses and children....I once read many years ago...that our children are only on loan to us...until they have the knowledge to be on their own....or find a partner/spouse and start living their own lives...

Making dog food...now that sounds interesting....

You have a beautiful inspiring way with your words Tess...You have helped and inspired me on many occasions when I could care less about life.....well done on your want of helping and wanting to inspire other here....

How are you feeling dear Tess...yep, up and downs are constantly around us....and we will continue to fight our own battles in our head...hoping that one day..we reach the top of the mountain and stay their....instead of slipping down all the time...

We can do this...because we are...”stronger then we think”..

Much love and care dear Tess..

Grandy..