relationship breakup

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , i was in a relationship the first after a divorce of a 20 year marriage , i didn't think i would find love again , i meet this lady through some good friends and we started slow seeing each other on weekends , we lived 2 hrs apart .. we found comfort in each other and the time we spent together was the best time i have ever spent with a women , i could watch the grass grow for ever in her company . as time went on the baggage in both our lives came out and instead of dealing with it we just broke up .. she was scared and so was i .. the going our own ways happened so suddenly and i couldn't believe it happened ...approx 10months ago ... we had little contact and got on with our lives ..i whole time feeling very sad i felt a massive loss .. honestly thought we wold spend our lives together .. i speak of the good times now but there were times that her baggage came out and with out an open communication at these times it would be impossible to have a lasting relationship ...no such communication was possible ... and i know us being apart is better ..but i am still so in love with her ...i messaged her a few days ago and showed her pictures of my apartment which i have renovated ..the finished product ..she didn't reply ..i messaged my feelings and she replied with i think you should move on like i have ..i asked her if she was seeing anyone and she said yes ...i had to get myself home and i vomited many times and just put myself to bed ..i am reliving the weekends i said with her and seeing another guy in her life exactly like i was ...i try to reflect to the times that help me understand that it wouldn't have worked between us but my heart is so full of love for her .. its painful and i can't stop crying

[geoff]

hi Simon, I'm sorry to hear this because it's always disappointing finding another love after 20 years of being married, but I'd like to ask you, how many female movie celebrities do you or any of us chaps fall in love with, well for me it's a countless number, and as much as want to be with them it's impossible, and by the two of you breaking up doesn't mean that your love for her goes away, it doesn't.
I was married for 25 years and even though we're been divorced for years I still love her, but she only cares for me, but we couldn't live together again.
The baggage that people carry with them is not found out until you either live together or have known them for a long time, and if you can't accept their troubles isn't any fault of yours, but the r/ship wouldn't last.
You will find another person where the two of have ticked all the boxes and then develop a r/ship, it will happen because that's what you are aiming for. Geoff.

[awrinkle_in_time]

Thanks Geoff , its not a loss it just didn't work out ..seeing it that way is easier ..Kind regards Simon

[monkey_magic]

Dear simonc01,

Sorry to hear of your relationship not working out because of past baggage. My first thought is ,is there anywhere you can both dump this baggage? Lifeline, the beyond blue line, councillor, writing it down?

Now that there's a wedge between the two of you ( her new partner) perhaps its a good time to prepare for new love, or perhaps once " baggage"is out of the way you could have a friendly visit in the future? Hopefully she's dumping it on this new person lol. If there's issues because of baggage that's when it gets tough....she possibly wasn't the one, she could have crossed your path to prepare you for what's to come...now that's exciting.

It sounds like you are taking it hard. I hope you open yourself to the possibility of new love... It might just find you 🙂

[monkey_magic]

I can relate to the vomiting, the crying, the pain...perfectly normal in my opinion after lost love. It does get easier. I understand you prob want her back, its again perfectly normal in grief. I sincerely hope this passes for you. Holding onto the love is fine. I do it...makes me feel good. I'll send you some cyber flowers for your pain...( here you go) & tissues for those tears...

[monkey_magic]

Oops I wrote lost as well, sorry bout that

[awrinkle_in_time]

Hi , yes it might have been a lesson relationship , and i will hang onto the good memories and always love her, Thankyou for your nice words

[awrinkle_in_time]

OOOHHH thats nice thank you ..i feel better this morning ..last night was not good .. i feel it passing

[monkey_magic]

I really like what you wrote because I'm doing the same thing even though its over for me as well. I'm happy you are feeling better 🙂

[awrinkle_in_time]

hi , i feel sad again i have cried all morning i feel terrible i feel like so many plans made are now all meaningless ..i worked for the morning and have come home .. I'm so tired , it might be better to just sleep ..