"Over Thinking" or "Paranoid Thoughts"?

[Moonstruck]

I have a tendency to "over think" things (I hope you know what I mean by that) which can spiral into obsessive thoughts and imagining worst outcomes etc.

Just lately I have noticed myself perhaps going a step further when thinking over someone else's actions and/or words - assuming it is a direct personal assault on "me" . I dwell over and over on what they said, the tone of voice used, creating a scenario as to why they did or said a certain thing, what they could be "leading up to" or "covering up" something I need to know. I get more and more anxious as I "imagine" what will be next to happen - (it is always negative and scary). sometimes I imagine the conversations they "could" be having about me behind my back.

sometimes I feel like contacting him/her to have them explain if anything is wrong, and if I misconstrued anything -to reassure me all is OK. But I am too scared to do so, in case it makes things worse, in case they are embarrassed and try to avoid me in the future. . Hardly anyone knows I have such an anxiety problem at all - so I don't want to come across as a "mental case".....(LOL)

Is this sounding a bit paranoid to you? How can I stop imagining the worst possible scenario of events that "might" happen...it's seems so real to me even though I am making it up in my head.

[1113]

Peaceful hello Wayne,

Hope your day is going well.

Boring, tedious, dull, monotonous........

Thats my life in 4 words. Lol

Did you have a think about the teaching?

Peace

Matt.

[Moonstruck]

Just in case anyone is interested in my original massive tsunami of paranoid obsessive thoughts about the welfare of my long time much loved pet who was re-housed some years ago.

the lady who has him was very ill and didn't want me to visit for a long while...it has been "over the top" HEATWAVE conditions here...pets are suffering as well as humans...and I had been obsessively ANXIOUS about the pet, who is like a member of our family, my son's childhood "best friend" who helped him cope with the loss of his father all those years ago etc etc......I promised him I would always make sure he was cared for.....I have been terrified to ring the lady again, as she seemed quite impatient with me last time.

I decided last night I had put myself through enough suffering, possibly unnecessary and I just HAD to do something to "take care of myself".....I found the courage to ring the lady just now....and she was quite pleasant, said the pet was OK and the relief within me cannot be put into words.

Relief that the pet is still alive and coping in the heat...relief that the lady is still friendly towards me, and relief that I can tell my son truthfully that I have checked up on his pet, relief that I was BRAVE enough to face that terrible fear that was ruining every good happy moment for me........why do we do these things to ourselves?

[1113]

Peace moonstruck,

So happy to hear your achievement.

The only answer I can give is "we are human".

But you achieved courage to overcome fear.

Peace

Matt

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

15th January to 27th January - a very long time to endure.

You managed to conquer your fear and ring, you have a victory! You have done something brave and beaten the demons that bind. I'm so pleased for you, you must be very pleased for yourself too - if not you should be!

Something you can remember to give a little push of courage in the future. People who do not suffer the same self-doubt will probably not recognize how big a thing it was to ring. An awful lot of us here do though.

I'm also very pleased that the pet is ok and the lady was good to talk to as well.

You asked the other day if everybody feels this way, many just putting on a front. You also asked if some don't have these qualms in the first place.

I guess there are all types in the world. It must be a spectrum ranging all the way from those who are very sensitive indeed though to those who are completely insensitive.

Being sensitive has drawbacks which we know only too well. It does however enable one to see things the insensitive are completely oblivious to. As I've gotten older I have remained as sensitive but been able to handle its drawbacks better. One of my coping strategies is to eliminate worries where I can promptly - possibly not the right thing to do with the lady and the pet under the circumstances, as you yourself felt.

Enjoy the feeling of mastering yourself and the happy outcome.

Croix (who is still admiring your excellent touch-typing skills:)

[1113]

Hi wayne,

I do hope your still around. I was very interested in your sight.

If you see this.................post.....its all g

Peace

Matt

[Moonstruck]

Thank you Croix....your words always mean a lot to me and it's so good to know someone understands...you seem to, anyway. Touch typing isn't everything but very pretty to look at...fingers flying as if over a piano keyboard (I was pretty good at that also). ...LOL.

As far as my interpersonal life goes though...I've been pretty much a disaster.

I have long said "Nothing anyone ever does would surprise me any more".....I can see myself turning into a cynical old broad - the more insensitive you are, the happier you are in this world...it seems that way to me anyhow, sometimes.

When I was younger I was so idealistic, I thought others had the same sense of duty and loyalty and caring that I did. I trusted people so much - I only seemed to see the good in them - what a foolish child /young woman I must have seemed.

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

You sound rather melancholy. After the dog episode perhaps you look back and see times when you didn't triumph over anxiety, or feel you have been weak. It is still very much a victory, something to build on, a growing strength. I thought you brave - and still do.

If I seem to understand it's probably because I do - how else could I talk meaningfully with you? Talking to someone with whom I relate is a pleasure.

Why 'was good' at the piano, have you lost the enjoyment of playing? I can think of at least one other in the Forum who gets great satisfaction from her keyboard.

You did say Nothing anyone ever does would surprise me any more, well true, but that does not always mean bad. I've often been surprised by the generosity or putting self last in people for whom it is a struggle. A couple of times a year I go up the street collecting for charities, many older persons struggling on pensions walk back from their front door into the house and return with an offering they would be pressed to replace.

I guess many start life idealistic - you should have seen me as a young constable, now there was foolish! Over time idealism does wear down, but not away entirely - well at least not for me, I still trust a few. Sorting out who to trust, and how much, is a lifetime task I guess, I've still got 'L' plates at my age.

Now you've gone and gotten me all philosophical 🙂

Take care Moon

Croix (who tt's with just 2 fingers, sometimes even 3)

[Moonstruck]

Hi Croix, Two fingers, sometimes three?? Ooh that would be painful to watch...no wonder you have so many typos...ha ha only kidding!

the piano? Well, when I was very little, my mother had this thing about all her daughters learning the piano - I was very good at it, mainly modern songs, no classical exams or anything - but it was BORING to me....stuck in a lounge room playing mainly for my mother (whom I didn't like at all) in the next room.

So she could show me off to her friends..."Play something Moonstruck". My creative urges lead me in another direction, which I LOVED, so the old piano was forgotten and I haven't played for decades. If I had refresher lessons it may come back to me, who knows? Who cares? Not me.

As for the other direction my interest in "the arts" took me...I am still doing it!

** I got off the track there Croix - does anyone have any helpful advice on how those of us suffering with Anxiety make DECISIONS?? e.g. I am presented with an offer. do I say Yes or No? There is no middle ground. Both options have their desirable aspects. I haven't a clue how people like me are supposed to choose!!

There are good and bad points for both the answer Yes, and the answer No. Do I toss a coin? When I think about the ramifications of saying Yes I get anxious. When I think about the ramifications of saying No, I get anxious. Any other anxiety, obsessive, paranoid thinkers out there have any ideas on what works for them?(there is no sort of "deadline" for me to decide, but I'll have to one day in near future)

[Croix]

Dear Moon~

Not painful ,I guess they must have calluses on the tips:)

Do you mind my asking what aspect of Art you are still doing? (notice the capital A - Art is one of my three things for getting up in the morning.)

As for decisions -um. I guess in my own case sometimes I ask myself what it would be like looking back in a year, what would I feel? That does two things, reminds me in a year's time the worry about making the decision will be long gone (hopefully anyway) and also may give me a little perspective.

That's just me (sometimes) YMMV

Croix

[Moonstruck]

Hmmm Croix....well, let me see. I've never actually Said on here which part of "Art"..it's not art as in painting.

I'm trying to be as unrecognisable as I can...in case anyone from my area reads my jottings too deeply and figures out who I am! (see?...paranoid). Um, would you believe lawn bowls? No, didn't think so.

A couple of smarties on here (including my dear pal Lost Girl...and perhaps Taurus) seem to have guessed....but I admit nothing!! Let's stick with lawn bowls shall we?

I am a bit perplexed about your signing off..YMMV.?...(I am a dumb blonde you see). After I've posted this, I'll probably have figured it out!!