Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

Was recommended to start my own thread so here it is. The gist of it is I am unhappy, unmotivated and don't enjoy or look forward to anything. Am always tired and hate my life!

[Ggrand]

Hi Purple,

MI. Mental Illness,

Yes I live alone now for 4 years. I managed the first 2 years not to badly, I leased the take way shop here in town which also had the post office, groceries and burgers etc. I was stupid, looked at the wrong bookwork. From the first week I was loosing, after 12 months I put it up for a new lease, didn't get any interest, sold my home in the next town, bought a cheaper one here, shut the shop and copped a whole lot of abuse from the towns people here for closing it..lol they never used it anyway, so what was there problem...That I accepted as my mistake, but the constant stream of people coming to my home and going off at me, fuelled my already dark mind to the point that I decided I wanted out.

The best way for you is when the sadness hits you, the sad thoughts, well try and do something, even if you don't want to, by doing something it takes your sad thoughts away as your concentrating on doing something. Could be here on BB, games, jig saws, word games on iPad.

Anything is worth a try to better the way we feel.

Karen

[Purple_lady1]

You are very interesting. It would be so nice to call you my friend. It is good to chat with you. How do you gain money to survive? This is a huge problem for me

[Ggrand]

Hi Purple,

Im on New Start Payments, So not enough to live on. By the time Rates,bills,insurance,rego, etc are taken out, not much left for food, but I'm a survivor, Food doesn't interest me, as long as I eat something, im ok.

I have to put a day a week for volunteer work, luckily out here Vinnies is accepted as that day. If I didn't get the day at Vinnies it would have been the arboretum. Lol couldn't imagine me pulling weeds, planting trees etc. Ok to get down, but no way would I get back up,

Hard to survive on Centrelink payments, but I'm not complaining I'm grateful for the payment they give me every fortnight.

What about you, do you work?

Karen

[Purple_lady1]

6 hours a week but I need more to survive. Am looking for work but it's hard and I hate starting new jobs. Why do you not socialize more or do you not want to?

[Ggrand]

I am uncomfortable around people, I have developed a fear of people. A fear of leaving my home, I'm working on it but not succeeding as yet..I am supposed to do a day ( Tuesdays) at Vinnies, I haven't been there in over 5 weeks now. I will be in trouble but atm I really don't care..When I go to Vinnies everything I need to do I will do on that day..then when I get home I can breathe better again, then I'm inside for the next 6 days. I know it's not good but I cannot beat the power of the fear I have.

Do you go out with your bf, to restaurants, movies, etc. or does he come over to your place and you just stay in.

karen

[Purple_lady1]

What is a bf? If it is a boyfriend what makes you think I have one because I don't. Life might be nicer if I did. Who was it that abused you?

[Ggrand]

Purple, sorry I got it wrong, my mind not the best,

My parents, eldest brother, then my hubby. But not wanting to go there atm, not feeling strong enough to talk about all that again.

Karen

[Purple_lady1]

No worries, what are you doing today? Are you feeling sad? lonely? anxious? depressed? bored?

[Ggrand]

Crying a lot, but a little scared, I didn't turn up for my GP appointment again, She said next time which is this time, if I didn't up, she will send ambos out to put me in hospital for a week, hoping now she was bluffing me, I tried to go to appointment but trying to get out anytime is hard, but definitely not going out with tears.

I done some washing. Yay.. now just laying on the lounge talking to you and others here..will probably have a nap later today ..if I'm still here and not in hospital..

Karen

[Purple_lady1]

At least you're talking to people. Why oh why do we get like this? I just want to be happy and have a purpose in this god damn life