Purple

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

Was recommended to start my own thread so here it is. The gist of it is I am unhappy, unmotivated and don't enjoy or look forward to anything. Am always tired and hate my life!

[Ggrand]

Hello Puple,

Please try and look for something to do when your feeling this low,

Distraction is what helps the most, Do you like reading, or internet games, jig saws are good, solitaire, checkers, scrabble. If you don't distract your self your thoughts are constantly on your sadness,

Please try.

karen

[Purple_lady1]

Doing this helps but I know I have nothing else in my life, either to look forward to or anything meaningful to do. As I am doing something I still feel very sad. My life is as it is and doing little things isn't going to change that. Another thing is how do we do this without getting on people's nerves because I am such a sad idiot

[Feeling_Lonely]

Hi Purple Lady,

How are you feeling today?

I suffer anxiety and depression and sometimes (more often than not lately) find every day life a struggle. I feel incredibly lonely and sometimes my anxiety isolates me even further because I am lacking confidence to participate in social activities and have made myself believe that no one cares about me. It can be a total negative, downward spiral.

I do have a full time job, but have had increased sick leave and am totally unproductive most days because there is so much noise in my head. I feel worthless at work and am in fear of being fired because I’m not performing.

A few months ago I was at rock bottom... but here are some things that I have implemented in my life (outside of counseling and meds, which I’m doing too) which have helped me.

- Exercise. Yeah it sucks and I have no motivation, but have forced myself to go for a short walk every morning (or most!). Fresh air, sunshine and exercise has helped. Sometimes I even force myself to smile and say good morning to strangers and am pleasantly surprised when they acknowledge me back.

- Mindfulness and meditation. I use a free app called Insight Timer. It took ages for me to get anything out of this as I could never silence the ongoing battle in my head, but with practice and persistence, I’m noticing a difference.

- Journalling. I do this daily. Sometimes 4 times a day when things are really bad. It’s like having an outlet, a way to vent without having to actually talk to anyone.

- Forcing myself to write down 3 things I’m grateful for and 3 things I like about myself. The second part was impossible at first. I stared at a blank page and couldn’t come up with anything, but learning to love ourselves is critical. With practice and persistence a mind shift began to occur. Often I am grateful for small things like the sun shining, living in a free country, having a bed to sleep in, for being able to talk here.

- Writing down 3 goals to achieve for the day (to give me purpose). Often one goal is to get out of bed. Another is to walk, journal, etc.

It is so important to be kind to yourself. I know that negative voice within you seems so powerful right now. But with consistency, positive change can occur.

Sometimes we have to accept where we are at instead of fighting it and learn how to make consistent small changes in our life to create the life we want instead of just wishing and hoping for a different life. I’m not going to lie, it’s bloody hard work!

[Purple_lady1]

Here's the thing maybe I am not as strong or as nice or whatever because I don't find that doing little things is any good as I am still depressed as I'm doing these things. I am so sick of pretending these things help because they don't

[Feeling_Lonely]

I understand Purple. Different things work for different people. For me, it’s taken at least 3 months of solid effort of doing these things before I have started noticing small changes in my mindset. They definitely felt useless at first, like a waste of time and I preferred to remain comfortable in my misery. But eventually my want to not be miserable forced me to make these small changes. I’m far from “cured” I relapse multiple times a day and multiple times per week. One thing that has changed is my ability to recover quicker when those down moments hit... I’m slowly building resilience.

Anyway, it’s not about me, I was just trying to offer some suggestions that may be useful for you too... but I totally understand that what works for one doesn’t work for all. To experience change in our lives we have to try and do something different.

Try to be kind to yourself though, that internal voice is the most powerful one. Try and treat yourself with love, kindness and respect. You are a worthy human being who is valued and is here for a reason. You have love and support here on these forums 🙂

[Ggrand]

Hi Purple,

The idea of doing things while you are feeling sad is to do mindfulness while doing them.

what this means is that, let's say your washing up the dishes.

, do them one by one, a glass for example, look at how dirty it is, feel the water on your hands as you immerse it, was it feeling the smoothness of the inside or the roughness of the outside, then rinse put on strainer, do the same with everything you pick up to wash.

The same when dusting, look, feel and see what your dusting. Everything you do when you have MH and are down in the dark end is to put 100% of your thought, feel, touch, into the task at hand. if we don't do it this way our sad thoughts continue to weaken us, we have to want and try things that might help us.

Feeling lonely..Well done on your achievements, I'm so proud of you sticking to your goal and succeeding, We will fall occasionally, I do quite a lot, when we do, we try again.

Purple, give it a go with 100% of your attention on the task your doing. It's worth a try.

Kindness only

Karen

[Purple_lady1]

Hi

Doing tasks is good but I can't counteract the loneliness I feel. It is overwhelming. My background in driving seems to stop people accepting me as a volunteer. When will my past be just that-my past. I want to get involved in something worthwhile, am at a loss as to what to do. I feel safe here but to join anything worries me because of the nastiness and the judging that goes on out there. Any suggestions?

Purple

[xCrumpetx]

Hello everyone

@karen i have read more about you on this thread and i think you are amazing 🙂 you are doing very good by helping people with mental illnesses on BB even if you are struggling too. I hope you have a nice day.

@purple hello. Sometimes i get sad too. What kind of little things have you been doing to distact yourself?

Have you liked anything, or had any fun hobbies in the past? Even as a child? It might be good to remind yourself of things you once enjoyed.

I think you are brave for posting here. By doing so, you are acheiving something in life 🙂

from crumpet

[Purple_lady1]

Thankyou Crumpet, I didn't expect to be called brave, more like pathetic. I have no job, no licence, no children around, no brothers and sisters around and the most hypochondriac mother up the road. The one person I don't want or need around. She has impacted my happiness on many occasions. If anyone thinks "at least I have my mother" I can assure you this is not a good thing by no means. Besides all of this, I drag around with the most pathetic sadness constantly. I have no motivation and if I do something I cannot shake the sadness that comes with it. The whole idea of being alone scares the hell out of me.

[xCrumpetx]

Hi purple,

you are not pathetic. When i feel sad about my circumstance, i remind myself to try not to compare my life with others. We are all at our own stage in life and we are allowed to go at our own pace.

Us on BB are not judging you on these forums because we understand that life can be hard. We do however like to try our best to help you and make you feel less alone.

i know it may seem lonely, especially since your dont have much family around you. Remember that we are here for you too.

have you ever considered getting help in the outside world? E.g. A doctor.

Is purple your favourite colour?

From crumpet