Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Thank you for the suggestions Dools. I hope your appointment goes well for you too.

Ive been trying to keep myself busy. I tried studying but i couldn't concentrate on that so decided to go for a drive around the country side and admire the views.

I dontknow how ill be after the appointment but im sure ill find something to do

[startingnew]

Oooga booga boo

I love you

I want to kill myself

[startingnew]

Oh my gosh i just realised something!

As of today i haven't self harmed in a week!

[Just Sara]

OMG!!!

I'm emotional lovely! How amazing are you?! Now you really do have something special to tell your psych.

I couldn't be prouder of you. I'm between laughing and crying! (in a good way) Oh my dear sweet girl, this is the best news ever! I can't stop smiling...

I'm sure you're going to have a great visit with your psych today; so much good news.

Sending a kiss on your forehead for a job well done!

Mwah!

Sara x

[Guest_3712]

Hi startingnew

as u suggested I read this other thread of yours . You have so many wonderful supporters already but I thought I would just add a couple of experiences that mesh with yours.

firstly not sure what your situation is re your choice of psychs but if u are able to change ( if still not happy ) then do it -'I have been seeing my psych for 7 yrs after 'sacking' 3 before him

we have an amazing relationship- I laugh , cry, scream , pace the floor ( usually each session) and he never wavers. He backs off a bit if I'm too fragile but isn't afraid to go there either in order to move forward.

secondly try not to be afraid of hospital- if u r feeling really bad this can be the best place for you

sure it's a bit scares at first - ok a lot scarey but theses are special people with special skills and are there to support you - besides you can pretty much say what you want in therapy and not have to worry about what others think - all in same boat

so to finish you are truly inspirational and I'm sure your Nan would be proud - just keep that picture of her waving goodbye to you in your heart .

She knew she was going and wanted that last look to be happy

well done on your progress so far

take care

Stressless

[startingnew]

i went to see my psych today and she actually listened to me.

she gave me some more information on coping strategies and gave me some more information about psychologists that would suit my needs. and we also discussed the situation im having my 'friends'

we worked out why i was asking for reassuance, how to recognise it and also how to deal with it myself.

i think im going to leave the other forums though because i shared that news with them on there and my psych news and they one in particular said i should have kept that to myself to work out- uhh excuse me but you ask for reassuarance all the friggin time and also ahve quirks that i dont like but hey ill keep those to myself.

sorry just a rant- ignore that

everytime i picture that thought Stressless it makes me cry as i knew how much pain she was in and how much she struggled. i could see it written all over her face- which i the only peace i have that shes in a better place.

im struggling so much from being on the other forum, its feels like its destroyed me and the thought of my nan not being here, and how pathetic i am not have any friends at all or family that supports me.

sorry to wreck your day guys, im good at it now 😞 😞

Esp your Sara - i should have just let you have your moment of happiness now ill be a complete dissapointment to you as well 😞

[startingnew]

sorry guys i shoudlnt have said anything

[james1]

Hey SN,

There is no need to apologise. We are here to listen to everything you have to say and we are not, in any way, disappointed.

You have done so much great work since you came on these forums. It's been wonderful following your thread even though I haven't posted as much.

I think it is good to make sure you get rid of the "supports" which are not supportive. You need good accepting people around you right now and what the others said made you feel upset.

Some days are worse than others and it is how we pick ourselves back up that defines our road to recovery. You've had many ups and downs, but if I was to read back on your first few posts and compare them to now, it is very clear you have made so much progress.

Our mind can often be clouded by these negative feels and thoughts, so we forget the improvements that have happened. And you've had so many improvements!

Perhaps today is a good day to remind yourself of all the good things you're doing - and the most recent one was posting here about your thoughts.

James

[Just Sara]

You've earned the right to rejoice and so have I.

Leave those bloody sod's out in the rain ok. We love you here and appreciate the amazing work you've done to come this far. Recovery is so hard, and you should be patting yourself on the back right now instead of listening to people who're rude and still in denial.

I'm really glad to hear you've had a great chat with your psych and I'm sure she's jumping the moon too at your success. Be kind and gentle with yourself and choose wisely with people you want in your life. You're one of a kind and I for one feel as proud as can be of you.

Not going back on that site is the best thing you can do on your own behalf!

Warm thoughts...

Sara x

[Just Sara]

Btw...I've put you on my Bouquet for Pearls thread as an inspiration to others. Hope you don't mind?

Still smiling...:-)