Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[startingnew]

Hi DB


Yes I still care for pop everyday and also my youngest sibling basically every day as well as working a few shifts a week. I have tried several times but they dont listen to me. I even said I would arrange his supported living but it just really turned into a major argument. No one else wants to take on this job but they expect me to be able to handle it all on my own.


I had my dental surgery and that went pretty well at least. My foot however I have seen now 5 specialsits and tried various treatments including nerve blocks, and treatments that I am only few in australia to try out but it hasnt worked. So im seeing 2 different specialists next week to see what they think. So far in only 4 months ive had nearly 50 appointments and spent nearly 4 grand. So its getting quite ridiculous now. Its the reason I had to take on yet another job as well.


I unfortunatley got to a real low, I stopped riding again,dont really even go to the horses (even thought about selling up) and started the self harming. Ive got it back under control for now but I can feel im heading for some sort of breakdown I think. Hard when i dont have anyone. even harder that i have to hide it and think more of others rather then myself when it comes to coping and making sure everyone else is ok.

[Sophie_M]

Hi startingnew,

We are sorry to hear that things have been so hard on you recently, with having to care for your pop and your youngest sibling whilst still struggling with your own mental health. We understand this must be such a difficult thing to go through,  please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it

[startingnew]

Thank you Sophie

[demonblaster]

Our dear loved Starts 🦋

You poor darling come here to Aunty Deebi sweetheart 🤗 feel the energy going into your soul from this long heart warming hug and let it ignite you.

Starts please do what needs to be done for yourself to at the very least for now help you through till you get a bit stronger which you will because wow you just keep going.

Hey that's huge stopping the self harming. Hope you feel empowered my girl.
You're doing it because it's all so incredibly hard the stress is at a max anxiety depression and I imagine plenty more going on too... yet... you found a way to pull back. That took mammoth will power

Where that came from is what you have and need to draw on now darlin.

In a couple of my deepest hardest times that were pretty much same everytime I got really bloody angry at feeling so desparately low.

It helped Starts not only letting some steam off it lifted me just enough to climb back up. Gave me some 🔥 fire.

That was one of my turning points knowing that from beyond hell we can still rise.
You've been there lovey and you're going through it now you poor soul.

Keep in mind You CAN-WILL and WANT to feel better.
Believe it

When you're stronger sweets I have a couple of suggests that we could yak about later when you're up to.
For now it's about you getting back on track.

You know we're here. Never too far away or for too long ☺ 🤝👀👂💗

Love and care 🌴 that palm tree has a feel good to it I reckon. Hope for you too huns

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Starts..

Im really sorry your going through so much bad times..

Its a shame that you don’t visit your horses...I bet they are missing you so much....I know that you used to enjoy being in their company...Do you think that you will ride again or just have your horses as loving pets...

I know when I’m really down...I sometimes brush my fur babies and talk to them about what’s bothering me and for some reason they really help by distracting my thoughts...oh as well as giving me lots of kisses...I really do think that all the animals we have as pets do understand our moods...

I think it’s so unfair on you to be the only one caring for your pop....I remember before how doing so was very mentally hard on you...I wish so much you had some help with his care...

I really do hope that your specialists or a specialist can figure out what’s going on with your foot...

As our Aunty Deebi said ...We are here for you and only a few types on the keyboard away...

Sending you my care, hugs and love Dear Starts...

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello little butterfly...

Just popping in to wish you a very Merry Christmas and wishing you all the best and peaceful wishes I can....

I hope today has some light shine for you sweetheart...

Love with lots of Christmas 🎄 Hugs 🤗..🎄🤗❤️💚🎄🤗❤️💚..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hey sweety Starts 🦋 Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and readers 👋

Darlin just want you to know you're never forgotten lovey.

I hope something over Xmas time has given you some lighter moments hun.

I love the pretties at Xmas all the glitters hol9grams Xmas lights and good cheer many people extend to others.

We did a small tiki tour around last night and saw some really good sights where people go all out and have the lights sparkling in trees with rain deers Santas all dressed up shepherds etc. Lovely.

Keep holding sweet girl there has to be better than what you're going through.

Always love and care our little butterfly 🦋🗯💗⚘

[startingnew]

Hi lovely people. how are you all?

[ecomama]

Welcome back startingnew, how are you doing? 

It's great to have you back. What's been happening? 

EM

[demonblaster]

Hey there our Starts good to see you. I dearly hope your lifes  starting to give you some goods happenings that you certainly deserve 🤗

Unsure if you're aware but the new forum upgrades are causing quite a bit of havoc for several people which I'm sure will be sorted asap so it's atm for a few of us hit and miss which discussions (threads) are seen/accessed including posts which I just lost no doubt which I'll find again sooner or later. 

Hoping your physical healths improving too darlin. 

Really must choof for now hun. Might see you around the traps or here ☺

Continuing love and care sweet thing 💗🤝☀️