Not coping after disclosure

[startingnew]

Please help me. Im really struggling.

last night i disclosed something that ive kept with me for 2 years now. Im already struggling with ptsd anxiety and depression but the event that i disclosed also comes under ptsd.

I rang a hotline and the first time in 2 years ive spoken about it and im so embarrassed and ashamed. I hate myself and blame myelf for it. And im terriffied! !

[Peppermintbach]

Hi magnificent Butterfly Wings (waves to all),

I’m so proud of you for the way you’re going about things, for the changes you’re making and for your determination to create a better for yourself 🙂

I want to give you the squishiest (but still gentle) hug ever...

I’m also very glad you didn’t cave to the darkk thoughts. Immensely relieved...it was so brave of you to resist those feelings. Another squishy hug...

Congratulations on beginning your TAFE enrolment process 🙂 That is truly wonderful! You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to but I’m curious about what will you be studying?

Good on you for doing charity work again. Of course my big hearted little sis is involved in that. You have a very giving and kind spirit that we all love...

Hopefully your cough subsides soon. It sounds terrible...

I’m sending affection, blue butterflies, gentle cuddles and much love...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hi my lovlies, thank you for your posts xoxo

im sorry im not up to much posting atm, i feel quite sick physically. my cough hasnt eased yet and just feel quite yuck and sore, its also set alot of my stomach issues off too so heaps of reflux and even more nausea then usual. ive made an appointment to see a gp tomorrow afternoon about it so hopefully will have some answers then. i havent even been able to crochet that much, i really want to be here for you guys 😞

i very much appreciate each and every one of you and your love and care, im hoping ill start to get better soon. it always warms my heart reading posts from you all. Sending many many hugs, much love and extra butterfly wishes. xoxoxoxoxo

[Peppermintbach]

Hi beautiful Butterfly Wings,

You’re really lovely to want to be there for us but I feel maybe just focus on your health first for now. The cough sounds pretty awful...

I hope you get to the bottom of things at your GP appointment today. I’m just sitting peacefully by your side, offering gentle comfort, cuddles and company.

As always, much love...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello little butterfly,

Im hoping you’ve been to the doctor this afternoon and she/he has given you something for your cough...Constant coughing wouldn’t be really helpful for you tummy problems....or your teeth...poor darling, I hope you start improving soon, you’ve had so much sickness this year, it’s just so not fair....

Starts, it’s okay sweetheart really it’s beautiful that you want to be here for us..But honestly we all only want the best for you, and want you to concerntrate on getting you well first...

Its my turn to sit with you tonight, I’ve brought with me a candle jasmine and mint..as wel as a big cuddle 🦋 butterfly....it’s wings wrap themselves around you and protect and care for you through the night as well as play the beautiful song.... “ In the arms of an angel”...Sara McLachlan....when you squeeze the tip of the wings....

Sleep well Little butterfly, thinking of you often...

Love and hugs..💜🤗..xx🕊🕊.

Grandy...

[startingnew]

Hi guys

many many sighs this past few days, i went to the drs, i have a tooth infection again (which i was warned i might get again until i get the bad tooth removed), its not a chest infection just a horrible cold and ive also got a kidney infection.

it is shocking 😞 im on strong antibiotic 3 times a day and have been told to have at least 4 days off from work with the horses and to rest as much as possible.

ill try to come back abit later tonight to respond properly. just abit tired this afternoon..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi lovely Butterfly Wings (waves to all),

You sound very worn out. So many infections...it all sounds so unpleasant...I feel for you, lovely one..

I will sit here quietly with you tonight. Maybe you’re not feeling your best but at least you’re not alone...I’m draping a soft blanket over your shoulders as you rest and just sitting quietly...

Much love and affection...

”Dusk till dawn”

Pepper xoxox

[startingnew]

Hello my dear friends, im still quite sick but I want to respond properly, I had my psychiatrist today and she has handed my care over to gp whom I rarely see. It kinda feels like shes giving up on me too but I cant do much. Ill just have to keep working on myself. Hopefully ill hear back from headspace soon too.
My kidneys are so sore. I went to the chemist, 10 minutes of standing was so bloody painful, I couldnt stand still because the pain n my back, groin, and entire middle section is ouchy. ! It didnt really help that I went for a short walk either. Gues ill have to keep still more and crochet and im not sleeping well either. Im really tired, and pain relief barely touches the pain. I cant wait for these antibiotics to kick in!




Grandy- your so sweet, thank you for sitting with me. What you have described sounds so lovely. You can come and sit with me anytime!
I am excited to study, it is something that I really do enjoy and the challenge despite hard also give me an end goal too. Im still in the process of enrolling, it might take a few weeks though.
Many many hugs and much love xoxoxoxox

[startingnew]

DB- well I thought id pulled up out of that hole but not quite, I think being unwell is contributing though so im just managing the best I can for now.
I am looking forward to my studies, few weeks to go though, they have to do all the processing and stuff. Hopefully not to much longer though!
I do enjoy the charity work too but I generally only do it at this time of yr otherwise its to much for me. Im passionate about this cause so it helps me feel abit better too knowing that it is actually helping others.


I know, im still having trouble with this client, its now been 5 weeks, and I wrote a msg last week. Ill check again tonight but I think ill call it quits if theres not a good outcome. Its damaging my health too.


My hand and toe is going ok, my hand will take a while to fully heal if it ever fully heals but im being careful with it and savnig it as much as possible still.


I am very much enjoying my crochetting but I dont have much energy either so only do about 20 minutes then have to put it away. And due to being tired I struggle with brushing my hair and showering latley too. Its embarrassing.


Sending many hugs and love to you too xoxoxoxox




Pepper- thank you sis, your words mean a lot to me too. Im still having many dark thoughts but I think its the pain levels and just feeling yuk contributing to, not to meantion the lack of sleep. The cough is easing slightly but with stronger antibiotics again hopefully itll all start clearing up more.


Thank you, I do enjoy my studies. Ill be studying medical terminology to start with then later in the yr or early next yr will aim for human anatomy. But one course at a time yeh.
I also enjoy the charity work too but I only do it at this time of yr, it is something im passionate about so it makes me feel good to.
Sending many hugs and love to you too and of course butterflies
Dusk till Dawn xoxoxo

[startingnew]

your post just popped up Peps, thank you for sitting and comforting me xoxox

I havent had the best day. pain relief really isnt help much at all. i stood in the chemist for 10 minutes and it felt like torture and a short walk too 😞 i have a post written up to everyone which explains abit more of my day and also an individual post to you too Grandy but it hasnt popped up yet.

[startingnew]

opps all the posts are up now