It's over. Feel like giving up.

[Guest_223]

Hi, in the short time I've been on this forum, This is the last time I will be posting on here, I'm at the point where I feel like reaching out does nothing for me. I've done nothing but reach out over the last 18 months which is the most I've ever done in my life. To be honest rather than be helpful to me it has created more traumatising events in my life and I feel I need to avoid society. I'm never contacting a helpline again, not talking to the local mental health team, I'm going to full on avoid society, keep all my thoughts and feelings to myself, no matter what they are or how serious they are, and even when I don't feel safe like at the moment I won't be making the mistake of telling anyone of any plans or terrible thoughts.

[Croix]

Dear MissMara~

Having someone that cares enough to listen is something very special. I had that, and even though my wife did not at first understand what was happening to me her care helped immensely. Later as things were explained to her she did understand too.

Has your husband reached that stage and understands?

Croix

[Guest_223]

I'm disappearing going off grid. I cannot handle everything going on right now. I just feel too weak.

[james1]

Hi MissMara, a little rest is never a bad thing. It sounds like you've been struggling to get any rest at all, mentally, for a while now. This is always a safe place for you if you would like to post some more.

James

[Guest_223]

Hi. I've had a break but it's been a very tough one where I've still been struggling. Lately I'm sitting with a lot of distress and just hoping and waiting for that distress to pass. I do nothing to help the time pass I just ride through it all. And it does pass. I've learnt to accept all the horrible thoughts that I keep having simply as thoughts. They bother me for a while and sometimes I act on them. Maybe Not telling anyone about these thoughts really is working as to me it's the best way to protect myself from being traumatised further.

[james1]

Hey Miss Mara,

It's lovely to hear from you again.

It is good to hear that you are finding that the distress does pass and are generally able to just sit with them and let them pass. Like you say, they are simply thoughts and feelings. They are not necessarily true. but they are certainly real and painful.

You are doing well. Keep posting here when you feel like you want to.

James

[Guest_99216260]

I know exactly how you are feeling 😢 I just had CT scans, and my doctor just dismissed everything on there, that I thought was VERY IMPORTANT. But, he just said he would do nothing??? I was sooo upset...I said "you would do nothing?" I have a nerve C5-6 that was an impingement, that could be life changing..even paralysis? Talk about being left speechless. I just decided at that moment today, to just give up...that NO ONE IS LISTENING TO ME ???? Plus a 24mm gastric diverticulum, a bulge in my stomach??? I might have well been talking to a stranger??? I just DON'T GET IT..I HAVE NHL AS WELL. I am fed up with not being heard...I think it's just because, I have, what I call a stand out red flag...I SUFFER FROM BI-POLAR. they look at that, and I think they go...A hypochondriac...I am totally mentally exhausted, as well as physically ill. Si, I DO GET HOW YOU FEEL 😢😢😢😢 I am totally broken, and all alone 

Best wishes to you ❤️