I NEED SOME ADVICE/HELP

[Nellym]

ok, so I don't even know the best place to put this but here goes.

So I was talking to an online chat the other night about some of my issues and getting some advice. They asked if I had self harmed and I had said yes. I told them I was not suicidal and only used self-harm as a coping strategy when my other strategies don't work. Was asked if anyone was with me, I said my husband but he doesn't know about everything (he knows a little bit) and I am not ready to tell him. Said I was seeing a psychologist and that they know everything going on. They kept saying I need to tell someone and go somewhere for help. I kept telling them I was ok and didn't need medical assistance. They asked if they could ring me and I said not right now, I am happy to ring later on tonight when I am alone. So chat ended there.

20 mins later I have police knocking on my door saying they had a report of someone harming themselves and wanting to commit suicide. Well all hell broke lose. I spoke to them, they realised I was ok and did not need to go to hospital.

So now is the part I need help with. My psych is on 2 weeks leave so cannot get into contact. I have had to tell my husband more than I am comfortable with at this stage. I had already planned to sit down with him and my psych. together and let him know more.

Now everything is worse than ever. My anxiety is through the roof, has just increased my SH, panic attacks have doubled, my husband has gone all weird on me and now I never want to reach out and get help again in case something like this happens again. I feel so alone and don't know what to do anymore. The last 2 days have been hell and I feel like the little control I had has now gone.

[White_Rose]

Hello Nelly

Having a rant is good for you. You need to get it all off your chest and then move on. The trouble of course is that it leaves you feeling exhausted. I am sorry your husband insists on being with you when you attend the psychologist. Can you ask your psych to refuse your husband being in the room? I am unsure if this is possible but I think he needs both your consent and that of the psych. I also realise this may be difficult as it may cause friction with your husband.

Sorry I am not being more helpful. I think you may need to insist this is your consultation and if husband wants to talk to the psych he must arrange a separate consultation. May I ask why he wanted to be there and what he discussed? Not an in depth explanation but just in general. Did he want to know how you were going, how long it would take, how you both can talk to each other. I ask because it is your time with the psych and more importantly, your time to get some help.

You mentioned he does not like the psych. Do you know why? I gather you feel comfortable with him. Does husband want you to change psychs and who would choose the next one. These are all important issues to address and in the meantime you are missing out on therapy.

I am so sorry you feel so dreadful. Can you phone the SCBS? Please be open with them as I believe they can help you through this. You sound so confused and unhappy. I wish I could offer more tangible help.

Mary

[Nellym]

My psych has told me he cant treat me anymore. I am beyond devastated. He was all I had left. My case is too complex for him and he is cutting back his hours. What am I meant to do now.

He recommended someone else but I cant get into see them for ages. I have gone from weekly sessions to nothing. No help, no hope, no more.

[demonblaster]

Hey Nelly ☺ and everyone

Wow that's hard hun. Very sorry to hear that.

I know it wouldnt be the same but maybe ringing here or lifeline could make the wait easier you poor thing.

You know you've always got here if you want to talk.

Don't know if writing out how you feel at home could give you some reprieve.

I wish there was something I could do or say to help but know I as others too care and are listening lovey.

Catch you later darl ⚘

[Nellym]

A lot has happened since I was on last. I have lost so much.

DBT has finished and no more support there.

Psych gone and still trying to find a new one that is close and has space available

Another attempt, spent 4 weeks in hospital

Out reach are finding it hard to find someone in my area who can support me

Life is a living hell

[demonblaster]

Dear Nellym 🤗

Wow you poor darl it just keeps at you doesnt it.

I'm so sorry hearing of another attempt I know too well how it is being that low.

There's so much more help and availability needed out there. It's so incredibly hard isnt it.

Darl I'm wondering if you might be interested in Mindspot online. I highly recommend it. I imagine everythings one hell of an effort atm but this if you can push through might give you some light and help.

I'm truly sorry for your incredible pain.

I'll be keeping an eye out for you even if you just want to chat or me to talk about whatever for a change of thought pattern let me know if there's anything I can do that could lighten the load.

Well done keeping in touch. Always want to know how you're travelling.

Another hug if you like. You're not alone here hun.

Peace and light wished ⚘

[White_Rose]

Dear Nelly

I am sad to learn you are in such a bad way. How has your family reacted to your suicide attempt? You said earlier your husband wanted you to talk to him more. Have you been able to do this? He is the person on the spot and can help you immediately.

While you were in hospital did you see any mental health professionals? Probably sounds a silly question but if you were admitted to a general hospital they may not be any MH doctors. Can you clarify this please? The other reason for asking, and I hope you were treated by MH people, is can they either find a psychologist or psychiatrist for you or treat you via an outpatients clinic? At the moment these seem the most likely avenues of help.

You said your retiring psych recommended someone else but there was a long waiting list. I take it you did not make an appointment with this psychologist. If so it's a pity as you may well be seeing this person by now. Can you try again? Even a long wait is better than no one at all. The other alternative is to go to a psychiatrist and under the circumstances this may be a better option. You can see both a psychiatrist and psychologist at the same time. They work a little differently to each other which may well be of benefit to you. Can you see your GP and get a referral?

I know it's easy for me to make these suggestions and not so easy for you to work on them. I have to say I have been where you are and know how devastating it can be. I got through this by focusing on one short period of time and getting through that. Sometimes it was just one hour then the next. Sometimes one day and so on. The more distressed you feel the shorter the time to focus on.

It is baby steps and it can feel as though you are running on the spot achieving nothing. Not the case. Each time you manage and get through a time makes you stronger. Look back occasionally and see how far you have come. Not too many backward glances because it can be disheartening. Just occasionally.

Nelly, I may not always be able to respond to you straight away. I have a serious illness and in fact have just spent four days in hospital. I do get tired but I find writing here is as much a help to me as, hopefully, it is to others. I will post but not necessarily immediately. I hope you understand.

In the meantime please give yourself other supports such as the Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 available 24/7. Use whatever is around.

Mary