I’m back and I need support

[Chicken_Wings]

I haven’t posted in a long time. I haven’t exactly been “well” the whole time, but I’ve been pretty good. It seems though that I’m starting to experience another low.

There are a number of things which seem to have lead to the feelings I’m having right now.

My mum has been diagnosed with cancer and it’s terminal.

I’ve just had another birthday, the older I get the less I look forward to them as they remind me of what I haven’t done.

Just came back from a trip to see mum (who used to be my go-to support person) and I can see she’s gotten worse. I don’t feel it’s fair any more to ask her to be my shoulder when I need one as she has enough on her plate.

Ive noticed that she is beginning to use me as her emotional support which means I put effort into appearing positive for her.

My boyfriend is not very helpful with my anxiety and depression as he also has anxiety and deals with it completely differently.

I feel like these things have built up on me a bit and now I’m feeling tense and anxious. I’m scared and sad and feeling isolated.

My fear is manifesting itself into pyhsical symptoms now. I’m not eating that well and I feel like my brain isn’t as quick as it has been, like I can’t keep up.

I kind of just need to tell someone these things and hopefully hear that it’s ok to feel this way. That this is temporary and that with effort I can feel like myself again.

[Chloe_M]

Good morning!

even though the pleasure was short lived, it's still 'progress' in a way. Good one 👍🙂

good luck with your appt today, it is good that you are looking forward to it. As they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. Guess it's the same with a burden so to speak.

Chloe 🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello CW,

I happy for you that your meeting went okay..Well done..

Enjoy your time with your psych today..

i hope your days good,

Speak tonight ..

Kind thoughts n hugs 🤗

Grandy

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Grandy and Chloe,

I had my appointment yesterday and it was great to talk to her. We talked about my health anxiety and how stressed I’ve been over the last week or so.

I feel ok right now and I wish I was confident that I would continue to feel this way. I’m going to try. I have a less stressful end of the week at work.

The hard part now is that my boyfriend is also in a depressive slump so I don’t really have any support at home.

[Ggrand]

Hello CW,

Isn't it a great feeling to talk to our psychs sometimes, it really is a huge release of our built up emotions..I'm happy for you that you appointment went well.

CW,you are confident enough, I know you are, as soon as you get a negative thought, tell the (beasty) to shoo..get..away..shoo..then think the opposite of what beasty was telling you...I'm trying a few different ideas to get on top of this...and shooing beasty away is one of them...no missy nice girl anymore..I want a happy life, I am going into my mind and finding it... half the week gone now..weekend time soon, have you any plans for the weekend?

Does your bf see a Psych at all?

CW, I need to say this to you because I care a lot about you.. Please look after your health first...

Warm and caring 🤗 hugs.

Grandy..

[Chicken_Wings]

Thanks Grandy,

I’m going to keep working on my thoughts. I have some homework from my appointment and I need to keep up my other good habits.

Im a work in progress.

My bf has seen a couple of different psychs, but I don’t think any of them have been as good or as helpful as he needs. Finding the right person really is so important.

I know his mood effects me. But I also know (like you said) I need to care for myself.

[Chloe_M]

Good evening CW,

good to see that you enjoyed talking to your psychologist. I find talking to someone really helps to relax me. I agree finding the right person to suit your needs, age, gender, personality in general etc is very important. Hopefully your bf finds someone he can really connect with and start working on fighting that depression!

im a work in progress too 😄 In some ways I think we all are

You should be your top priority. Self care is #1; well it should be. A lot of people don't put themselves first; they put their kids, partners, friends etc and studies, activities, things they are committed to before themselves. This is one of the number one causes and factors that contribute to stress.

I hope you have a peaceful nights sleep xx

same to you Grandy 💜

Chloe💛

[Chicken_Wings]

Just letting you know I’m doing ok.

Was up and active on both days of the weekend. Had some anxious moments but pushed myself not to run away from them.

My boyfriend was really down which made it hard, but I just kept on trying to improve.

[Chloe_M]

Hi CW

Thats great, nice to hear that the anxiety was pushed aside.

Sad to hear your bf is down, comfort him if he needs it but remember to focus on yourself.

Have a good night 🙂

x chloe

[Ggrand]

Hello CW,

Your weekend sounded like it was okay. I admire you the way you push through your anxiety and not run away..

i hope your bf is okay.. please remember CW, thatbyou need to care for yourself first, especially if your supporting your bf..I'm slightly concerned for you CW..please keep posting here and taking care of yourself, remember to eat enough food and let it be healthy and even though it's cooler weather, drink plenty of water as well.

Warm and caring hugs 🤗🤗.

Grandy..

[Chicken_Wings]

Thanks Chloe and Grandy,

We had homemade soup for dinner tonight. Full of lovely vegetables and a roll to go with it. It’s nice to care about what you eat and even nicer when it’s good food.

I don’t want to count my chickens, but I’m feeling quite positive. I finally feel like I’m starting to have some control.

I think I might try to plan some more outdoor activities for the weekend. Maybe somewhere I can take my little dog.

My bf has improved a bit from the weekend. I’ve just tried to maintain focus on keeping myself well, because I can’t help him if I’m not ok.

Thank you for your concern Grandy. I promise that I’m looking after myself. My next psychologist meeting is on Tuesday and I feel I will be proud to tell her how I’ve been doing.

I hope you are both well.