I always do things ass about

[velvetfaerie]

My first introduction thread after being here FOREVER..... because I always do things backwards...

Velvz. Bipolar.... type? Not sure. I walked out of the psychiatrists office the day he tried putting me on more meds. That was a decade ago.

Anxiety issues. OCD issues. Occasional SH concerns. Checkered history of substance abuse.

I manage for the most part by exercising, good healthy food and good sleep practices. Substances these days are 3 drinks maximum and I'm rat assed.

I work full time. Study part time. Bought my own house years ago. On my own. Ok the bank helped lol!!! Most days for me are 10-14 hours depending. That's work and study and house things and exercise.

At the moment I'm struggling because I believe I've burnt myself out and pushed myself into hypomania. I'm all over the shop. Been here before but no psychosis stuff. Woo.

Oh man I don't know what else to say. No kids. Love kids. But conscious decision not to have my own. Love men. But sadly I'm intolerant to relationships after a while. Moody 😁😁

Animals and music are my passions.

Yeh so..... **** awkward silence***

velvz.

[quirkywords]

Shell

Nice to see you. Glad you are reading and listening I do that a lot.

Velvet,

I hope you feel better soon. It is interesting how people distinguish between work friends and opther friends when everything you did indicates you were a good friend. Maybe she did not want work people to know what she was like outside work. Who knows?

I think sleeping for a month would be enough for me not a decade.

Quirky

[velvetfaerie]

Ah well I know a lot about her life. But it’s ok.

im thinking of ending it with my bf. I’m sick of being last. Constantly.

[CMF]

Hey Velvz,

I know that feeling of constantly being last. I'm sad to hear that you have reached a ont where you think you may have to end things with with but at the end of the day you need to put yourself first. Being last is not a good feeling, it is an awful feeling to be always waiting your turn. Gosh the thought of it makes me sick as i did it for years but didn't see it at the time. It sounds all too familiar. Constantly waiting just puts us behind in our lives as we sacrifice other things when we could be moving forward. You deserve more my friend. Do you think you will feel better, more freedom?

cmf x

[velvetfaerie]

I have freedom. He hasn’t. His ex uses the kids to obstruct our relationship. He has them full time when home from working away and she’s forbidden me to meet them. He obeys out of fear. So we barely see each other.

I don’t want us chucked into each other’s lives , kids and me, but where’s the balance? Also I know they are priority too.

She wins.

[CMF]

If the obstruction wasn't there would you want to stay together? I'm hearing you loud and clear but when you say 'she wins' it sounds like it is not what you would do if that issue were not there. If they live with him full time when he is here then she has no right to tell him whom, they can and can't be around but i see he lets her control that. what a shame. Maybe a break is in order, sound like he needs to sort stuff out and stop being controlled. Perhaps give him the space to sort it out and an ultimatum/choice. He does not have to give up on his kids but he needs to put her in her place.

Sending you hugs.

[velvetfaerie]

Yes I would.

Man you’re smart and wise thank you.

We’ve been fighting all morning and I just can’t get him too see how this has affected me.

He is sorting other stuff but the fundamental relationship basics r not there.

So depressed. Hugs r graciously accepted and returned.

[CMF]

Is tahr yes, you would like to stay together?

If so, you know what you need to do.

[CMF]

I'm not that wise, look at my life. I am depressed too though. Christmas tree is up for the kids, big deal. People have their houses decorated and lights on - wow, who cares.

[velvetfaerie]

Urgh I’m just over it all so I’m getting my social on with all my friends and having fun.

Ignoring the big pile of pffft. Clearly I’m not worth standing up to the ex.

Christmas - pfft. The festive in my house is corella feathers. It’s moulting time.

v.

[CMF]

Go have fun girl!

I know you have 'freedom' but you are not 'free' because she controls when you can see your partner.

Sorry don't want to go on about it's bugging me cos I've been there. How about you slap mine around the head and I'll slap yours. I wouldn't want you to end relationship, if you want to be in it, because of someone else.

Now go have that fun you deserve and think about what YOU really want in your life.

CMF x