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How do you cope with change.?

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

We have to deal with change in our lives every day, small changes and often big changes. 
I have trouble coping with big changes because I keep comparing my life to what it was like before the change.

I wonder how others cope with change. I am focusing on changes in our lives  and how we manage them. 

8 Replies 8

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Not sure whether anyone can see this post. Just another change we need to cope with. 

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey quirky, nice to see you! Very important topic you started. 

 

Change indeed! Years ago I heard someone say, we all love change when we KNOW they're GOOD.
Bring that $million and CHANGE my life! 
It's not "change" so much as events that impacted our lives in a negative way that we may all struggle through. 

 

My Counsellor picked up on this last week with me and made some points.
People cope with changes differently (ofcourse). 
People who have resilience will cope better with negative changes or difficult situations. My question for her tomorrow is HOW to build resilience? (She had said I already show resilience... long story). 

 

Another point & helpful trait she mentioned was resourcefulness. ALL of us here on the BB forums ARE showing this trait, using this site as a resource. She pointed out that I have sought resources relentlessly over the 7y she's been my C. I do, I never stop. 

 

The next points are my own:
Acceptance. Practicing this as a part of my day. Knowing events happen to all people in varying forms. 
With this is it's yin to the yang... NON acceptance too! Not putting up with garbage from others ie utilising boundaries, asking for help, getting what we need if possible. Works in progress for me. A blatant refusal to love with the status quo if it's crappy. 
Gratitude. For anything; every opportunity I've had, the country I live in, seizing the moment to experience JOY, all opportunities in my future.
Motivation, a biggie. 

Your thoughts? 

Love EM

 

Depends on the change I guess. I'm generally very adaptable. 

When it comes to the BB layout change, I roll my eyes at myself and keep on going.

Big life changes, usually terrified on the inside and on the outside I put a brave face on. I also try to focus on any positives that may come out of those changes.

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

EM

nice to see your name and thanks for replying.

i agree resilience is helpful with change. I coped after the fires but sometimes small changes can throw me. 
can one teach resilience or is it heriditary…?

V thanks for your reply.I lost your post, I know there is auto save but I do not know how to find it. 
A brave face and focusing  on positive are helpful suggestions.

ecomama
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello again quirky 🙂

 

When you said: "I coped after the fires but sometimes small changes can throw me."

That chimed a bell in my mind to do with trauma... and POST Traumatic Stress Disorder, which you may know I've been diagnosed with... sometimes we cope immediately after the event and it's not until later ie POST meaning after.... that we may develop the "stress Disorder" part.. just saying. 

 

Yes! that a great point to think about whether we "inherit" resilience / or we are formed by our childhoods to be more resilient and also whether can learn to become more resilient. 

 

I've been told that it does stem from our childhoods. My Counsellor said the positive close family relationships I had over a long period of time helped support resilience in me at least. (Whilst my reaction to the harmful events contributed to C-PTSD, strange lol). 

 

I Googled a program my kids at school have been involved in and you can read up on it too for a taster if you like? It's called the BOUNCE BACK Program and the aim is to teach resilience. 

 

I know you're into YouTube (or have been) and one WONDERFUL Channel that has me enthralled about all sorts of stuff is The School Of Life. I laugh at some comments saying, 'What was the question? Oh it doesn't matter what it was, the ANSWER is look to your childhood!' SO interesting. 

 

So the Bounce Back info may help for acquiring the understandings and the YT channel could take it from there, idk, see how you go! 

 

Love EM

 

 

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

EM
Thanks for telling me about bounce back program.

Wondering how people are coping with different changes.

I find if my plans are changed by others , I don’t like having other change but I can cope. 
How do others cope.