Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Announcement Icon
You can win one of three $200 gift cards. Complete our survey by 5pm, 30 June 2024 AEST to enter the draw. Your response will be anonymous so you can't be identified.

Are we kidding ourselves that things really can get better

Community Member

I have been in this vicious cycle for so long now and nothing gets better. I am battle fatigued. Truely just numb. Single parent to 2 teens with mental health issues and a narcissistic ex ( kids father). I have experienced my ex attempt suicide, my youngest who was 10 yo at the time attempt suicide and my now 14yo attempt suicide 4 times. I live an emotional roller coaster that I vant keep up wth unless I self medicate. I have 2 inpatient admissions in 7 months cause I just can't see any light left. We exist not live. I am totally lost. We have support services in place but nothing changes . I don't know how other people seem to cope and I can't. I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I feel damaged and broken. I don't want pity and I know there are lots doing it harder than I am. I want to know how to survive this or is it possible t survive ths? And please don't advise me to self care. I truely have little or know time to myself to address my own needs as my chidrens needs are high plus I work to pay bills. Sorry to sound grumpy and selfish. I am just lost and feeling hopeless.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

357 Replies 357

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Dottibluebell, it sounds as though life seems to be pretty tough for you with the worry of your two children and of course this also means you as well.
I don't know which support services you have in place and would like to know, and I say this because they may or they not be the typical choice, but I'm not going to dwell on this at the moment, because that's what you don't want.
I have to say how scared you must feel and undoubtedly I would as well, and no not everyone can cope at times, this illness is far too strong, we all know this, it's not 7 day virus it goes much deeper than that and much longer too.
There is no one else doing it tougher than you, and no we're not talking about other people here, we're specifically discussing your situation, no one elses.
You say that you don't want pity, well I'm sorry but that's what you do need because it's been an extremely devastating period for the three of you.
Is it possible for your kids to go and stay with some other family member, and I say this because I feel as though your family unit needs to be broken up for whatever period it takes, each one of you need individual help, I maybe wrong and please tell me if I am, but I would like to hear back from you about what support services you have been given. Geoff.

Community Member

Hi Geoff. Thanks for replying.

We have lots of services involved. I have an outreach worker, mental health case worker AOD counsellor. Kids have youth workers and psychologist/case clinicians.

I have no family involved in or lives anymore since my first inpatient admission. They told my kids I am a terrible mother. I know I am making bad choices with alcohol and ptrescription meds, but i don't know how else to cope anymore. I feel so guilty for ruining my kids lives. I loathe myself.

Community Member
Hi Dottibluebell Life can really test the best of us sometimes. I guess all we can do is take it day by day and hope that one day we see something we've been missing for years. We loose so much of the person we used to be when we have complicated issues in our lives. From personal experience and having depression, PTSD & anxiety life can improve. I am 54yrs old and felt lost, lonely, angry and depressed for about for over 30 years. I have had lots of trauma in my young life which seemed to follow me for many yrs to come. I've have been married for 26yrs which has had its challenges, including one of our girls being sexual abused by their grandfather. Which turned everyone's life upside down. About 10 yrs ago I began to see my life changing, I came across some great support through friendships. I started to see things differently and started to enjoy doing things like listening to music and dancing when I was home by myself, gardening and having time for coffee with friends. I now get pleasure from the simplest things in life. So yes life can get better! I have to say though that I did have to do a lot of self care in order to be there for not only my husband and girls but for me. It really does help. I hope you can also start to see through your troubles and enjoy life. Thinking of you Chris. 🙂

Community Member

All family and friendships have expired since my admissions for mental health issues. I don't want or need anyone anymore. I have seen 6 psychs in the last 10 years and they listen but what has changed. Nothing. My self care is self medicating. That's all I can manage. Pathetic I know.

No one will have the kids due to their high needs. I don't like to sound ungrateful for all your suggestions but I cannot see anything positive as an outcome anymore.

i,am going to take a different approach((((( you who are above me)))

i'm going to look on you as a my general on a battle field of life!

on the wall is a map it is called the backward side of tomorrow,

your behind your desk, war is all around, a bomb has hit the bunker,

and timbers falling, you still sitting there, having a gin,

i come in shouting "who i'm i in this piddle drying uniform"?

you say to me, "did you know that it is very peaceful milking a cow"

i say "with all that (%#@*) going on around my soldiers you sit there like an anvil milking a ($%#&*)cow;

you turn around to the map and say"this is our escape plan in the near future;

and your voice tarries on the wind, stays in my mind.

no i'am not happy, but armrest is sometime in the future;

the reply is for dottibluebell sorry if i have greatly offended anybody

What does that mean?

I am sorry. I really don't understand what you mean. I can be quite dumb at times

Community Champion
Community Champion
Dear Dottibluebell~
You are a hard person to give a compliment to, even though I meant it. You have an enormous lode to cope with and whilst you might have various support agencies to assist the brunt still falls very much on you.

You talk of letting down your kids, however you are there for them giving an example of devotion and care no matter what.

I realize it can be frustrating to have the same suggestions made to you, particularly if you have tried them before or they are not practical. Despite that I do think that there has to be something that can ease you a little from time to time and take you out of yourself. If a comedian can lighten my state when suicidal then there is certainly relief in unexpected places.

Here I’m not talking about self-medication, which is a problem it itself and can only make things worse as time goes on. It is also dangerous. I really think you should seek help for that.

I’m very sorry your ties with your family and friends aren’t there now. Is there any possibility of being in contact again?

Please do not say or think you are pathetic, rather that you are trying to cope under and tremendous load.