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how do i stop crying

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.
784 Replies 784

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

It is so close to christmas.I think i have the kids in the afternoon this christmas.Christmas is a bit of a sad occassion for me as my mum passed away christmas day.The year has just flown by.I do a glazed ham and a roast duck and make my mothers egg and potato salad.I will have to start looking for presents and hiding them.

You really are a joy for me talking to you.I am glad you msg me,thank you

Mark

I hear you and I think for the first time ever Christmas will be a sad day for me too this year. However I did talk to my counsellor about that are I think there are some things I can do leading up to the day to prepare as well as acknowledge my brother is missing on the day, like make a spot for him and have a candle or something. I am also trying to put it into perspective too that everyday we love and miss him and afterall Christmas is just another day in the week like Monday and Wednesday so to try not to add pressure to the day and that we miss him everyday, the same as you miss your mum everday, Christmas is a special day but to be kind to ourselves too and let some part of the day be about a smile and a laugh with some special people.

Your menu sounds amazing, I think my dad will do a glazed baked ham too, he did one for the first time last year and we loved it. I love duck too it is amazing, I love the duck pancakes with the hoisin sauce..yum!

You bring joy to me too Mark so I feel grateful that we have been able to chat as well as heal each other, the power of people and kind people really is awesome.

OK, so the cupcakes are a fail apparently, she doesn't like them, I think they taste awesome so looks like I will take them to work for my friends...bloody kids..oh well at least I don't have to make more..lol

She is now doing her playlist for her party...teens!!! LOL..we didn't have to worry about such things!

S

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I know kids are fussy when it comes to food.I was eating boiled peanuts yesterday and my daughter tried one and said their discussing,i thought they were yum.

I allways have a beer and do a toast for mum at 2pm the time she passed christmas day.The first christmas without that special family member allways seems the hardest.

My daughter dosnt seem to listen to music much,mostly plays games on her laptop and watches dvds.

I just folded up the washing and pit the chooks away and fed Bubbles.And i have done my notes on my son for my ex for the specialist next thursday

Mark

Oh wow, boiled peanuts sounds interesting, i have never heard of that before, do you buy them like that or do you make them yourself? I am not sure that mine would like them either..lol, they are pretty good when it comes to food though so I really shouldn't complain!

You have been busy too with folding washing and writing notes, that is really good that you can both have input into his therapy and that you do that for him, that is really good.

My daughter loves music, infact we all do, my son plays the drum, bass guitar and sax, they both get on the piano from time to time and sometimes we will belt out a few tunes, sometimes when the kids are not here and I need some therapy I will get on the piano and belt out a few things too, I find it so good for my soul. It is really depressing but my tune of choice is "How to save a life" by The Fray.....can relate obviously!

That is really nice to do a toast and I think that is something we could perhaps do to, I think I will have to chat to my dad though and see what they want to do to as I certainly don't want to push it too much but at the same time I would like to acknowledge my brother, as they will too but I don't want to over do it and hurt them.

Can you tell me a bit about how you do the duck, do you marinade it or something, I feel like it is something really tricky to roast, not like a regular chicken when it comes to cooking????

I would love to have chooks, there is nothing better than fresh eggs from them, and the whole process of collecting them and becoming friends with them. I would like name them and everything, lol.

Sarah

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I dont do anything really special with my roast duck just dry and rub salt into the skin and roast it like a chicken.Allways turns out yummy.I started cooking roast duck for christmas for the first year after she passed,i wanted to start a new tradition.

I have 4 chickens and the eggs are good,nice to have fresh eggs.My daughter has named them.I try to be self sufficent growing my own fruit and vegies.

Thats great you are all so musically talented.I havent a musically bone in my body and couldnt sing to save my self.

I buy the boiled peanuts allready boiled.There just boiled in salted water.Taste yum,well i think they do.They are usually in the fridge section in a packet in the fruit and vegie section at the supermarket.

I eat anything and will try anything unlike these kids of mine.

I did two pages of notes on my son and my ex has a book that she rights everything down.See how he goes this week at school,be nice of he could have a good week without any drama.

Mark

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi sarah.I am. Not having a great morning.I decided early this morning to go for a motorbike ride and ended up breaking the chassis going over a bump.So now i am waiting for a tow truck to take me home 2 and half hours away from home.I should have stayed in bed.

Oh crap Mark, that is really shit, I hope you are ok though as that is the most important thing. How frustrating that you were trying to get out and do something positive and fun and this happens..grrr...

Well I guess now you have another project to do in fixing the bloody bike.....I hope also that it is not too expensive either.

Just arrived at work so hopefully not too much of a crazy day today, I am feeling a bit weird today so not sure what that is about..just feel anxious and a bit out of sorts....hmmmm

Well keep me updated with the truck and I hope you are not waiting too long, you can chat to me while you wait!

Sarah 🙂

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

The good news is the tow truck will be here in 30mins.I have no idea if i can weld it or not,whether it will be strong enough.Its my yamaha xj650.

I was trying to be positive and do something i really enjoy and this happens,cant take a trick.

And my wife starts texting me while i am broken down with more crap grrr.

Cant wait to get home and have a beer.

Mark

Matchy69
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
I hope your ok as you said you felt a bit funny.If you need to talk im here

Awesome that the truck will there soon, at least you are not waiting all day...

I hear you, you try to do something positive and then it turns to crap, but like I said I am just glad you are ok as it could have been a really nasty accident and you could have been hurt and that is way worse!

Just what you need too your ex putting pressure on you, maybe just hold off on responding as you don't want to escalate the messages and be at each other unnecessarily. Hopefully she is not putting too much pressure on you.

Is there at least a nice view or something to enjoy while you are waiting?

A beer sounds good, although probably a bit early for me....I am still getting through my first coffee for the day but I can assure you there will be many more today! I do love a beer though, especially in summer when it is really hot and you can sit outside and have an icy beer..feels good.

S