Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues
I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.
I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.
I saw my psych yesterday. It was a very intense session with some tears. Reliving the stressful events of the previous 12 days & admitting my failures left me feeling very emotional. Rather than providing a solution to change things he told me I need to accept that my life is going to continue to be stressful with frequent difficult times. Learning to accept this & cope better is a real challenge!!! He tried to reassure me that my irrational thoughts & behaviour is reasonable given my previous trauma history. I still don't like it as it makes me feel stupid & out of control.
I'm currently trying to lose weight & trying to get much fitter (not easy when I'm tired ,Stressed & the weather is so hot) which is taking a lot of emotional energy to keep going when I'm so tempted to give in & have a break. I don't know how long I can keep going.
I'm glad you have a psych who seems realistic and knows your life is constrained by your circumstances. No good expecting things that are not going to happen. Also knowing that your thoughts are reasonable considering your history must be a plus. Events do cast long shadows as you know.
Coping is something we all have to do to some extent, and the methods vary from person to person. Did your psych have any specific suggestions on what you might do to help live with these problems?
Good luck with losing weight, I have to as well, and I - and many others -well understand temptation 😞
Thanks Croix, I find it frustrating that each time I try to set a goal that should help me (often with my psych's encouragement something goes wrong & stops it. It is hard to bounce back from repeated setbacks. My emotional energy is so low at the moment that it is hard to try again. This list of things I know I should be doing just adds to the guilt & frustration. For example I was supposed to try going out somewhere cool for a few hours each week to stop feeling trapped in my house & feeling useless. Last weeks forecast of extreme heat rather than motivating me made me feel so anxious & out of control I went to my friends for 3 days. While this was OK it is not a sustainable regular option & I now feel what's the point of organizing a regular 3 hour break if I'm going to panic anyway.
I used to have my family around monthly but haven't for a while. I was planning to start again since most have time to meet together Sunday afternoon. Feeling so burnt out from recent events & so much babysitting I just don't have the energy to organise it. I want to get back to enjoying my family rather than feeling overwhelmed & guilty.
Is there a phone place you can go to with your husband so they can see and witness his limitations and be able to assist with something suitable?
I'm thinking it is time for me to get away for a day or a weekend would be lovely. I might look at some accommodation options. My issue is I can drive somewhere, then when I arrive I am exhausted and feel like I need a sleep before I can drive home again.
Now the school holidays are over, accommodation may be a little cheaper. I'd love to have a caravan! With an air conditioner!
Cheers from Dools
Thank you Quirky & Dools for your kind words of support.
We have had some luck with the phone. We finally had a person from Vision Australia who specialises in technology visit & she went right back to basics teaching both of us how to use the phone using accessibility options. She got us both to practice in front of her until we were getting things right consistently & then taught us other things to do. Sighted people don't use these things so can't help. There are lots of different ways of flicking the screen with different numbers of fingers, different numbers of time really fast & in different directions each of which does something different. Before we were just fumbling around & mostly failing. It is good for me to know as I can write everything down so I remember & can help my husband when he gets stuck.
I really need a break from the hot weather as it is really increasing my stress levels & I'm not sleeping properly. This tiredness is making it harder to deal with things. This month is very busy with a lot of appointments for my husband. I'm waiting for the builder to contact me to arrange to repair my kitchen Hopefully that will happen soon. I'm going on a cruise at the end of the month. I can't wait. It will be a relief to leave the country for a while & not be constantly triggered.
I'm very glad you were able to find someone to assist with the phone, there are so many options that could be helpful it can be a real pity if they are not used simply though lack of available advice and training. I do know Vision Australia does have courses on the subject, although a one-to-one is always better.
One thing to bear in mind is that facilities are always improving, and whilst it may not be necessary to know how each one works it helps to keep abreast and have just a very basic overview of what continues to become available. That way if anything stands out as being potentially very useful one can make further enquiries.
Are you taking your husband with you on the cruise?
Yes my husband is going on the cruise with me. The first time we went on a cruise we were worried because my husband's balance was bad so we weren't sure how he'd cope. We hit some rough patches which I struggled to cope with as I couldn't walk straight. My husband laughed at me saying he felt normal (unbalanced anyway) so it was time I felt what it was like losing my balance!!!
Once he gets used to where everything is he is fine on the ship. We avoid the buffet as I find it stressful getting both meals but the dining room is fine. I am looking forward to a break from heat,smoke, fires etc.
Thanks Croix, I am looking forward to the complete break. The first 3 days are at sea which will give me time to relax before arriving in port & feeling I have to make the most of every second!!!! I blame my parents. Holidays were always about doing & seeing as much as possible in the time available & we enjoyed it so I tend to be the same. It is really hard to just relax.
As for my kitchen it is in the hands of the company the insurance have arranged to fix it so I can't see it being done while we're away.
I saw my psych again yesterday. Once again it was intense as I needed to explain what has been happening lately particularly my intense over-reactions to some triggers. The message I got was that I need to just survive this period as best as I can. I need to get the courage up to explain to family members what is wrong so that it is easier for me to say no to babysitting & other demands while I'm so stressed. I'm unsure how much to say & how to explain it & talking about it stirs everything up making it worse. After the summer I will need to learn & practice some techniques to use when I'm really anxious to calm down but trying to do that now is unlikely to work as I'm too stressed all the time. It is helpful having someone who understands & is trying to help me learn to accept my condition & reactions