Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[demonblaster]

Hey Elizabeth thanks for being in touch ⚘

It really does feel like that and because so much is going on and beingso exhausted is the absolute pits

I've found when it's that bad it takes quite a while to regain strength. It'll come slowly hun the more you sleep each time gaining a little more

You poor dear lady 🤗

Good idea from Sophie hun save your energy and give them a call sounds like a good idea.

It's ok just to post when you're up to it we understand.

Look after yourself lovey and thanks you're very welcome ☺ dearly want to see you better.

You'll get there you're a survivor ⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I ended up going to 3 different places one after another with a day home in between to catch up on washing and check on hsb. I started to feel better with the break. Even feeling up to some exercises and walks without feeling pressured. Mood was better while I was away and hsb noticed I seemed better when I returned. I believe this showed that the fatigue and burnout were huge factors in my ability to function rather than just feeling depressed reducing motivation. If it was just the depression pushing myself to do things which normally help would lift my mood whereas it made things worse. Instead resting helped motivation.

Unfortunately still need more respite to recover. The last place I stayed was great. Large windows overlooking garden with views to mountains. Just looking out the windows at the view seemed to help me. We had discussion /presentations on topics relavent to the people staying there which were uplifting. The afternoon was time to rest ponder and have counselling which helped me. They helped me see what I need to change but I need a lot more time and help to really put things into place and get the rest I need to be able to apply what I need to do. Yesterday I was feeling good having some plans to try to move forward to get myself better physically and mentally. Last night everything came unstuck. I went out to a church activity but the room was too hot triggering bad feelings. I tried to keeep under control but the effort meant I couldn't interact with anyone and I felt very isolated. I arrived home to find my hsb sitting inthe house with all the windows closed hoding the heat in. The thought of trying to sleep in such hat tipped me over the edge so I ran out to the garage to escape in the car. I couldn't stop to speak to anyone too scared I would explode and do something I'd regret. It took ages before I could drive home. Today I feel exhausted and couldn't cook tea tonight as I was too wound up. I feel so upset tnat I have undone all I acheived while away.

[demonblaster]

Dear Elizabeth ⚘ hi and to readers too ☺

It was really good hearing there were some positives in your time away. I hope you'll be able to get more rest and be able to work on what you've learnt in time.

That would've been very upsetting about the house being so hot. Sorry hearing it undid a lot as well. Elizabeth darl that might come back later when you're back in a routine hun. You were very upset which really does tend to push everything else aside. It's consuming isn't it. Fortunately that does eventually subside.

I don't know the reasons for the house being like it was. I know some try to do same so not to let the hot air in. Think I prefer air coming in.

The third place sounded so lovely with a gorgeous view by the sounds. Glad you had that and it'd be a lovely peaceful memory to call on too I hope hun ☺

I think there's a great deal of healing in rest and especially sleep.

Thanks for letting us know how you're going lovey. I wonder at times how it is for you. Remember though dear lady just when you're up to postings fine.

Look after yourself as well won't you.

Regards and care to you both ⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I didn't reply sooner. I have been struggling to get back on track after the incident with the hot room. I am due to go back to the place for respite tomorrow which I desperately need. The last week has been difficult. Hsb had a choking episode Saturday night. Prior to that he was quite well. Normally his coughing is enough to clear the airways so he can recover. This time he was left with breathing problems and feeling something stuck in the airways. After a sleepless night he agreed to go to ED last Sun. He was sent home with medication to stop further infection. He started improving until Wed when he went downhill very fast. I got very little sleep all last week with the worry and him coughing and needing the bed on a steep slope so he could breathe. Thurs went back to ED and he was admitted to manage the multiple problems which presented due to breathing difficulty and not being able to get enough fluids or nutrition to sustain him.

I feel so stressed and exhausted from lack of sleep and worrying about him. I don't know when hee'll come home so I can't plan for while I'm in respite. If I cancel carers and he's home we're in trouble if I don't cancel and he's still in hospital that's not fair on them. Instead of being able to have a break at respite I need to be on call to organise things depending on what happens. If I don't go to respite I don't know how I'll cope as I am at breaking point. Then I feel guilty because I'm not using my time effectively. I just feel totally hopeless with nowhere to go.

On top of this I've been sent text messages saying he's covid +ve but the hospital say that was a clerical error yet according to DHHS I have to stay in isolation as a close contact until they fix the error but the hospital staff are asking me to come in to bring things my hsb needs. The negative feelings and confusion and feeeling overwhelmed are destroying me.

[demonblaster]

Hi Elizabeth good to see you and no need to ever worry about not replying earlier. We get it and just want you to post when you feel up to it. You certainly have so much on your plate the last thing you need is feeling any sort of obligation to post.

Must have been a good comfort for you both your dear hubby having a good spell for a while.

Poor soul he's got a really hard frightening illness from what I've heard which would be so hard for you both.

That's a tricky one re the respite nurses, you're a considerate thoughtful person. They'd understand your situation I sincerely hope and if they know youre in desperate need of respite as you are poor lady geez I feel for you but glad you have that opportunity this or similar situations might crop up at times for them which they can work around. For your sake in this instance easy to say but I'd try not to take that on board you have so much else to try to organise.

Geez a relief covids not an issue must've been quite a shock.

Elizabeth could someone else take hubbies things to the hospital or a courier maybe.

Could an option be the hospital communicate with the home nurses.

You possibly/probably know having worked in the medical field that social workers can make a lot happen, maybe if not already that could be an avenue to explore.

Always here good lady in virtual spirit wishing the best always for you both.

I really hope youre able to get the rest you desparately need to charge those batteries.

Take care hun ☺

⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks for your reply. I really appreciate your support.

Hsb starting to improve but have had a lot of appointments following his discharge trying to manage his condition as best as we could. I am feeling exhausted and unmotivated. The stress has really affected me.I am just overwhelmed..

[demonblaster]

You're very welcome Elizabeth i feel so sorry you're struggling so much. I was wondering and hoping you got some good rest with the recent break but it sounds like you need a lot more you poor thing.

It's good hubbies showing some improvement that must be such a relief for you both. So hard for youse as you know eh 🤗

I hope you're able to get some decent sleeps dear lady you both have so much going on.

It's terribly hard feeling so depleted. That in time can change darl I really hope it does sooner than later.

You're a good lady doing really hard yards.

Hold on hun.

Thanks for checking in ☺

Care and thoughts⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

I'm still struggling. My psych told me if I don't get a decent break soon I will have a total breakdown. I feel very close to it. It is such an effort to do simple things and small things send my spiralling down into a very bad place. I realise my only hope is to have a complete break to start to recuperate which my psych keeps telling me. Unfortunately achieving this feels impossible. I had arranged respite for this week but had to cancel because of appointments which seem never ending. I seem to try arranging things and then having to change to fit in with all the health professionals involved. I'm trying not to think about results of his upcoming surgery because it is too scary.I am at rock bottom

[demonblaster]

Dear lady 🤗 this is a heartfelt warm hug

How you're feeling and have been for such a long time is such a terrible way to be.

My heart truly goes out to you both 💗

I sincerely hope you're able to get the time you need to replenish through lack of a better word in the not too distant future.

You're doing it so hard poor lady. You have a lot of stamina which for sure you're so depleted and desparately need that break. Seeing that you just keep pushing on says a great deal about you're dedication to your hubby which is geez how to say it ... you're an amazing lady.

You're in my thoughts hun truth

Every best wish and hope for you Elizabeth always ☺

⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

My hsb went to hospital yesterday for the surgery but 5.30pm the nurse rang to say they were sending him home because the previous person's surgery went too long so there was no time left. Need to ring on Monday to see when they can reschedule. I can't see how I'm going to manage. I keep getting more and more things to do and constant juggling all the commitments. I can't keep going