Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Dools & Paul,

As I said to Croix, Broken records re scratchy & hard to understand. A record on fast rotation repeats an important message for me so thanks Paul. My psychologist is good but has had a some time off due to illness, conferences & holidays so visits have sometimes been further apart than ideal. I will see him tomorrow. My GP doesn't really know much as I haven't spoken to her about MH issues much except to get the referral to the psychiatrist renewed & then it was brief. She is aware of my husband's issues.

Today was a bit better. Someone from church took me out for a few hours. We went to a couple of parks in the Dandenongs & walked about, It wa nice to have company to distract me. It made a change not having to drive or to watch out for overhanging branches or read signs to my husband. I needed that break from my own thoughts. My husband seemed a bit brighter & wanted to come home tomorrow. This will depend on how he goes overnight & they want him checked by someone from another facility. I'm unsure how things will go once he is home because he is so weak. He isn't eating by mouth & not having much through the tube so it will take time for me to adjust to his needs. .

[Doolhof]

Dear Elizabeth,

Sorry I don't recall all you have written previously, is it possible for you to get some assistance in the home when your husband returns? Is there someone like a District Nurse who can come in and check on your husband's health? Can the hospital suggest anything to you or maybe your Dr?

It is wonderful you were able to have that outing with the person from Church, that is lovely! One of my Uncle's is legally blind, I don't see him very often. When I last saw him, he was telling me how amazed he is with his dog's ability to lead him safely.

Dear Elizabeth, wishing you and your husband well. Huge hugs from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Dools, When I asked the hospital if help was available I was told no. He has me to do all the cooking housework etc & I can supervise him showering & dressing until he improves!!! No social worker has contacted me although a request was made. I rang the Carer Gateway run by the government. They suggested contacting the NDIS to see if that could be sped up but there is no way of ensuring that happens. I've had no reply from the NDIS.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeht~

I was wondering how things are going, yesterday you mentioned a possibility your husband might be discharged. Feeding by tube sounds a pretty difficult thing to do.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

I picked up my husband this afternoon. He is a lot better than he was but extremely weak & tired & relient of very heavy painkillers. I feel quite overwhelmed. Just going through the medications was confronting as there are so many including a couple of liquid ones which have to be measured accurately because of risk of overdose which is life threatening. I need to set up the tube feeding which isn't hard but it is another job to do. I think it is mentally challanging knowing he is dependent on me remembering to give him medications on time & encouraging him to feed sufficiently & working out how much to encourage him to do without overtiring him. I should be intelligent to cope but I just couldn't get my head round the huge list of new & dangerous medications. Because he can't see he can't even do it himself.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'm more than sure you will get it all perfect, you are a very capable person.

Now I'm sure you have thought of this but I'll mention it anyway, using pill organizers (rows of boxes you pre-load with medications for different items of the day) might be of help. It has the advantage you can sort most of it out when you are fresh. I do my own, a friend actually has them made up by the pharmacy (called Webster Packaging).

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

Sending you some encouragement and best wishes. The tablet organisers are a great idea if you don't have that system already. Chemist would probably sell them as do some cheap shops strangely enough.

As difficult as this time is for you, please make time for yourself as well. I know that may seem hard right now, even if it is reading for half an hour or colouring, having a cuppa in the garden, just something to make time for yourself.

Wishing you well on this new journey.

Cheers from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Dools & Croix.

Some of the medications are liquid so have to be measured at the time of administering. The majority of new tablets are painkillers or taken to manage side effects of painkillers. We need to be slowly reducing the painkillers but unsure how that will go. This means putting the tablets into an organizer won't work. Some tablets interact so need to be spaced 30min apart. Others have to be taken before feeds. I think I will draw up a table on my computer so I can mark off when I give him things & how much so I can keep track.

I felt very anxious last night. Too many decisions to make & knowing it is essential I do things correctly so the pain is managed adequately & he gets enough food. Today unsure whether to encourage him to get up so he can feed or should he get more rest now is has painkillers. Dreading helping him in shower as he will find it hard to step into shower & can't bend down to wash or dry himself. I helped him in hospital & found it impossible to help without hurting him when touching him even gently.

I need something to look forward to to get through difficult times but I don't have this.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

You sound on top of things, the idea of the drug use chart is an excellent one. I've found at times I'm unsure what I've taken, and a record is most necessary. For me that's the empty time-slot in the dispenser, four you the chart.

When on painkillers I've not so much needed to rest as been a little clumsier. So getting him up might be difficult at times. As for the shower, perhaps sometimes a sponge bath instead?

I know, trying to suggest things you have already thought of:)

So what are you doing for your time-out? Does not have to be huge or dramatic, just something?

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix, He is tired due to disrupted sleep due to pain since the injury, medications & lack of nutrition. His weight has dropped so managing his feeds is important. He's still not getting enough as he is having to feed so slowly to cope with the resultant pain & other issues & then he needs a break. He prefers a shower & it is no harder than a sponge bath for me.

I have managed doing the essential things but feel depressed. It is the emotional toll having to watch him & ensure he has everything on time. I'm going to try to attend a walk for carers on Friday. I've never done this before & unsure how I'll go getting everything done on time so I can leave my husband for a couple of hours.

My mood was OK yesterday until I picked up my husband & came home but since then I've really felt down more than the situation warrants.