Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

You are having a very stressful and worrying time, your plans for the birthday are derailed, your husband's condition an unknown plus simple fatigue has hit too.

I think you did a marvelous job looking after your grandson and a trip to the park sounds as if it was quite a success. It will at least have got you out. It's a great feeling when they are well behaved.

Motivation at present will be on the back-burner, how could it not be at the moment. Having no energy is not being lazy, it is the limitations of the body making themselves known in both body and mind.

At the moment the enquiries about your husband will seem repetitive and a strain. I'm sure people are genuine in asking after you too, even if their main focus is on your husband. I don't think you realize what a main-stay to them all you are.

Hang in there

Croix

[Doolhof]

Hi dear Elizabeth,

Hopefully the Drs will come up with some answers soon. How would it go if you told people you are struggling when they ask you? I know I have done that! Some people actually stop, look at me and consider what I have said and than ask how they can help.

It can be so easy for us to say "Oh I am fine thanks" when in fact we are nowhere near being "FINE".

The trip to the park sounded like a great way to release some of the grand son's energy. Reminded me of when I worked in Outside School Hours Care. One of the girls took off out the centre and the boss told me to run after her. Me, a crook back and all trying to run down the street and catch up with a 12 year old!

I don't think so! I did try. Then I yelled out to her, asked her if she could please stop because I was an old woman and could never catch up with her. She did stop, turned around, looked at me collapsed on the footpath and started laughing. We had a good chat and a slow walk back to the centre.

Hey Elizabeth, I agree with everything that Croix has said. Hope you can take it easy on yourself dear precious lady!

Cheers to you and hugs too if you would like some, from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Dools & Croix. It really helps having you listen & share your kind thoughtful words. I really like your story about the 12 year old girl. We do need to sometimes make a fool of ourselves admitting our weaknesses. I hate to think what my grandson will be like by the time he's 12. No one will keep up with him. He is only 6.

[white knight]

Hi Elizabeth

I'm sorry to hear about hubby bein in hospital. I hope he is ok.

I care about you.

Tony WK

[Doolhof]

Hi Elizabeth,

I was hoping to add a little humour to your day with my story!

Having serious stuff happening around us can be tiring. I certainly don't want to minimise what you and your husband are going through, just adding a little light heartedness.

Hopefully your Grandson is watching the Commonwealth Games, he may be encouraged to be an athlete of some kind. If he has all that energy, it may be great if it can be channelled into some kind of sport!

All the best from Dools xxx

[Elizabeth CP]

I doubt if my grandson sees the Commonwealth Games. There's no skiing or snowboarding so my son would never watch it!!!.My grandson rides his bike for several km. His dad has to ride to keep up.

Thanks Dools & Tony, I appreciate your thoughts.& Dools humour!!!

My husband is starting to improve. Still don't know what causes the pain but they suspect the breathing problems was aspiration pneumonia based on the symptoms. Unfortunately my son rang to say he was very unwell. I suggested he rang the CAT team for help but he rang back to say they want him to go to hospital & wanted me to babysit while his wife took him. I can't spend time with my husband & babysit. I feel bad for not helping but I can't do everything. They also want me to babysit next week while they move. The thought is making me really stressed. I believe the move will be bad for my son as he will be away from all his supports & last time he lived in that area he was unable to get work & ended up in and out of psych hospitals the whole time. He only improved after moving back close to friends & work opportunities.I don't know how to help him without putting myself & my husband at risk.

[quirkywords]

Elizabeth,

I have been catching up with your thread and I feel for you as you have a lot to deal with. It is hard with adult children wanting to help but also having to look after yourself.

I am thinking of you and your husband .

Quirky

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Quirky My husband came home yesterday but is still very weak & tired which means I have to really watch him to ensure we don't have a relapse. Knowing that he remains at risk of similar problems in the future & they could lead to him dying is scary. His condition is rarer so it is impossible to get accurate advice to help me manage him. I feel like I'm trying to guess what is best & then making suggestions to the doctors as they are also guessing a lot.

It is good to have him home because it means he is better than he was but my mind keeps going over what if? what will happen next? Will he get back to normal What should I be doing to help. Am I doing too much or too little etc.

[Doolhof]

Dear Elizabeth,

You have so much on our plate at the moment.

Just want you to know I am thinking of you and your husband and really do wish I could send you some of your favourite flowers.

I would also love to be able to send you a cook and cleaner so you can just sit with your husband and a child minder for your grandson, one with a lot of energy!

I'd like to send an Angel to watch over you all, including your son.

Hugs to you from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Dools, My energetic grandson will be back at school next week so shouldn't need to babysit him. At least I only had him as he's fine on his own but a handful with his younger brother who goes to childcare. Together they egg each other on. I've got the main areas relatively clean & tidy & it seems more moivating to cook for two than on my own. Still need to be careful what I feed him. Need enough to give him energy but I have to be careful not to give him too much or the wrong food otherwise he could choke.

My son took Friday off to loo after his son & he came around for a while to help with some gardening. Much appreciated as all the weeds & dead stuff from the heat looked so ugly & the soil has baked hard so it is hard to weed. It rained today so instead of cut flowers for my house I think I'll have a lovely flowering plant to fill up a bare space. Maybe a nice passionfruit to grown on the trellis which is now bare. Of course since yoy are sending it it will be automatically planted, watered & looked after so it will grow quickly to produce lovely flowers & fruit.

The Angel can concentrate on my son & help him get the strength he needs to recover & then to stand up for himself so his needs are met so he can remain well.

Thank you Dools for my plant & the angel It has been nice to imagine them both