Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[PamelaR]

Hello Elizabeth

I know what you mean about trying to explain something complex in 10 minutes. I often try to book a 20 minute session when I want to talk about my MH issues. Not sure if you have the ability to do that or if you get charged too much.

It's never easy to make changes and takes time. Changes won't happen over night or even a month. It is a long and involved process. Overtime, you will find the views of yourself will improve. Be kind to yourself for starters. That's a beginning. Make a plan for yourself perhaps to achieve something simple by the end of the year. For example, I will no longer get annoyed with myself for not putting out the rubbish at the right time. Start simple and as you achieve something, increase the challenge.

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Tonight I took it easy on myself instead of beating myself up over a mistake.

I told my husband I would cook the vegetables for dinner while he cooked the meat. A bit later on their was a terrible smell coming from the steaming vegetables and supposedly boiling vegetables! I had forgotten to put water in the saucepan!

I'm telling you, smoking potatoes and steamed vegies above cinder are not very pleasant at all.

Tonight we had meat with frozen peas zapped in the microwave. The vegies ended up out in the garden! At least they will help to fertilise the soil!

I was a little disappointed at my mistake but didn't have a meltdown over it! Progress!!

A few deep breathes and acceptance that mistakes happen saved the day! As did the frozen peas! Ha. Ha.

Cheers all from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

I'm glad you were able to accept your mistake & knowing you you will be soon sharing funny stories about it to make everyone laugh.Good on you Dools.

[PamelaR]

Hi everyone

So good Dools!! I've done that so many times. Easy to do.

Also Elizabeth - good to see you laugh!

[Elizabeth CP]

I still struggle to accept my MH issues. It is OK to discuss them with my psychiatrist & psychologist because they understand & are trying to help but I don't like talking about it with others. I prefer to just stick to the physical health issues with my GP.

Part of the problem is some very bad experiences when my son became MI several years ago. The treatment made things worse instead of better & the more he saw psych etc the more entrenched the illness became. Some of the treatment was shocking. The medication triggered psychosis which is ongoing as well as the side effects such as weight gain tiredness etc making it harder for him to get back on track. ECT has attected his memory. At one point he was sent to a country hospital away from everyone he knew & then when discharged was told he could only have follow up if he moved to another country town away from his family. He decided to come home & went off all meds because 'if they weren't providing support he must be well enough to need no treatment' This led to a very scary period as he battled with severe depression made worse by the effects of suddenly stopping meds. Eventually he got through it with my support & without the side effects from the meds managed to gradually start working. Unfortunately his marriage has led to further MH problems & it is difficult for me to support him when his wife undermines everything.

I guess I am afraid of being labeled like my son was and forced to take medications which make me worse. I try to pretend to the world that I am fine.

[Ggrand]

Hello Elizabeth,

I also keep my MH from everyone, The only people who know about it is here on the forums, my Dr, Psych, I did tell one of my children but this has since changed our relationship, I think that he couldn't accept it and now doesn't know how to talk to me, I think he is afraid of saying /doing the wrong thing, My other two children I haven't told and don't think I will. Work is hard to hide it from the workers but I think they kind of know because I have melted down at work on a few occasions. I suppose I have to accept it but I feel no one else needs to know.

Your son went through a lot of therapy, treatment but it didn't work, I'm pleased you had the insight to help him heal. It's a shame that his wife can't sit down with you and discuss ways of helping your son. Which I feel is important.

I really hope your son continues to listen to your suggestions and continues to heal.

Kind thought,

Karen..../Grandy.

[PamelaR]

Hello Elizabeth (wave to Grandy)

Yeah, I know what you mean about not talking to others about your MH problems. I don't really, only on a need to know basis, e.g. if I've had a meltdown or in a panic. I need to explain my behaviour. Of course, I'm always selective who I disclose to. So it is hard and I do understand how you are both reluctant to not discuss your MI with others.

So sorry to hear about your son Elizabeth. You sound a very strong person to support him while you yourself are not feeling the best. It must be very hard for you at times to do this. Have you spoken with your psych about your concerns for being labelled and your fear of being made to take medication you don't want?

Sending you virtual hugs Elizabeth.

PamelaR

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

As you can see you are not alone in keeping things way from MH issues with your GP. I too am the same. Due to GP 'turnover' the current one is most competent but was not around when I first became ill. I leave my MH matters strictly to my psychiatrist. My GP is aware of this and for me it is a good arrangement.

Over time I've formed the impression you are a strong and able person and think that being labelled and forced to take medication or be admitted is simply not an issue. You are in control and quite capable of dealing with medical professionals in such a manner the problem never arises.

I'm sorry you are saddled with your DIL, a very difficult situation, frustrating and worrying. Having to hold yourself back for your son's sake must be particularly hard.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Croix & Pamela. My psych has accepted that I don't want to take medications because of the side effects. There are times when the stress I'm under combined with tiredness tips me over into a state were I'm really worried about breaking down completely. I can't afford to let that happen but I'm not always effective at managing.

I am worried about what to do to help my son now his wife is back. We have a family camp for Easter & last year a number of family members became upset re my DIL's attitude & treatment of my son. People are still complaining about her which makes it hard for me to cope

[PamelaR]

Hiya Elizabeth (wave to Croix)

Would love to see you both pop into this week's event under the Social threads - put in weetbix in the search bar.

Ohhhhh Elizabeth what is it that make people think that mother's are so responsible for everything? Your son's and DIL relationship are ultimately their business? Do you agree? I know he has MI, but for me that oughtn't disempower him. Making mistakes, doing wrong are part of life. People putting the DIL's behaviour on to you, for me, isn't right. For me, you are neither responsible for her behaviour as you are not for your son's.

This weekend will be difficult for you. The solution would be - to not go! Let them work it out. Do something to make you feel happy and content. Be kind to yourself. Being honest to yourself is so important.

Please pop into the party. Would be lovely to see you Elizabeth.

Hello Croix, I also know about not giving all details to the GP. Actually my GP doesn't question to far. I'm so lucky, we just go through the process of answering the questions, then he makes a referral to my psychologist. We always talk about any physical ailments that need addressing. But mostly my are my mind.

Also, would like to see you at the party to Croix.

I know the party is a bit out there. However, I think people on the forums do need to get out of themselves - to have some fun and to try to forget their issues. I see it may seem silly for some, however, it helps a lot too for some of us.

Kind regards

PamelaR