Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Guest_1055]

Hi dear Elizabeth,

Such a loving wife you are. I read your post and I am thinking if you.

Just wondering would all these tests bring more of a quality to your husbands life. I know he has a rare condition. Just wondering is all. No pressure to answer if you don't want to though.

Much care to you Elizabeth

[Elizabeth CP]

These tests and surgeries are really important. One surgery he has been asking for help for several years so when he finally saw the surgeon in July he was very happy to be offered the chance of surgery to hopefully address some of the issues which had really bothered him for so long. The Covid outbreak meant that surgery was postponed. Still don't know when it will happen. Another specialist has been seeing him nearly 10 yrs and has arranged many tests and procedures and surgeries to manage his condition. The problems he deals with are potentially life threatening and comp;ications have led to a number of long hospital admissions. Ongoing deteriration has put my hsb at risk of serious problems and means I live in constant fear of problems. Unfortunately there isn't a simple solution hence the need for all the tests to ensure the right treatment is given. A different specialis we spoke to on Friday was to discuss another complication which is causing my hsb a lot of distress and leaving him constantly exhausted. Unfortunately before a solution can n

be found he needs more tests to find out the cause. Apart from that some routine tests by the GP showed up a problem which requres further tests to rule out a serious problem but my hsb;s condition make the test much more risky hence his specialist has asked for it to be done in a tetiary hospital in case of complications.

In answer to your question these tests are important to hopeful max hsb quality of life but of course nothing is guaranteed and the process is VERY stressful.

The ongoing stress of caring, dealling with covid and restrictions , and the ongoing pain in my hand which has not been treated properly because of the restrictions in hospital /health care due to covid. This stress has really affected my MH so I no longer function how I would normally. I overreact to minor things. This is affecting my ability to care for my hsb properly.I asked my psych the other day what he thought and he agreed that he had never known me as bad as I am lately. Before I cold have bad periods but get myself back on track but this year I just keep getting worse and don.t have the fight to get back on track. It feels hopeless.

[Guest_1055]

Oh Elizabeth, I really do wish I could help you. I can see you are struggling there. I have no other words, only that I care about you.

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Elizabeth and everyone ☺

Gee you guys have such hard times I feel very sorry for you both having so much to deal with.

It's no wonder you're feeling at the end of your tether you poor lady. Clearly you do your best for your poor hubby. It must be very frustrating with so many delays tests and of course a constant worry you poor good soul.

It's ok honestly Elizabeth take your time with replies. We get it hun. It's hard to talk about what's happening at times. Just when and if you're up to ☺

Here's a little pretty colourful mind distraction for some pump from good chemicals.

Picture a section of a garden bursting with colourful different flowers sizes and shapes..
See an orange one...take your time noticing everything about it..
Yellow
Red
Purple
Blue
White
Pink

And around the edges some gorgeous soft Green grass with tiny Violet orchid type shapes ...

Candles... the small flames gently swaying with a cool refreshing breeze washing over your face and through your hair...carrying stress away....bringing light into your soul...Breathe deeply and admire this amazing burst of beauty...pop that into your memory darl...

Dear lady you're a very strong person doing as much as you can in very hard circumstances.

Only the best wishes for you and your dear hubby ⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you Shell & DB, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I'm struggling with extreme tiredness. My psych wants me to take ADs but I'm sure I've tried the ones he prescribed but I don't have anything written to confirm. I'm petrified of trying them as I've had such bad reactions in the past with each one I tried. Although I've tried doing some things which normally help lift me I'm just so tired that I feel even tireder after instead of better. I don't know how to keep going.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Elizabeth CP,

We re sorry to hear you are struggling. The community will be here to listen and chat with you. You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14 if you need some further support.

If, however, you feel unsafe this is an emergency and you need to call 000 (triple zero).

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

It's ages since I've caught up with you and am sad to see you have so much on your plate.

I think DB may have the right idea at the moment, talking of the problems is a way of reminding you of each and every one -who needs it.

Before I go on I'll mention if you doctor does not know what you have been prescribed maybe like me your pharmacy keeps records going all the way back since they became computerized, I have in the past asked mine if I've used a particular med and they have been able to answer -don't know if that fits your circumstances.

Anyway - Trying to imagine something (or do something) that is way out and even relaxing, or at least attention grabbing in a nice way can give just a squeak of mental respite.

I may have written this to you before, no harm in picturing it again if you can - or something of your own of course. Try to relax with eyes closed and picture ...

At bad times sometimes I put my mind in another place, one from my childhood in Wales, standing on a plateau over a cliff on the side of a mountain, with sheep cropped turf all around, granite boulders peeking though the green.

On three sides is grey seas, whitecaps and blowing spume, windswept and with squalls of rain forming darker patches from the clouds. I can see those squalls coming. They hit me as the wind pushes me around. At the same time a gull wiht wings half folded whizzes past hurled by the wind.

The rain is like the tears that wash away pain. I'm snug -even with a streaming face - as my clothes are dry and warm. It is not a bad feeling, I'm closer to the earth, away from civilization, and the rain and wind remind me. The seas hint of bigger vistas.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thank you DB &Croix. My mind is so full of things to do. If I try to take a break my mind still goes back to the things which need doing. I was trying to do Christmas decs hoping that would take my mind off things but need to clean the decking before I can set up the tree. It is too hard after. Worked for 10min then was too tired to keep going. Tried ahain but got cobweb in my eye and had to stop. Noone at home to help check my eye as my hsb can't see. I don't know if I'm tired because I'm depressed or depressed. Before I felt better if I achieved something. Now I am too exhausted. Yesterday I had to ring around to find a GP to see my hsb because he was struggling too badly to wait for an appointment with normal GP. At least he got treated and fixed that acute problem. Yesterday was also spent with multiple phone calls to hospital to arrange for admission next week for multiple tests and procedures. I need to put together apile of info to send to assist the staff to look after hsb safely. I need to get my mind straight so I can do that effectively. It is too important to mess up. I enjoyed your description of Wales. My aunt married a Welshman and lived in Snowdonia. There is something special there. It is wild and rugged and beautiful.

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Elizabeth Croixy and everyone ☺

So much going on eh darl.

I think depression and sleep deprivation work together. Because we're worried anxious or depressed our minds are focusing on the causes in turn rising stress levels which makes for troubled and lack of sleep as you know.

Something that can help with stress is not thinking too much how we feel which sinks us more. Directing that focus on what can be done like what you were saying about needing to be able to concentrate on hubbies hospital needs.

Yes in hard times like this our mind does keep going back to the problems. What you can do is gently acknowledge it and tell yourself you'll think about it later. Repeat process 548 times. Annoying eh but each time even for a few seconds is a different mode of thought away from pain.

I very much hope it goes smoothly in hospital dear people and that some easier living results from hubbies stay. What an ordeal for you both.

Ouch that cobweb wouldn't have been good at all poor thing. If it happens again rinse it which you might have done and away from the nose side of the eye. Hope it's better hun struth.

Darls you did in exhaustion very well getting anything done. You achieved something that seemed like you couldn't. Well done. Ok if it was a small amount which means a bit less to do later.

Just wondering if the GP might know of somewhere that people volunteer help to people in need. Wether they could do some housework/ lawns cooking etc. I did some home visiting and people can shop too.

Depression makes it very difficult to see good or have pleasure. I suggest strongly dear soul don't stop trying or to be thinking of good memories or moments otherwise there's no chance of a spark like our dear Croixy gave about Wales. Great scene and it does sound really nice.

We just got a calendar today from the chemist with gorgeous world scenery. There's many countries that have lovely bright coloured houses. It's one of a few ways of seeing the worlds beauty.

Incidentally just a touch of trivia I find interesting. They use some cobwebs for healing wounds I've heard. Reminded me when you had some in your eye. Bet that didn't feel healing though 😉

You're clearly a very diligent caring loyal soul Elizabeth. You're doing a great job good lady (hand on your shoulder ☺)

I really hope soon your poor exhausted body can give in to a lot of quality sleep.

Wishing you both the best outcomes with care and friendship ⚘

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I haven't replied. Hsb came home from hospital last Friday. He is starting to improve but was really sore tired and couldn't eat properly. He is still up and down a lot at night which is affecting my sleep. Sorry I can't really explain how I'm feeling. I'm too tired.