Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry I can't manage proper individual replies. I appreciated each of you caring messages. It helps to feel someone cares. I spoke to a councellor today and rang nurse on call at their suggestion to get advice. Result I'm now waiting to see a doctor in ED re my arm. The ongoing pain swelling and lack of sleep are making it impossible to do anything to help my MH issues. I feel stupid for not being able to wait a few more days. If i could get some relief maybe I'd be able to cope better and follow my therapists recommendations. I feel guilty for not doing what he suggests. It looks like I have a long wait to be seen

[Elizabeth CP]

Sorry my posts have not been regular as I'm struggling.

My fracture has healed but I was left with ongoing issues with my hand and thumb in particular. Result multiple appointments tests etc & a rollercoaster. I thought after last week seeing a hand therapist I had a plan to work towards with regular exercises ( every 2-3 hrs) so full on but worth it if I improved. I saw a new GP who prescribed meds to assist with sleep & pain. These worked initially but then side effects escalated as it built up in my body. Result painful numb mouth & inability to function or think straight so had to stop meds. Then prescribed something else which can only be taken for short time due to risks associated.

Today saw specialist to get results of a test I had so now know what the problem is. Then back to hand therapist & stuck in splint for 4 weeks to rest thumb totally in hope issue will resolve. Otherwise need surgery. I still have to care for my husband so really upset and depressed. I'm overwhelmed trying to cope with my current limitations & having that extended is the last straw. I have nothing left to look forward to I want to give up.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Elizabeth CP,

We're so sorry to hear how much you've been struggling recently, but we are so glad that you've shown so much strength in reaching out here for support. It sounds like having to cope with these ongoing issues with your hand ontop of everything else that you currently have on your plate must be really overwhelming to deal with. But please know that extra support is always here for you, and we'd urge you to reach out to the caring, friendly counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are always there for you to talk these feelings through, as often as you need during difficult moments like these. 

We are also currently reaching out to you privately as we are worried about you.

Please know that your caring friends here on the forums are all here to help support you during this difficult time. You are an important member of our forums, and we hope that you keep reaching out whenever you feel ready to.

[demonblaster]

Hey there dear Elizabeth Sophie Quirky and readers 👋

Ahh darls you're really doing the hard yards aren't you. poor lady.
It seems life throws us a series of problems often in a cluster.
In time these things we look back on and we've gotten through.

At the time of course it seems never ending doesn't it and change seems impossible.
It does change because time moves us through.

Wow so many complications with your hand. It's very disappointing isn't it.
And struth the side effects sound terrible! Must have been a relief to get off those meds. How awful you poor thing.

Here' hoping the thumb settles without needing an op.

Ah darl I really do hear and understand you feeling you'd like to give up but no matter how hard it is at the moment (atm) remember lovey tomorrow's a new day with new possibilities which might sound yeah right but the thing is hun as you'd no doubt be aware with time comes change which can also be good.
You're certainly well due for some better happenings.

I feel sorry hearing you feel you want to give up.
From vast experience and learning dear Elizabeth the best thing is to not allow any furter thought on that.
It seems the only option I know and it feels like nothing will improve hun but it can.
You'd be surprised at what strength we have to get through.
Depression buries it but it's still there.

To give your mind a break from pain frustration and anguish at a constant although it's hard try to even for a small few seconds think about good times you've had and will again.
Like your walks and time with your sister I know you're close.
Would a chat with her help do you think.

Looking around at our surroundings can be a break too. Focus on a picture ornament colour gives a few seconds of light opposed to the constant sadness.
I use to love hearing of your walks and what you'd seen.
That made you happy.
Memories are a great escape from pain.

Dig deep good lady tell these thoughts on no uncertain terms that they're not an option.

You're well liked Elizabeth I hear how people are with you. Myself included I've always enjoyed reading your posts.

Good people like you deserve happiness and peace.
You'll get through this hun. I've no doubt many times in your life you have and between the hards you've I hope had good times.

Care and support darl ☺

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks DB for your caring reply.

I seem to be unable to get out of this low mood. I have nowhere to turn. My son is away My daughter too busy. My brother is busy with his own problems and I feel I will never see my sister or my youngest 2 children again since they live overseas and there is no chance of borders opening now vaccines rollout has been stopped here. I have nothing left to live for. any attempt to change just fails. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Elizabeth CP,

We can hear that things must be feeling so overwhelming and painful to cope with right now, but we'd urge you not to give up hope, as there's always somewhere to turn to during dark moments like these. We are currently reaching out to you via email to check in with you, as we're worried about your wellbeing.

Please remember that the understanding counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are also available 24/7 to talk things through during moments like these. You never have to keep these feelings bottled up inside, and support is always here for you, Elizabeth.

We hope that chatting with other like-minded friends on the forums will bring you some comfort, as we all care about you and are here to help support you.

[quirkywords]

Elizabeth, I can understand you feel so tired and you can’t budge your low mood.

You don’t feel string but you have dealt with hard times in your life.

sending a hug and kind thoughts.

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Quirky & Sophia.

Sorry I'm not up to typing much. Feeling really drained and hopeless. I can't see any point of trying any more. Nothing helps since most things which help are too difficult. I can't ring anone as I'll make things worse by saying the wrong things

[Sophie_M]

Hey Elizabeth CP,

We're so sorry that you're feeling so hopeless at the moment. We are concerned for your wellbeing and getting in touch with you privately to see if we can help.

Please remember that the understanding counsellors at Lifeline (13 11 14) and the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are also available 24/7 to talk things through during moments like these. 

We hope that the day brings you a little piece of hope. Please remember that our community is here to support you.

[Guest_1055]

You are struggling so much Elizabeth with everything. My heart aches for you. Are you able to hold onto anything that brings you hope, comfort and any sense of happiness. Even if it is just a small bit.

I know it is a challenge when we are wearing the dark glasses. That is how I describe it when things look... well not real good.

I am unsure whether this will help. But can you slowly look at all the photos you have taken of beautiful mountains and views on your hikes, your children when they were little, your cute little grandchildren doing simple things and smiling like little ones do?

Can you look at old wedding photos of you and your husband and remember the feelings and happy emotions you may have felt.

Can you look at a flower? Any will do. And notice, really study the petals. Does it look like someone painted the petals? Does the flower have a scent? Does it feel soft at all?

It may sound weird to actually try to notice beauty around you. And it may sound almost impossible as other circumstances, emotions and physical pain can speak so very loud sometimes. Fading out all that is good in our lives. But I assure you Elizabeth it is all there. The good is there.

You have so many happy adventurous memories with your children when you guys when hiking and such. Beautiful and special ones.

I care Elizabeth. Wish I could ease things for you. I will just leave some beautiful flowers for you here.