Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

[Elizabeth CP]

I haven't been using the forums much apart from a couple of responses to others posts. I stopped as I was too busy & trying to keep up with the forums was becoming too stressful. In September My husband went to Europe which was great although tiring due to the pace of the tour we did. Unfortunately a few days before returning home I fell heavily on concrete steps hurting my right side. I continued on relying on icepacks to manage the pain. I couldn't sleep because of the pain when lying down. The last day I came down with a bad cold which developed into a chest infection later on. The pain eased after 6 weeks & I recovered from the chest infection but have ongoing problems with fatigue & abdominal discomfort. My GP arranged pathology tests. The blood tests are normal but urine isn't. Today I was sent for a ultrasound of kidneys & bladder. Next week I have a gastroscopy & colonoscopy. My stress levels seem to be escalating out of proportion each time I see the GP & get sent for more tests. Prior to my accident my mental health issues were settling down but the last week it is much worse. I have lost my temper a few times in the last week without much provocation. This is not normal for me. I have been on a diet for several months but I am now finding it really hard to stick to it I just want to go & eat food I know will make me feel worse. The diet is a healthy one which I normally find easy to stick to because the food is satisfying.

I just want to get back on track & feel in control of my life & not feel so stressed & down. I also feel guilty for feeling this way because There is no confirmation of a serious illness.

[Guest_1055]

I am sorry about the issues there with your daughter in law and son Elizabeth. That whole issue must pull at your heart a lot.

I would not be much help with your list there, I don't think. But maybe you just need to have a deep look and see which things are the most important and attend to them first or something.

Shellxx

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

You are not negative - more like trapped.

OK, so each of the things you do has good and valid reasons to keep on doing it, yet less time devoted to them overall seems appropriate.

Now you might think me silly but I think you should emulate Alexander (a predecessor with a knotty problem) and simply allot a time every day -a fixed time - to do your thing. 12-5 or some such. Yes I know straight away there will be clashes. I know you are a most determined person, but can you be ruthless enough to make it work?

You need to be around for the long haul!

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix & Shell, I wonder if I should go away for a couple of days to have a complete break. I'm unsure if the break will give me the rest I need so I feel better after or if it will just put extra pressure by reducing time do do things & will I get the rest I need or will I not have enough time to wind down & then have extra things to do packing & unpacking & watching my husband. Obviously going away is not a long term solution.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

I'd guess "not have enough time to wind down & then have extra things to do packing & unpacking & watching my husband"

Going away for a couple of days will probably not hurt, but even if you got some relief you would be returning to the current unsatisfactory status quo. You need a solution that keeps on going. That's why I suggested being strong-minded enough to have 'Elizabeth hours' every day.

Croix

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Elizabeth, (waves back to Croix),

Yes. Take a break away. It sounds like you are way overdue some time out.

I agree with Croix's idea of alloting specific time just for you each day.

Perhaps you can alternate days with hubby's fitness needs until you are back to having some energy. Marriage is all about compromise.

My year 2 daughter told me she had learnt about filling up other people's buckets with kindness. They were also taught it is important to make sure you are receiving kindness as well. Without recieving something yourself your bucket becomes empty and it is hard to give when there is nothing left. You need to refill your bucket.

Kindest thoughts,

Carol

[Elizabeth CP]

My idea of the break was to act like a circuit breaker. A chance to switch of & relax so I have some energy to cope better & hopefully be better able to plan my life so I can manage better long term. Maybe if I can think clearer I can make better decisions to ensure I can both manage life;s demands as well as working out what I should be doing for myself. Just not sure if it will give me enough of a break without putting extra demands on me.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

Um, perhaps you are right, I'd really hope you are, though I can't help feeling it is a softer option than making regular 'me time' which I do think is what is really needed.

I also think Carol's idea of alternating days a pretty good one.

Perhaps a couple of days is not enough because, knowing you, you will spend an awful lot of time in preparations and arrangements.

Just my 2¢'s worth I guess

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Carol & Croix. Fortunately we didn't book anything. My husband isn't good. Saw GP yesterday, tests today & then back Thursday to get results so going away would have been a disaster.Unfortunately doing the kitchen isn't happening as I don't feel confident on my own & my husband shouldn't be lifting anything ATM. My son finished off knocking out the brickwork so I could start but he won't have time to do any more for a couple of weeks. The weather has turned hot & the hot air in the roof cavity pours into the kitchen through the hole in the ceiling so the job is urgent. I don't cope with heat. Having no oven is a pain but I can cope with that for now. The extra visits to GP & radiologists etc aren't helping me. One DIL asked me to babysit last night. I made an excuse not to. Past experience has taught me to be wary of babysitting for her. Tonight my son rang asking me to take his kids to childcare & school tomorrow. I agreed because both him & his wife do help us often when needed & he needed the help tomorrow so I felt I needed to say yes. My psychologist is sick & cancelled appointment which was disappointing as I really need to get some help moving forward. Now have to wait 3 weeks.

[Croix]

Dear Elizabeth~

If not one thing then another. I'm sorry you did not even get a break. I think you wise not to have done that babysitting - It's nice to see you do draw some boundaries:)

On a practical note could your son or somebody else just quickly tack a tarp over the hole? Not pretty but would stop a lot of the hot air coming in.

Hopefully your husband will be OK again soon.

Croix

[Elizabeth CP]

Thanks Croix. Hopefully we get an answer tomorrow re what is wrong with my husband & hopefully what can be done to speed recovery. I suspect it may take some time. Not sure that fitting a tarp will work. When my son is free I would prefer he helped get things fixed properly. Fitting a tarp would be quite fiddly. I need the weather to cool so I can be effective & get as much done as possible so my son can focus on the tasks I can't manage. He is very busy over the next couple of weeks.

I don't cope in hot weather. It triggers PTSD & associated issues. This has been a long term problem.