existential and social anxiety - can you relate?

[swtpotato]

hi everyone,

I was posting on the welcome and orientation section but thought I should move things here as it's more on-topic.

So my mental health story: I have always been really introverted and spacey kinda kid but also very optimistic and idealistic. I grew up being really self-conscious and felt like there was something wrong with me but was pretty good at ignoring it.
I had this bad lsd trip (1.5yrs ago) which blew all of my insecurities way out of proportion. I had all this derealisation and depersonalisation and severe social anxiety which led me to develop IBS and chronic fatigue. I was obsessed with the concept of identity and meaning and thought it was impossible to truly connect with other people.

[startingnew]

Hi M

I sorry i havent been around as much as id have like to have beeb. Been in hospital for almost 3 weeks. I see pepper has been here. The gem she is! I know you wouldve been taken care of

Iam back now and caught up on your thread and all i can say is wow! You have accomplished ao much. Sure ups and downs but here u stand grabbing liafe the horns and saying nope im in charge thanks.

Wel done!!

[startingnew]

Oops that should say grabbing life by the horns!

[Peppermintbach]

Hi m,

Wow, that’s so incredible. Go you, fantastic stuff. A round of applause...

You sound calmer and more empowered. Lol. I seem to be using that a word a lot today but I do mean it.

I’m so glad things are settling and you’re able to approach situations with fresh eyes. I get the impression you’re growing in confidence in your ability to overcome challenges and problem solve because as you said, hey, they tend to be generally manageable.

Your psych sounds like a wonderful support for you and “gets” you. Great rapport and all that. I suppose sometimes having that therpeauric space to speak without a filter is very freeing and healing.

Happy for you 🙂

Pepper xoxo

[swtpotato]

Hey sn,

I’ve been following your thread a bit just to check if you’re ok - I know it’s been very rough but I’m glad you were safe in the hospital for a bit and I also love how you are focusing on doing your room up sounds like something I would do - designing a room right makes such a difference!

Thanks!! I’ve been trying to take charge and work out friendships this week and I think it’s gone pretty well. It’s a bit weird how ‘muted’ things are with meds but wayyyyyyy better than alternative aha.

I kinda realised I’ve been avoiding getting real into socialising though when I had a few opportunities. I’ve done heaps by myself but I guess that’s my comfort zone. But hey I can’t do it all in a week after all.

Thanks pep!!

Yeah I think my sense of self has become much more stable and grounded. I’ve started trusting myself again.

Theres plenty of things I’m scared of I just have to remember to keep things in perspective and take things one at a time - and resist the urge to compare myself to others.

I’m still really lonely though, I guess in a more regular way rather than the very painful depressed way. I like you guys a lot so I think I’ll stick around, esp so I don’t start to expect too much from others again (something I do which has contributed to a lot of my problems)

I’ve learned that I need to work on clearly expressing needs and emotions in a more logical way, that maturity is in responsibility, knowing yourself and expressing yourself cleary - nothing to do with personality, education, life stage/experiences etc.

i guess I’m trying to embrace adult me which is mostly childish me who can pay bills on time and communicate (for e.g)

still working on being ok with my appearance/behaviour in settings with people my age I don’t know.

One goal of summer: find some guys to flirt with lol

also! Big achievement today: I went for a run!! Went as far as I would have pre illness (last time I tried to run I made it about 30m then crashed)

thanks guys

m

[Peppermintbach]

Hi m,

That is all pretty incredible especially how you’re trusting yourself again. I feel as though self-trust is something many people struggle with on and off throughout their live so it really is great how you’re trusting yourself again.

I’m glad that the loneliness is less painful than what it once was...I guess it’s hard to reconcile expectations with what others are capable of giving at times.

But excellent point about the importance of communication. I feel half the battle lies in how the message is delivered. Although I think this is something many of us struggle with...i find if we look around, there are very few people who are truly good communicators. Communication is one of those tricky things in my opinion...

I hope you achieve your summer goal 🙂 Lol.

Thinking of you.

pepper xoxo

[startingnew]

Hey M sorry i missed this yesterday! I do apologise

Your achieving heaps of things! WTG. Despite your moods your still giving everything a good crack. It certainly seems that your getting some of you anxiety beaten. I know you'll have highs and lows etc but the point is you have heaps of progress.

Isuggest that maybe every week you write down yur accomplishments or things tou never thought you could/would do and when things get tough goback there and take a look 🙂

Wel done!

Pepper here has basically summed up everything else 🙂

Ido hope you get your summer goal lol and also go you for running your making me exhausted from even meantioning running hahah

[startingnew]

I wrote a response but its not up yet either that i cancelled will check again later 🙂

[startingnew]

hey M

how are you going? havent seen you around for a while