DEVASTATED

[Falling_Angel]

Hi i havent been on for a while but im at the end of my tether

im sick of ppl assuming things about my life and then actually making me believe they are honest and true& yet they lie straight to my face especially since i put all my trust in them and thats really hard for me and also,especially since its a obvious misunderstanding on the other persons behalf ????????????????

Im confused,angry ,upset and basically plain devaststed. Why why why ??I try soo hard to please those i care about just to have it slapped in my face... I honestly give up ....!!!!!!!!!!! i really dont think im getting the proper support i need atm and then to have someone close to me run me down and not remember anything ive done for them .. thinkng im just a taker (wow) anyway this person means the world to me and i dont know how to go about working out the problem especially if i feel the replies arent honest omg how did i allow myself to get shattered like this or let myself ....!!and all because of a miscontrude overheard conversation that had nothing to do with this person and also was taken the wrong way,without discussing it with me which would have made it all different omg

anyway guess im asking how do i stop the suicidal thoughts thats are currently and have been for a few days consuming my mind ? i now feel like a noone like ive been put in the same catergory this person sees nearly everyone ? it hurts and im just gob smacked

any suggestions if anyone reads this please?? HELP

[Falling_Angel]

im not worried about her reaading my posts its just thats how she found out i knew she was lying to me and that she had been running me down i went into her thread as i was worried about her only to find im part of her problem yet everyday she has been sying different to my face and lives across the rd i will do that actually itll be lots easier thanku Starting new

ill be starting new all over again 😞

[startingnew]

thats ok FA

start again then no one knows who you are

your always welcome to talk to me 🙂

[Falling_Angel]

Starting new THANKYOU......................i feel since she was the one who got me onto BB That now our friendsgip has turned sour that i shouldnt be on here ,since she has been on for nearly 12 months .But my threads never had her in them and when i read what she wrote about me i was sooo shocked im still trying to lift my jaw off the floor just shattered and soo confused we made agreements we would talk to each other if anything was on our minds not going well with the friendship etc just feel sooo stupid for believing her and that we had a great relationship something i havent had in a long time and after this i will never make myself vulnerable again to ANYONE oh well i appreciate you SN thankyou for being one to say youll be there for me

hope your travelling well im not sure i know much about you as the last few days are a bluuur take care

[startingnew]

FA your entitled to be on here just as much as she is. dont doubt that at all!

im ok just been dealing with alot of my SA memeories and another PTSD event, grieving, anxiety and depression. and i not long found a lump which i got checked today which i have to monitor very closely for 2 weeks then get some tests done.

but you dont need to worry about me 🙂 im ok

we are both strong and will recover from our issues 🙂

even if you leave just let me know its you and ill know your story ill still be here for you.

are you able to contact BB and ask them to change your name to something else rather than creating a whole new account?

[Falling_Angel]

OMG SN i just read about your recent friends situatin...i probably did before but was consumed with my own grief so sorry about that , they turn quickly dont they ? i dont understand in why the pretence to begin with or if friends knew it wasnt goin to work they could have let you know nicely !!! WOWIt definately isnt right and you are right its them not US ....... oh well i have my operation tomorrow and then ill be laid up for a few weeks so thatll give her space/privacy to do whatever she wants and i wont have to go out being all wierd as thats how it feelsjust dont want to look out my window as its still sinking in ,how sad thanks SN hope you are ok to x

[startingnew]

good luck with your operation tomorrow. keep in contact though when you can.

ill still be here (heart)

can i ask you a random question?

[Falling_Angel]

sure go for it i can choose to not answer but am interested in what you want to know ? SN ?

[startingnew]

lol FA its nothing bad im just interesting in knowing how old you think i am?

and yes SN is fine 🙂

[startingnew]

and also if your not bothered by her seeing your posts then you can stay on here. you have just as much right as she does to be here.

i quite enjoy talking to you as well 🙂

[Falling_Angel]

Thanks SN ....I'd say your about 20 ?

how old do you think I am? Lol