Challenging unhelpful thoughts

[Doolhof]

Who comes up with these terms and phrases like "Unhelpful thoughts" and "sometimes foods" . Why can't we just say it as it is!

I feel so damned depressed and down right now I don't want to be here any more. My mood is telling me that I need a truck load of Some times food...all the chocolate, mud cake, Tim Tams, Mars Bars, Bounties and Hedgehog slices I can find. That is just for today.

I'm trying to fight this depression. I really am. It has such a hold on me right now it is like wrestling a tiger.

I've just had two weeks in a local hospital where unfortunately the only thing they had to offer for mental health issues was little pills and a glass of water to calm me down, a 5 minute chat with a nurse if she had time, advise to look in a magazine, think happy thoughts, go for a walk out on the locked verandah area, have a cup of tea and see if there is something nice to watch on t.v.

All very helpful ideas if you are mildly depressed, but when you are beyond the unhelpful thoughts and feelings, it was like trying to put a cork in a volcano.

Now I am home and trying not to go crazy. I have been using the phone help lines. One lady recognises me now as soon as she answers and hears my voice!

All I want to do all day is to cry, to scream, to sleep, to take more pills to make the pain and the hours in the day disappear.

This is a horrid way to try to live.

I'm trying to get some fresh air, do a bit of gardening, eat mostly healthy food, plan something pleasant to do each day and all those good things.

This darn depression, the sadness, the dark clouds of misery, the sense of no hope and no point keep hanging around. I wish they would take off and let me have some peace for a while.

I feel like I am running out of energy to keep fighting this. But fight I must. I can't give up. That feels like an option, but I know it is not the way to go.

Next Friday I am seeing a psychologist. An appointment I made way back in November. Hope she has some ideas on how to beat this.

"Unhelpful Thoughts" just doesn't express it enough.

I doubt the moderators would publish the words I would like to use right now to express my depression!

[Doolhof]

Hello dear Croix,

Thanks for your very kind words. Right from the moment the neighbours had their dog, we tried to communicate with them. They actually asked us if the dog was disturbing us, so we said yes she was. The lady turned all nasty and abused us as we were talking to her and her husband over the fence.

Communication has been like that from the beginning. Three years now. I even asked one of the CFS ladies if she would chat with our neighbour and tell her I would be only too happy to have her dog in our garden while I was working out there and weeding.

Tried to contact her for a chat, she texted they had gotten rid of the dog, for two weeks only then the dog came back.

We have contacted the council Dog Officer many times, not sure how many times my husband has. He actually drove for over an hour to catch up with the dog man that is how desperate he was to talk to him. We have done the paper work. The dog disappears for a while then it comes back again.

The dog is a little quieter now! She doesn't bark each time I open a door. Her hearing is amazing. Not sure what the owners have done but it is helping a little.

I've asked my husband to return to his psychologist but he refuses to. He says the dog should be gone. If it wasn't the dog it would be something else I am sure. Mental health issues really do suck big time don't they!

Hopefully the dog will stay quieter than usual, my husband and I will find a sense of peace and life will continue on with a bit more contentment with-in us both.

Cheers from Mrs. D. Thanks Croix, mate.

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D~

Thanks for our patience in answering me, I had to mention all that although I was sure you would have already tried everything on my list.

Do you have other neighbors who feel the same way? I guess if it was me and I had sufficient documentation of incidents I'd put a formal complaint into the council about their lack of effective action.

While your husband may be technically correct in saying the dog should not bark, sadly he's the one causing the big upheavals.

I'm not helping.

I hope you have a peaceful day.

Croix

[Doolhof]

Dear Croix,

Thanks again. The other neighbours have two permanent dogs, a German Shepherd and a Shiatsu cross ball of fluff, and they also foster dogs. The German shepherd barks quite often too, thankfully if I climb over their fence and chat to him, he calms down, then his mates do as well. If he doesn't shut up, I chuck him a stick.

I told the neighbour if she comes home and finds a lot of sticks in her yard, it is because I was trying to find one her dog liked.

If those neighbours are home, they will talk to their dogs or take them inside if they carry on.

The other neighbours down the road have dogs as well. The next closest neighbours are half a kilometre away.

Today I spent some time in the garden. Thankfully it was really windy and quite noisy as the wind howled through the trees. The barking dog was reacting to my presence in the garden, thankfully the wind was blowing her way so drowned out her noise a little.

People may think "what is all the fuss about a barking dog?". Imagine the most annoying noise in the world, one that gets on your nerves, that is what we encounter each time we open a door to our own home and step outside. The dog even barks for no reason we can perceive.

At least there were no snakes in the garden today. There was one run over just outside our driveway yesterday! No it wasn't me who skittled it either.

Yes, we may have to put in a complaint to council about the lack of action being taken. Either that or I will drop "Chill Pills" in my husband's morning cup of tea and in the dog's water as well. Ha. Ha.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Croix]

Dear Mrs D~

Actually I can well imagine the effect. When I first got married and we had a baby both my wife and I discovered we were 'hard wired' to respond to the baby's cry. A little known fact of biology freshly unearthed by us 🙂

Sometimes other sounds have the same effect

All that reminiscing reminds me of cloth nappies, sanitizing fluid and the wash. Um.

Croix

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D,

Just a thought... Do you think the neighbours would mind if you threw a KONG with dog treats in it over the fence for the German Shepherd?

We have a shepherd and he gets bored very easily and barks at cats walking past (used to drive me nuts when he'd wake the baby over a bloody cat). So we give him either raw bones to keep busy or a Kong (they have to chew and move it about to get the treats out). It keeps him occupied until hubby can take him for a run.

Just a thought. Thinking of you Mrs D.

❤ Nat

[Doolhof]

Hi Quercus and All,

Thanks for the thought about the KONG. The German shepherd isn't much of a problem, he likes his sticks, quite often he barks at me for a short time when I approach him in his yard, then he shuts up and accepts a pat and a stick.

I could ask the other neighbours with the bored Kelpie, but don't seem to be able to find a way to communicate with them. I've made several attempts, even posting them a letter to let them know we now have sheep on the property.

I do know where the lady works, maybe I could just happen to run into her at her work place one day...

The birds in the garden this morning out sang the barking of the dog. We had quite a symphony happening out there. All I needed was the nigh time frogs to starting croaking and it would have been an excellent melody.

(Have to look on the bright side right...besides, we still have a home when millions of people around the world don't!)

Cheers from Dools

[Quercus]

Hi Mrs D,

Just wondering how you are holding up? Hope you are enjoying the footy with hubby today and have it up nice and loud so the dogs can't be heard at all.

Thinking of you even if I'm out of advice 😊

❤ Nat

[Guest_3712]

Hi Mrs D

Just letting you know have arrived at temp home for next month as we house hunt- looking at a place tomorrow.

Hows things with you going ? Moving , staying ?? Any changes on the dog / hubby situation.

Hoppe you are holding up ok . This process is so challenging, I desperately need time to just relax and de- stress. This last few months have been so hard.

Hope you are doing ok and your garden is keeping you mellow

Cheers

Stressless

[Doolhof]

Hi Nat, Stressless and anyone else reading,

It is great Stressless that you have made the decision and are now looking for a home. I have no idea from one minute to the next if we are staying or leaving. Hubby is changing his mind so often I have given up trying to understand what he wants. Ha. Ha.

I have requested he makes an appointment with our GP and asks for a referral to a psychiatrist. Hubby thinks he has bipolar, as I may have mentioned, I am thinking more along the lines of Asperger's. It will take 2 weeks to see the Dr. let alone get a referral for a psychiatrist.

I'm heading out into the garden this morning. It is a hot day here, so I will be on the lookout for snakes. Darn things! They scare the daylights out of me, especially when I accidently tread on them or gather up the baby ones in a handful of dead agapanthus leaves!

My husband is working all this morning, so if the dog do bark it won't be such an issue. I can weed in a section of the garden furtherest away from which ever dogs are barking the loudest!

The garden is looking lovely. I have been picking flowers to bring inside. The iris are blooming beautifully this year. Some of the natives look great as well.

Birds are enjoying the flowering gums and we have a swarm of bees that have moved into a dead tree branch. I have some of the windows open and can hear the birds now. Time to head out in the garden.

Cheers all from Dools

[Elizabeth CP]

Look after yourself Dools. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you even though I have no suggestions to make. You seem to be coping as well as possible in difficult circumstances. I hope things work out with your husband getting a diagnosis & more importantly advice for both of you to enable you both to deal with his problems.