Battling the booze
When the black dog bites, many of us reach for a drink. It can ease the pain, help us relax, block out what's going on in our minds. If it's just the odd drink now and then, even one or two a night, there's no harm and maybe even welcome relief. But for some of us, many in fact, literally drowning our sorrows becomes a problem in itself. We drink more and more until the booze takes over, and drinking becomes all we want to do.
That was me for a long time until I finally realised the combination of booze and depression would kill me. If I wanted to live, if I wanted to be able to manage my depression, I had to get sober. I did, nearly five years ago, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
If booze is controlling you and you're not controlling it, this thread is for you. If you want to regain control - get sober or moderate your drinking (which for many is harder than quitting) or if you're worried you are drinking too much, join us here.
On this thread I'll talk about my battle with the booze and offer advice and support to anyone who is struggling. I welcome anyone who's been there or is worried they are going there, to join in. And I hope others now living sober will come here to help our friends who are struggling.
One thing this thread is not is a place to discuss how much a drink or two helps you. It's not an anti-alcohol thread, but it's not a general discussion about alcohol either. It's for people who are genuinely worried about it or who want to control it, and it's a place of celebration (without judgment about drinkers) for those of us who are now living sober.
I hope anyone who's battling the booze will join us.
Hi 5022. Take care of yourself on Chrissy day. Remember, you are never alone with this battle. I had difficult days to start with, but each time I thought about drink, I would think about self damage, damage to my kids (the hurt on their face). My bf was very much there for me, and one thing he said that stays with me. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. That means the urge is always there. It does ease over time, depending on your strength. You can choose to either walk away and keep walking, or you can succumb and keep giving in. If you succumb, we will pick you up, again. I have a job which means drink has no place in my life. I tick every 'dry' day as a victory. If I 'slip', I class it as a mistake or a 'fall'. I have been 'dry' 7 months, not easy, but my determination, plus the knowledge of who I let down is constant. There was also the health factor for me. Good luck for every day. Merry Xmas.
That's great 5022. If it starts getting really hard, go back and read through earlier posts on this thread - there's some helpful stories there. If you've been near a bottleshop and not caved in at this early stage you are doing very well. Go you!
Also hun, myself and other Community Champions will be keeping an eye on the forum on Christmas Day, so if you're struggling, come on here and sing out. I'll be watching this thread.
Hi Kaz. The knowledge I'm not alone in this makes me feel better. The strength comes from the admitting you need help. Before I joined BB, I felt so isolated and alone. Drinking meant I didn't have to face 'alone'. Sobering wasn't an option as I couldn't stand what I had become, but drinking, meant I 'lost' myself. By that I mean I would rather lose days, than face the constant loneliness. I now look forward to every day, and have my life back. There is occasional 'alone' time, but never lonely. Being alone means I choose to listen to music, watch t.v, go for a walk. I have reclaimed my life and going backwards is not an option. Thanks again Kaz, knowing you and Geoff are there is fabulous.