Anxiety issue

[BballJ]

Hi all,

I took abit of convincing myself to join the forums and write in here but just wanted some advice.

in the past two weeks, I have had anxiety spiralling out of control, I am unable to concentrate at work or at home, I continually think of the worst case scenario in anything, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks (heart racing, in shaking, heavy breathing) I haven't slept more than 4 hours each night and during the day I am in a constant stressed state that by 2 pm I am tired as can be, I hate being alone, if I'm driving I feel the need to call someone just so I can get my mind off my anxiety and contanst worry feelings. I have lost my appetite, eating maybe one meal a day simply because I cannot eat. I have tried natural over the counter medicine to try and alleviate the anxiety and calm me down but they don't work.... Does this sound like GAD and should I see a doctor about medication?

thank you in advance for your replies.

Jay

[geoff]

Hi Jay, good to see you back and it's sad to know that you were in such a sad period, and as we always say that counselling and medication are a good option to help you through this dark stage.

It's no different than you helping out with the problems we have.

Great to have you back.

Take care.

Geoff.

[BballJ]

Hi Nat & Geoff,

Thank you both for your replies, Geoff good to see you still on the forums. Hope you're doing well also.

I appreciate your words as well Nat, most defintely do we need to start prioritising ourselves after trying so hard to save others and you are right after posting this status to Facebook, there has been some reach out by a few people but not the ones i thought would be reaching out more. It's ok though, I do understand everyone has their own issues and things to deal with. I don't know if it is worth speaking on social media about mental health issues but you know what if you allowed some people to know my story or even help them. Then I am happy too.

I will get out of this place, I just need to readjust my life, I made a big change last year in terms of my marriage but now one year on, I still feel stuck so I need to make the next move count and towards something. I do miss the CC team as well, I thought I would of lost my badge and being apart of it having not been on for so long. It is nice to see I am still on it. I will drop past and say Hi to everyone on there too.

Thanks again

Jay

[CMF]

Hi Jay,

I'm sorry to hear you haven't received the support you hoped for from family/friends. I can relate. It certainly would have been a rough time with all you had going on. They say that you see who real friends are when times are tough.

It's a new year Jay, we are still hear for you and to still have your CC status shows what a wonderful person you are and that has been recognised.

We want the best for you Jay and are here for you.

cmf x

[Quercus]

Hi Jay and CMF and Geoff and anyone reading too.

Jay you are an awesome CC but you're also a human being with your own mental health concerns to manage. We all take time out to put ourselves first and it is encouraged too. One thing I notice occassionally is that as volunteers sometimes we put pressure on ourselves to be well. We can forget that the forums exist for us too.

People benefit just as much from reading your story and seeing how you reach out and talk when distressed as they do from our replies.

I told someone recently that noone knew how absolutely vital the forums were for me before I even joined or posted. The doctors said I was ok. And at night when I felt like giving up I would read, see myself in what others wrote and remind myself I was not ok and had to try ask again.

It has been a distressing year for you Jay. Your whole life has changed.

I think when we choose to commit to someone it is not a promise taken lightly. So for your marriage to end is something understandably devestating. You are allowed to need support. It makes total sense to me to need to grieve the loss of your relationship, the love you and your wife felt and the plans you once made together.

It IS a devestating change. And it will take time to find your feet and direction again.

I've been unwell again too and hubby and I have had some massive fights. Sometimes I wonder if he is only still here because we have kids and whether he will eventually give up on me. The idea terrifies me. I have never imagined my life without him. I don't know how you are feeling but I can imagine how difficult it must be for you to work out how to start again.

Are you in therapy Jay? Taking your meds and focusing on caring for yourself? As CMF said it is crap that you can't rely on people you thought you could... But how about seeking out other supports Jay?

How are you keeping yourself busy? Work? Study? Hobbies? Projects?

You will eventually find your way again. Please keep writing when you feel able? I think the biggest concern I had when you left was how you often said you felt you needed to support others here to be worthy of sharing your pain. Not the case ok.

Remember Superman? Noone here expects him. You sharing how you feel helps others. And one day when you start to feel hopeful.and stable again we will all benefit too.

Be kind to yourself please?

❤ Nat

[CMF]

Hi Jay,

how's your week going?

cmf x

[CMF]

Hi Jay,

I've been thinking of you last few days. Hope you are doing ok.

Cmf x

[BballJ]

Hi CMF,

i logged on here to post a thread question to the forum and thought I’d check my posts and touched to see you messaged me back in May to see how I was and that you were thinking about me.

i have been battling away every day. Some positive steps forward, some negative steps backwards, I am learning more and more about myself. It takes a long time to work on yourself mentally. I apologise again for not being active on here as much as I used to be. I really hope you can forgive me for that and I hope you and the kids are doing well.

You always manage to cross my mind randomly as I go about my life as well.

[BballJ]

Hi Nat,

thanks for your last reply also. very kind words.

to answer some of your questions, I haven’t been in therapy since 2016, I have never taken meds. These forums have me a new lease on life when I was active every week prior to my marriage ending but it was a cover up to not deal with my own problems. There is so much pain and anger I haven’t dealt with which is what I am doing now. Every day is a chance to shine. I just want to shine everyday. I have made some good choices this year regarding career moves, finally bought a dream car of mine however it’s bandaids over the mental health hole that hangs around.

three simple words however.

I am trying.

hope you’re doing well, Nat.

[Quercus]

Hello Jay,

Such a happy surprise to log on and see you had posted. I think we all feel guilty at times no matter how many times we're reminded it is ok to take all the time you need or even not reply at all.

I like your three words very much. Trying isn't given enough credit. Sometimes I think about how many times a day or a week or a year I brush myself off and keep on trying... And it reminds me I really am quite stubbornly strong. That is a good thing. I'm glad to hear you are trying and doing what you need to for yourself.

Curiously, using the forums as a distraction makes total sense. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has logged on to escape from my own head for a while. It also reminded me of seeing you focusing on helping others and feeling guilty for needing help yourself. It seems very positive that you're caring for yourself too at last.

It's been ups and downs here (this year seems to be more downs) but I'm still plodding along, thanks for asking.

It is lovely to read your update.

❤ Nat

[CMF]

JAY!

Oh wow, I haven't been on for a while and am so happy to hear from you. Please don't feel guilty for not being here as much as you used to and as for forgiveness...no need to ask, i totally understand. i am happy to hear you are concentrating on yourself and yes, a few steps forward, a few steps backward is normal. In time there will be more forward than back but for now you are certainly sounding more positive and i am happy to see that.

Take care Jay

cmf x