Anxiety issue

[BballJ]

Hi all,

I took abit of convincing myself to join the forums and write in here but just wanted some advice.

in the past two weeks, I have had anxiety spiralling out of control, I am unable to concentrate at work or at home, I continually think of the worst case scenario in anything, I wake up in the middle of the night having panic attacks (heart racing, in shaking, heavy breathing) I haven't slept more than 4 hours each night and during the day I am in a constant stressed state that by 2 pm I am tired as can be, I hate being alone, if I'm driving I feel the need to call someone just so I can get my mind off my anxiety and contanst worry feelings. I have lost my appetite, eating maybe one meal a day simply because I cannot eat. I have tried natural over the counter medicine to try and alleviate the anxiety and calm me down but they don't work.... Does this sound like GAD and should I see a doctor about medication?

thank you in advance for your replies.

Jay

[CMF]

Dear Jay,

it is not acceptable for people to take their bad mood out on you. We allow it to happen because we don't like conflict, or we have low self esteem. Sometimes we even find a way to feel empathy for them. the people who treat us this way look for those who they know won't retaliate and so we become the punching bag. I'm so sorry Jay to hear you've been treated like this.

You are a beautiful person Jay, it is others who are not. You allow it to happen because you are too good. Too good for them. I know he feeling of wanting to disappear, be someone else.

For what it's worth, I like the person you are Jay. I'm saddened to hear you feel this any. Sounds like the last few days have been really tough Jay. Have you been going to the gym or doing anything to help ease these feelings?

im worried about you.

cmf x

[CMF]

Jay, you know we are here anytime you want to post. I usually check the threads every day. I worry about you going days on your own, feeling the way you do.

i know you may not feel like being here too much but you know, it's ok to post on your thread only. There is no pressure to reply on anyone else's , just sorry about you.

cmf x

[CMF]

Remember, the way people treat you is a reflection of them, not of you.

taking on others' emotions, that makes you an empath. Does it leave you drained, how do you feel? When you're in a good mood, how do you really feel? I know what you mean by hiding your frustrations. Are you happy and smiley in front of others, so that's when your emotions go up and then you crash when on your own, when you don't have to wear he mask?

[BballJ]

Hi CMF,

Thanks for all your kinds words, they mean so much to me. I agree with you when you say we become punching bags for others purely because it can be low self esteem and let it happen. I have so much empathy for others as well. I do everything I can to see things from their point of view as well just to help them and make them feel better.

I don't think taking on other people's problems drain me at all, it makes me feel wanted and needed so it does help me when listening and taking on others problems but I do tend to keep my problems still bottled up because I would so much rather just be happy and positive and smiling and laughing. I hate being down in front of others, that is something I am working on or need to work on I should say. I crash very quickly when alone but that is for sure.

My best,

Jay

[CMF]

Hi Jay,

I too try to see things from others' point of view but at some at some stage, if we too are struggling, we need people to see things form our point of view. It's not easy to find people who can take but also give, most people are wrapped you in their own lives these days. I too would rather be smiling and laughing but i want to be genuinely smiling and laughing,not always wearing the mask. I relate so much to what you are saying. Smiling and laughing in front of others but then crashing when at home alone.

Do you still see your psych Jay? I am wondering a this could be where you off load to someone, face to face with without feeling like you need to be there for them.

cmf x

[CMF]

Hi Jay,

have you ever read up on releasing negative energy? Someone mentioned it on another great. I'm wondering if it may be useful for you because listening to others' problems all the time can fill you with negativity, even if you don't feel it.

just a thought .

cmf x

[Quercus]

Hi Jay,

CMF makes a rock solid point there. Think of the forums... Give support to receive support.

If you give and give and give and yet others have limited patience and care and time to give you in return that isn't fair or healthy for you.

I read on here once... Do you want an award for being a martyr? An award that will be no use to you when you're burned out or hurt or worse.

It is ok to expect to receive in return. But it is really hard to change when that is what you're used to. I struggle with feeling selfish but I try and remind myself this is the one life I get and I have a right to matter too.

It is hard. I'm used to being a doormat. My needs last. The psychiatrist says it is an ingrained behaviour. Trying to change and demand care made me feel angry and bitter and selfish so I'm trying again. Trying to find a balance of speaking up for my needs and supporting others which is in my nature.

I get what you mean by smiling. I used to smile as a default. Often got asked what I was so happy about. Made people angry "why are you always so bloody happy?". Inside though it was a performance. Keep smiling until the door is closed and noone is watching... Then fall apart.

It's crap though Jay. We're allowed to have emotions just like everyone else.

Right well no real advice there huh just agreeing/empathising with your frustrations I suppose.

One thing I have learned that works though... When people treat you like shit call them on it immediately. It is so hard to do. But when you get the words out it throws them. Just practice. I'm still crap at it but I'm trying.

You deserve better too.

❤ Nat

[CMF]

Hi Jay,

how was your weekend? Did you do much? Been keeping an eye out for you, hope you're ok.

cmf x

[CMF]

Hope you're ok Jay.

cmf x

[CMF]

Thinking of you Jay. Hope you're ok.

cmf x