Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hiya Gorgeous bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies ☺

That was so warming wasn't it from our sweety Peppystar. Hope she loves y/our marshmallows.

How exciting the meditation. Oh Grandy that'd give you somewhere and thing to do and be around nice calm people too. So glad about that. So that'd be your previous ww s back is it? Hope so you really like her. Those singing bowls sound interesting. I haven't heard of them before.

Here is amazing isn't it. I'm so glad you feel good here beautiful because you really are very loved and appreciated. How it should have & always be gorgeous lady 🤗 You make friends easily lovey that must mean you're lovable precious 💗💜

Dear Betty poor lady with a lot of physical probs. I bet you would be missing her honey. Let's hope near future you'll be in touch again face on. You sound like youse have a very good friendship. Love that she was her own person and stood by you.

Good holding up so well hun. You really have come a very long way. Power to you beautiful 😊

Yes I agree if it was sinister you'd think they'd be in touch earlier.

Cursing pain in hip/groin you poor thing. Pain alones hard enough but when it disturbs sleep never good. Wish there was something to help.

Thank you beautiful about the card ☺ I did a tickle more yesterday or before not sure. Yip mostly like it but few hard spots but just have to stick with.

Love you too beautiful Grandy you're a beautiful person and friend. So glad we met and soon became 👩‍❤️‍👩💜

Lysvm yAdimh pubAok honeyheart 💗

👀🤝⚘🌈🌞🍫😍😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and everyone...🤗..

Im really looking forward to Monday..I know a few of them as they donate to the shop at times...talking of the shop..my boss rang me and said it’s going to reopen in a few weeks...I rand Betty and she said she doesn’t think she is going to return...she is waiting for a couple of operations for her carpal tunnel in both wrists...her wrists are really achy with pins and needles and the feel numb....Not sure if I can go back without Betty being their..because I will be moved out to the front permanently...I’m trying not to think about it until the time comes that the shop re-opens...

My Dr. rang me today..my thyroid is enlarged and is pressing on the right side of my wind pipe and narrowing it...Plus I have a nodule which has taken up residence in my thyroid...Blood tests and flue shot next Wednesday then 3 monthly monitoring both the windpipe and nodule...got to make sure noddy nodule doesn’t grow or reproduce more.😂..

I’m doing okay..which feel a relief for me..at least I can put to sleep negative thoughts sometimes...yay me...

The groin/hip pain has me 😢..until the pain relief starts working...I thought maybe to cold at night..so I put a doona on...and woke up with a headache...too hot 🥵..A couple of glasses of cold water fixed the 🤕...easy can get heat stroke in bed if we have too many blankets on because it can be overheating our bodies and while we’re asleep we are not aware of it...

Its good when the air is cold here..I have icy cold water... (bottled water)....without putting it in the fridge..

Oh I’m a fan of both the English and Australian chaser..I’m pleased you like it as well bbff....Maybe We should go on it..I better tell you though..I don’t get many right.🙃..

Love and care dearest bbff..with big huggly huggle 🧸 hugs..pubaok...yadimh always....💜🤗🌹🦋🕊🌱..

Sending my care, love and warm hugs to everyone..💜🦋🤗

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🕊🌱..

[demonblaster]

Heya bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies ☺

So happy for you sweetyheart for Monday. That'll be good knowing a few there too. Good for you huns. Be looking forward to hearing how it goes.

Good girl trying to not think about it till the time comes. It turns out a lot of wasted energy often. That's a shame though Betty not going back poor lady. You'd miss her I know darlin 🤗

😆 Noddy nodule struth Ruth you have a few things going on there. Glad they're keeping an eye on it all. Geesh best of luck with all that huns.

Oh btw I have full sympathy with Betty with her carpal tunnel same here both wrists. It's annoying numbness so often.

Oh Grandz isn't it fantastic putting at least some thoughts to sleep. Very well done.

You poor love with the pain. Good you tried something but not being or getting dehydrated. Yes and apparently more people have dehydration in winter to summer cause they dont drink as much.

Hey that'd be cool us going on the chase. Same I get some but not many. Yes we watch both. Think I prefer the pommy he's a good actor too. Good show.

Love and care to you too beautiful friend. Always in my 🗯 with deep love.

Have a restful pain free geesh I hope darlin sleep.

Go easy sweetyheart we love need respect and care so much about you.

🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫🤝👀🌞👼😍

[Guest_1055]

Hey Grandy and hi everyone Just letting you know I do read in here. Just don't post is all.

May I ask you a question? I am unsure who else to ask. But at the same time I did not want you to feel pressured to answer. So if you don't want to for any reason. It's all cool. And I am also cautious to ask, as I don't want to hurt you with possible bad memories you may have.

This is my question...

I would like to go and visit a person in my life that I care so much about. Recently I have found out that they live with someone that shows signs of narcissism. Other times I have visited there, I pretty much saw his public self only. Only occasionally would I see glimpses of control and not pleasant things. Sort of though he was having a bad day sort of thing.

Anyway I want to visit to say hello, but concerned that if I do the person I care about may be given a hard time after I leave about me visiting. Or I may make things worse. Or maybe my friend would really like it if I visited.

Would you have wanted someone to visit with you back then?

I am feeling a little scared to post this, as I truly don't want to make it sad for you or anything. But I so much wanted to know your thoughts.

In kindness

Shell 💙

[Ggrand]

Hello Shelly....🤗...

Please don’t be afraid to ask me anything you need to...I’m here to help others if I can..

I think their are several forms of narcissism..My husband was 150% narcistic...

Having a friend visit me, she was visiting both..as my husband wouldn’t leave us to talk on our own..he was always their and he always took over the conversation...and I was their to serve coffee, cakes etc..he wanted me out of the room...Him thinking he was Gods gift to women always tried to hook up with them....and if he couldn’t because they were not interested, he tried to to get me to invite them over..My friend/s felt uncomfortable and wouldn’t re-visit..then yes I would cop it because my friend didn’t like him...and it was the topic for conversation over and over again....He never had an affair..because I would never want to join in with it...So I was given the silent treatment sometimes weeks or months....I was useless to him...because I could keep no friends..

He destroyed so many caring friendships for me..I stopped asking them over...He had his friends which visited us a lot and I was a useless %$&@##% because I was scared of what he wanted me to with them,,I locked myself in the bedroom....He was controlling and abusive in absolutely everything I ever done, said, wore, friends..everything...

I think some people have narcissistic tendencies only....and are not like my hubby who was a full on cruel narcissistic person...I feel that some are just controlling..and are okay with visitors to their spouse...etc..

I know that she would love you to visit her..and give her some care and love....maybe ring her up first to check if it’s okay...with her and her partner/hubby....as you’ve visited her before and he was in his public self, seems to me he is not a true narcissistic person...he may just have some narcissistic traits that pop up at times which he can hide from her friends......I feel she will be okay.....In our home he was never his public self..because he was in his domain....and could say and do what he wanted to..

Sorry I rambled on a bit..Not you upsetting or anything..I just had to get it out...

I hope you decide to visit your friend and you both have a good time..

Sending my care, love and hugs to you beautiful Shelly.🦋💜🤗...and your friend..

Grandy..

[Guest_1055]

Thankyou Grandy, I appreciate your advice.

So sorry for what you experienced... Just sorry. 💙

I ended up texting my friend first and then went over to visit. He was not there. And she appreciated the visit. That is what she said.

[Speak Your Truth]

Hi Grandy 👋.
I’m wondering how you are today. You haven’t posted today and I haven’t posted to you for several days, so I hope you don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, cause I absolutely haven’t. No way. 💕 It must be cold where you are so I hope you and your fur babies are warm and comfy and I’m thinking of you with a lovely steaming hot drink and a warm blanket.

I had a visitor for the first time in weeks and weeks and weeks yesterday. She was a young professional woman on her day off, who I met when I had been involved in a community project, quite a few weeks back now of course. She is a lovely person and visited me at her request which was so special. She stayed for two hours and it was obvious to me how unused to socialising I have become with isolation. We had quite a very active conversation and I was exhausted by the time she left.

The movie Florence Foster Jenkins was on tv last night. Do you know that movie ? I saw it when it came out and thought Meryl Streep and Hugh Grant we’re amazing, but I couldn’t watch much of it last night as the singing in it was so awful. If you haven’t seen the movie you won’t know that the singing was meant to be bad. I found the sound of it quite distressing to hear. Overall my memory is that though the movie had its funny side it was also sad.

It’s been overcast, rainy and cold here today so although I haven’t made any move at all in the direction of going out the rain coming and going has made it hard anyway.
Grandy you and lots of other people on the forums somehow manage to find lots of things to write about and I’m in awe of that and to be honest even a little bit intimidated. My life has got sooo painfully quiet with isolation I sometimes feel like my brain is shutting down and so worry that I won’t get back to normal.

that’s all for now Grandy. Warm and caring thoughts about you 🤗😘 Cala

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Cala 🌹..and everyone..

Deebi...my bbff..Like you I like the English version better..more interaction between the contestants and the chasers...

Yesterday I went to Newfie’s from works home..she rang me to have a coffee with her, then a walk...(on walking thread)...This morning I woke up feeling okay..so decided to mow the lawn..yet again..I just finished and feeling really stomach sick, went inside and felt really sweaty, hot and sick..thinking I was going to pass out..I sat down and vomited...Drank some water and layer down...still feeling sick When newbie rang me..I mentioned it to her..She decides to tell me she was the same sick for a week..and got better only the day before my visit....Geez had I known that I would have declined her offer for coffee...Why she didn’t wait at least a week for visitors..I don’t understand why people don’t realise it takes a while for viruses to leave the body and furniture...Never mind it will pass....but yucky for now.....Going to have a cuppa tea and bed soon....I wanted to sit up to see the comet.but I doubt I will..Please take care of you..love you beautiful friend..🤗🦋🌹💜🤗..always and forever...

Cala..It’s nice to see you here...I know sweety that you haven’t forgotten me..You’re doing it hard and need to care for you as much as you can..I’m always sitting next to you and the other beautiful people here...I have so much care to give others...

Im pleased that you had a visit from a young professional lady...on her day off, shows to you just how much she cares for you...I think that’s gold lovely lady...I can understand about loosing the art of conversation..It’s hard to retain it when it’s already hard and now not seeing or talking to people for weeks on end face to face....We will learn it again Cala...

Awe never be intimidated by anyone..especially me..Lots of thread here make me feel that way...I read a lot of threads and wish I was smart enough to join in..Many times I’ll write out a reply then delete it...I think we have to feel comfortable with ourselves to post....You’re Welcome here anytime you feel to be here sweetheart....

Sending everyone my love, care and hugs..🌹🦋💜🤗..You’re all amazing beautiful people, just reminding you in case you forget or beastly (depression) is telling you any different..🌹🕊🌱

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🦄👼..🕊🌱🦄👼..

[demonblaster]

Dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all hiyaz 😊

Vrooom .. screech... vrr...vr... plonk.

Ahh darlin you poor thing that sounds bad geez absolutely she should have waited. Ohh Grandz I hope you recover quickly. We'll 😍 if that's ok stay over till you get better honeyheart. Pfttt.

Oh so pleased the heat on the groin helped gorgeous that even some less pains a bonus. Oh darlin 🤗🗯💜 always

Must be a good feeling having the lawns mowed it sounds such a whopping job. Hope you're feeling better lovey ⚘🌞

Yes I too enjoy the bit of chat and mucking around on the chase. He's a good relaxed funny man isnt he. Some he loses it and laughs. He's a class act. Anns popular isn't she. Good on her.

We didnt know about the comet otherwise could have arranged to put your 🛏 outside under the ✨ and we could all watch together.

You dear darling I don't like you being sick sweetyheart. I remember you saying you're tough, had to be.

Ok my/our beautiful friend who I absolutely adore and always will honey I'll nurse 👩‍🔬...um...oops wrong uniform...you to full health gorgeous ..first up I'd like you to skull this tasty salt water fried weetbix 🎄and Prune drink but don't worry I put garlic and peas in it too... oh oh and Mr Deebi just added some honey 🐝... isn't he the sweety 😂

Ok my precious I'll as always be keeping an 👁on you.

Love you so much beautiful excellent besty bbff. PubAok honeyheart you're incredible 🤗😙

💜🤝👩‍❤️‍👩🍫👼🗯✨👩‍🔬🎄🐝😍👁

[demonblaster]

Ahh there she is .. look at our dear precious sweetyheart all snug and tucked in with her gorgeous furs cuddling up with all your beautiful soft toys cuddling her too.

Lavender bubbles with all those beautiful colours gently popping. Some leave a beautiful aroma of fresh vanilla drifting through the air slowly.

So much love sent to you beautiful 🤗 hoping you've been feeling better today and sleep like a dream of only peace calm and happies.

When you wake there's a perfect temperature cuppa tea sitting there on your bedside table honey with a yum special choccy marshmallow brownie 😲

Always 🗯 and love my/our gorgeous friend. You mean the world. Adore you sss bbff yAdimh lysvm pubAok lovey.

Sweet dreams huns. Sleep well and everyone 🤗

👩‍❤️‍👩💜✨🗯👼🎄🍫🍎🛏😴⚘