Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Amanda,

Thank you for calling in and letting me know you are okay...One major problem I have is, I go into a panicky state when I don't know if the people I care for are safe....So it means a lot that you did this..

Im trying really hard to try to go out of my comfort zone and do things..and it is hard.

My psychologist..yeah...I really don't know yet, I'm still waiting on a phone call from my mhn..I'm thinking because it's so late, nothing can be arranged.😒..

Yes I'm really looking forward to seeing my brother again..Will be a bitter sweet visit...

Amanda please try to take things easy, but at the same time, keep up that strength we all know you have..You're very brave and I just pray that you remain safe and unharmed.....My thoughts are with you..,If you want to talk here, your quite welcome to...🌿.

Kind thoughts..and comforting hugs 🤗.

love

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

The walk was just around my block, not far but I got out..My bursitis has eased off since I started sleeping on the mattress. Thank you Deebi for your care.😚..

Deebi, I'm really totally so over the health system out here...My psych is all booked out until mid September then she can book me in once every 6 weeks..I know what she thinks about me after my last session, and I really can't blame her, to much bad happened..I have no excuse, except I was scared of him..That's really no excuse... . Sorry Deebi, I'll be back later..

[demonblaster]

Oh sweety 🤗 the big long ones.

You're doing really well don't be down on yourself lovey.

From what I understand it wasn't your choice to do things. You were manipulate and controlled.

Love you Grandy 🤗😚💜💚💗👀🤝

[Ggrand]

Hi special Deebi,

Im okay, had a bit of a cry..I need more sleep, not much sleep makes me feel very vulnerable..I will try an early night tonight.... I know Deebi, but it hard to convince me that I had no choice....Thank you Deebi, for coming here and giving me those long hard hugs.🤗..Thank you for saying what you said...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy...

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy and all,

You sound so down...I want to lend you a comforting shoulder for you to cry on. Usually, I lend Butterfly Wings my left shoulder so you can borrow my right shoulder...how does that sound? You can borrow it whenever you feel like crying and want a bit of company...

Your local mental health system does sound very disappointing and lacking. It must be terrible to have to deal with the long waiting periods...

I feel you’re a deeply compassionate and loving person. Sadly, it can go both ways. I feel some people will treat you well because they appreciate those loving qualities in you and respect you (like DB and Mandy here).

But others will use those same traits against you...I’m so sorry that you have not been given the time, respect and care that you so deserve. I feel for you, lovely friend...

Lending you a shoulder to cry on.

Giving out free pillows to help you sleep.

Plus putting some treats in your picnic basket for when you wake up: your very own telescope for star gazing, more blueberry muffins, apple cinnamon muffins, glazed doughnuts, fruit salad, warm porridge, chips, thermos of tea and coffee and choccie bars.

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[smallwolf]

Grandy,

Been reading and following not necessarily posting. Sorry. But if you can remind me about posting on your thread about sleep (maybe) it will remind me. Or this post will. I have to go to GP shortly re blood test results so time is against me.

Sending calming thoughts and restful nights to you,

Tim

[smallwolf]

Grandy,

Reading of problems (timing wise) with psychologist and then sleep. None of which is helpful for the mind. Putting aside help lines, I wonder if there is some way you might to be able to "do things" in between. Someone to have coffee with? Or someone to come over to you? Last night as I was walking home and saw a magical red/orange sky (sunset). Beautiful. The thoughts you would put to the therapist could you put here? Or reading (self-help books)? Some you could read on a tablet. You can borrow some books from a library in digital format. If you don't want to go to the library. But know that regardless of what you do you, I will be around.

On sleep... I might have mentioned this to you before, but, my psychiatrist first told me about a thing they call sleep hygiene. Things like going to sleep at same time each night. Whether or you should drink coffee before bed, warm bath before bed time. And if you cannot get to sleep, get up and do something for 20min and then try to sleep again. On the sheet I got from my psychiatrist it suggested reading the phone book, BECAUSE it is BORING and will help you get to sleep. And of course some kind of meditation. Keep in mind these ideas were given to me because of my sleep problems related to depressions/anxiety and cognitive issues.

Hope some of this helps,

Tim

[Ggrand]

Hello Peppy,

Thank you so much for your lovely post..Thank you for your right shoulder Peppy that is so kind of you, I may take you up on that one day, if Deebi ever gets tired of me...🌹..I really need to toughen up, I keep telling myself I will, but saying yes is an automatic reaction, I do it without even thinking..Then I get upset with me.. One day Peppy I will say no!! and stick to it, instead of backing down...

Your treats are all my favourites..🙃😇..anything sweet is yummy..Thank you..🔭 I can't wait to use my new telescope..🌹🤗..

Thise new pillows I can take one Please, I need sleep so badly, Im sure your new pillow will do the trick...I will use it tonight with Deebi's gorgeous Lavender pillow slip..Love you Deebi..💜

Thank you very much for you care, Peppy I really mean it when I say thank you, it's coming from my heart.🌹💜..

Kind thoughts and special thank you hugs.🤗🤗🌹.

Love and care Peppy. 🍀🤗.

Grandy...

[Ggrand]

Hello Smallwolf,

Its always such a Pleasant surprise when I receive a post from you, thank you very much..I appreciate your insight a lot..

Tim I have one lovely friend in town and will have an occasional coffee/tea, but I cannot talk to her about my issues/problems...She is elderly 75yrs, and has her own problems..she releases hers onto me... I usually love the sunrises, It come up between two mountains directly in front of my home..

Im afraid to put my thoughts on here, they come from a bad place, although the other week I went down with a trigger, and had to release here because I was scared where it took me.... I needed help so bad...Still that trigger is effecting me with sleep.....I have a few self help books and do read a lot online trying to help me....Reading here helps a lot as well... I try my best but sometimes my best doesn't seem good enough...but one day Tim, I'll be better then okay..

Sleep...Before I was triggered, I got around 4-6 hours per night which I could function okay with the next day....Now it's awake every hour or so...I think because I'm on the lounge or eurobed which both are causing bursitis to be painful..I do meditation every night...I will hopefully be able to get to bed soon...

How are you feeling Tim? Have you tried your psych's sleep directions,? Did they work for you?

I want to thank you Tim for your time, kindness, care and great suggestions that you give to me, which really does mean a lot to me..🌹

I hope Tim that you are looking after yourself the best you can, and giving yourself some very special self care that you give to others here. You very much deserve it Tim..

Kind thoughts, and comfy hugs🤗..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Heya Grandy and all ☺

How sweet Peppy leaving pillows ahh you're goin to use the pillowslip that's sweet. Really hope you do sleep better Grandy it really mucks with our minds doesnt it let alone energy.

Hope your day was brighter and were you up to a walk again today? Ok if not, the easiest ways not to put pressure on yourself. How's the glands?

I think Peps left another 🔭 in one of her famous baskets so I can share that one and show youse all the special stars out there. Astronomy yes Peps. I'm on demand 😆

Deebi will NEVER tire of you Grandy 🤗 you might but not moi 🤝 super glue

Did another batch of Pumpkin soup for anyone that'd like some

Have good evenings all

Love you Grandy lady ☺😚💜💑💗🤝👀