Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Grandy, Deebi and All 🤗💖🌸

I’m glad the illness is improving, and the leg/hip/back pain as well. Yes, maybe having a really good rest at home has helped the pain. I hope the cough part goes soon. Coughs are often the thing at the end that persists for a bit aren’t they, but hopefully it will fully ease very soon. Really glad you have your fur girls with you for company and it sounds like they’ve had fun having free range of the house 🐶😀 I totally agree that cleaning and washing can wait until whenever you feel like it. I hope that maybe you’ve been having some nice rests on the verandah, watching DVDs, or whatever brings you peace and comfort.

Keep resting up Grandy and do whatever is soothing and peaceful for you. Lots of hugs to you and pats to your fur girls 🥰

Love and hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I have been reading along despite not posting... you are an important person in my life.

Oh lass you are going through the wars aren't you.  It is good to hear though that you feel you are on the mend.  Coughs can be hard to shake so do try to not overdo things especially as you are asthmatic which I think can make it harder to get the cough to go away.  Perhaps your chemist can give you something to help?.

Laying in bed or on the couch sounds like a perfectly sensible thing if that is what your body is telling you to do.  Don't fret about the housework... my new theory is... it won't run off anywhere... and you can be sure will still be there tomorrow or whenever you decide to notice it.  I have been stressing too much about how limited I am physically & how that impacts me getting things done.   My sister recently reminded me that housework isn't the be all & end all... at our age doing things that make our life easier or that we enjoy is far more important.

Give your furs lots of pats from me... I'm sure they didn't make any mess at all... just look into those big brown puppy eyes & you will know that it must have been the cat 🐱(even if you don't have one)🤣

Is the big gum tree across the road still there?  I remember you were a bit worried the people working there might cut it down.  I do hope it is alright as I know how much you like it.   

 The nights are very chilly here so I imagine they must be getting close to freezing where you are.  Have you seen the moon the last few nights.  As it rises here it looks so bright & has had a golden hue.  It has also had a halo around it when it is higher up, which is so beautiful.  

Big 🐻 hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Hey there Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and all the other lovely peeps here 😃

Ah darlin ugh colds or ? are rough aren't they poor love. Really good hearing you managed to get through well nearly, yeah coughs do seem to linger on don't they which is also hard work esp when trying to rest. It sounds like that helped a lot which must be quite a relief. Must feel like a heavenly dose of freedom being a bit easier with movement. Really good hearing that. 
No doubt you will be but Aunty Deebi has to mention please take it easy to stay pain free apart from the ouch foot dagh not good that one. 

I don't know if it's improving yet but have heard recently about the Dr shortage which is pretty scary aye. 

I do feel for you darlin and anyone else being sick especially living alone it's stressful, but being the champion you are you've come through the worst. Well done hun 😊 Sounds like nurse Grandy 👩‍⚕️ looked after you well.  

Hope work went smoother too. Getting out amongst it hopefully was a lift as well and seeing familiar faces.

Yes agree and love the comments Hi girls 😃💗 about the housework. Very true and that you also sound ok about how things are. It'll happen but there's no hurry

Always love hearing about the pets antics. So much better hearing and not having to deal with their mischief 😁 the dear little loves.

Ok huns better pop off to bed it's getting a bit later than our usual time but wanted to chat to you sweetyheart and give you another loving 🤗 umm...might just stand back a little cause I know you like to share but ....

Love you dear friend. Keep getting better trooper lady.

Nigh nite all. Hope everyones dreams are full of adorable 🍫 and ... 🤔...nah...just choccy 👍

💖💞💫🦄🗯

[demonblaster]

Popping in to put thoughts to paper as such lovely one.

I made a yum slice and put some aside for Deendy ‌‌🐉 she said she'll make sure not to eat it all so that's probs arrived already. Enjoy darlin

Thought we could have a bit of time with any of our lovelies here too on the verandah.

I'm sure we'll have to rug up well knowing how chilly to put it mildly in your neck of the woods.

Maybe we could pull out our fave ‌‌🍷 not that I drink much at all these days which is cool but hard to go past the mmmm's

With luck you're recovered from the bad cold. We're usually run down when we pick up those nasties which wipes us out more trying to get through.

Huns I'm hoping that you're still getting the small but must be a mighty relief & freedom to do the few extra steps without the tremendous pain walking.  

The last I knew is August that you see the specialist. Not that we necessarily want to wish time away but much closer now

Without pressure to reply hun I've been wondering too how you're going mentally. I worry if it's been a while seeing you because as many do, well too many people sadly know it can be hard to post. 

I've experienced and know for you also & heard often which I find helps somewhat is mostly our mh pain passes. Seems like an age at the time. 

SO want you to have light in your life Grandy you're such a lovely person ‌‌ and very easy to love. Wonder if I've mentioned that  🤔

OK so I'm sending you a lovely warm sun ‌‌🌞 I love the light. Fascinating how far it travels. 
I'm going to have a go at throwing it to yours this time cause it looks like Deendy's having a snooze mid air.

I found the sunnies ‌‌😎 in our ‌‌👜 but could only find plastic gloves which are melting on my hands, not a bad thing though the wrinkles aren't showing ‌‌😲

OK look after yourself beautiful friend and y/our gorjy furs.
Yadimh ‌‌‌‌‌‌ ‌‌🤗👀💫🦋💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Eagle Ray, Paws and everyone…..🤗..

Sorry it’s been a while since I’ve posted….

I really haven’t been well at all…physically, emotionally and mentally I’ve been a mess for the past few weeks, so much so, that reading people’s posts on BB has been very difficult for me to get my head around them enough to reply….😢 I feel like a failure right now.

I am able to walk a bit now without that horrible pain, leg still aches of a night enough to wake me up, but thankful that I can walk enough now to do a bit around my home…if I was motivated enough to do it…heel pain is still constant with every step….gosh I’m a whinger aren’t I?…

Deebi, Eagle Ray, Paws…thank you so much for your beautiful posts….True house cleaning can wait…but if I wait much longer I’ll have flowers growing on my lounge room floor, there is so much dirt on it….my mother and late husband would be so ashamed of me😢..

Its been cold here through the days…around 4-6 degrees the past few days then minuses of a night which produces a beautiful frost….

I hope everyone is doing good,

Sending you all my love with hugs…🩷🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Grandy and Everyone,

Grandy, it really has been tough for you lately and I really feel for you 💗 You are absolutely not a failure at all. I think the complete opposite of you - that you are a truly beautiful soul who makes this world a better place. People like you are the treasures of this world and we are lucky to know you. And as for what your mother and late husband might think of your house right now, I am not only not ashamed of you, I’m proud of you for your courage in getting through all the pain you’ve had to deal with and the feeling down as well. I even like the idea of some cheerful flowers growing in your lounge room 🌼🌸😀

I’m glad the walking is a little easier now. The heel pain is awful isn’t it. I don’t know if it’s any encouragement but mine really improved eventually after some extended rest. Mine was plantar fasciitis and I’m already not remembering for sure if that’s what you have, but it sounds similar. Sorry if I am forgetting. For a while there I had some orthotic inserts to go in my shoe made by a podiatrist. That did help with support for a while. I found finding the right shoes helped a lot. I know it can be expensive all that though - going to a podiatrist and getting good shoes. But even if you have just one pair that are particularly supportive that can help.

Wow that’s very cold where you are. We don’t get minuses here at all, though some inland towns do occasionally but I’m on the coast here. It’s been stormy here today. I’m having a nice cup of lemon and ginger tea before bed at the moment. I’ve had a really awful past four weeks so I really relate to that feeling of things being overwhelming. But I think I’m making gradual improvements and I really wish the same for you Grandy. I would love to be able to sit and have a cuppa with you on your lovely verandah.

Take good care and warm hugs 🤗

ER

[demonblaster]

😂loven growing flowers ‌‌ on the lounge room floor. Oh Oh don't forget to water them 😅

With so much going on in your head & dealing with pain Grandy hun we know how our minds take us to the negative thinking and self doubt. Try lovey not to think that you're a failure and as we've heard here often from wise people it's ok to have some compassion for ourselves. I say let yourself off the hook about feeling like a failure and focus on what you have done for so many people. I do know what that feels like though sweety

Ok my very dear friend. Sending you much love warmth and care.
You will be looking back on this Grandy love. Keep going hun and rest up as much as po for the poor bod.

Tc everyone 😊

[demonblaster]

Hi Grandy 💏 Eagle 🦅 and everyone 😊 ‌‌

Grandy love I read your post I think it was the next day and really am sorry lovey for not getting back sooner. I did often think cause you're in my ‌‌🗯 heaps which helped to remember but then got distracted or straight out forgot. Tiredness plays a big part with that but here now honey with extra big long loving 🤗 ‌'s

Ah not at all good you're having such a hard time though understandable with such pain let alone other stress makes for hard work with both sides at you. Poor thing 🤗

I think way back the fasciitis eventually settled. Here's hoping it will again darl. Weight bearing areas of the bod make it harder aye poor darling ‌‌💗

Really good to hear you're getting some more steps around home. And no lovey you're not at all a whinger it's good knowing where you're at. Stress needs to come out.

Re the housework with what you're up against. Yeah darl it can wait. There's good reason and times it's just too hard but later not so much.

Ugh I experienced in my birth area very cold times which  I know you too like the cool fresh but nah...feeling for you and others having that to contend with.

Ok hun I'm catching the Deendy express home so must fly 🐉
Leaving you a jug of love care compassion life friendship mixed with a few sparkles flowers and sunshine. Might have to stir it all up before drinking. 

Love you heaps darlin. Although hard try and remember and feel the good bits to starve beasty brat.

💜💗😇💫

[demonblaster]

Hey there our beautiful Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and everyone 😊

I do hope this post finds you in good spirits dear friend and not in so much pain as you've been contending with. No one needs that. I do feel for you lovey. It's so much hard work and effects our whole lives doesn't it. 

So as always you're in my mind so just wanted to pop in and let you know that you're very appreciated loved and cared for. 

Please look after yourself as if you were looking after us. That'd be Gold. 
You deserve some good things to come your way precious lady. 

Ruok? huns 🤗🤗🤗 PuAbok darlin. Really do love you 💫💜🙂

Hope it's not freezing there but I imagine it probs is. Brrrr ❄️ Nice being rugged up but I wouldn't think because of it being so cold. 

Really do hope you're ok honeyheart 💗

[demonblaster]

Hiya our Grandy 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 regulars and readers 🖐

Dear Mrs lovely just ducking in to see how you are as you've been a bit quiet lately. Knowing how they respectfully ask us not to pressure replies which to a large extent I agree and respect ....BUT dear Watson 🎩surely bbff's have a lil bit of leeway 🤔 maybe pushing my luck a bit here but hey I've been SO well behaved for a long time...ok ok good argument I haven't been here much now days 😆 see I too can be reasonable 😁

 
SO Mrs Grandyfloss now that I've finished my lil (little) natter to invisible people 🤣 I'm doing well howzabout you dear friend. 
Aunty Deebi's moved her hands to her hips but isn't stamping feet yet. her face isn't contorted with worry but hun I know how much here means to you. Lovey I've gotta say I'm a lil concerned because I'm allowed cause of caring & loving you soooo much. That's  how I earnt my bbff badge 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Do you still have our emoji list that you did such a good job of initiating when we can't talk etc but ok. I'm fairly sure mines in a storage place if you need it darlin. 

I realised recently that I'm not giving you snip bits of my life lately so as I know you're ok with but I try not too often to do I'll tell you a couple of bits. 

Very happy with this lovely dear man 😍 do you know we're approaching 6 yrs already. Wow fast aye

I slacked off for a bit with the hip exercises and boyo paid big time for that but good it prompted me to increase and be more often with them. I almost now look a lot like an hour glass 😲 and have similarities to Arnold Swartzy's muscle bulk. I can tell everyone's SO jealous annd that's with eating a LOT of choccy 🍫too. Go figure ( Excuse the pun) 

Ok better choof before I run out of characters. 
Hold in there Grandy trooper. You matter to many darlin 🤗😘💜