Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

Sorry I haven't been able to get my computer working and I only have a minute now, it's still not working properly..

I wish I could help with your sewing, but I am a hopeless sewer so I'm no use! Making yourself an apron sounds like a nice idea..

I still wonder if the support person was bound by an employment agreement not to say she was leaving... but I understand it leaves you feeling bewildered and hurt. I hope the new person is lovely to you and that you can maybe think that the other person might have had some kind of professional/employment conditions that meant she couldn't say anything to you.. sometimes we never know the reasons for people's behaviour...

A cold couple of mornings, hot this afternoon.. I am a bit off colour and so is Sam and the computer has been acting up for a couple of days now.. I am sending you soft fluffy sweet hugs and cuddles from little Sam hug hugs

[demonblaster]

Hi dear bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 & lovelies ☺

I hope you're doing as well as can be our Grandy love.

Hoping our lovely Hannah hi hun is right that maybe a clause pfftt re not contacting after leaving or ? I really do hope down the line she at least texts when she settles.
Big job selling and moving tho still doesn't fit with a simple take care best wishes etc. I feel the same as you especially that she said she really likes you and knowing because of her job how fragile people are. Good communication is essential in her role I would have thought pfftt

I hope with my heart this other ones a good fit hun and that it'll be slightly easier that you know her a bit.

Also that she'll take you for walks. The other didn't which is a big goal of yours.
With luck the change with newbie might be a positive more constructive one.

She might be able to shed some more light on why she didn't say she's leaving.

I'm sorry that's hurt you beautiful lady 🤗

With luck your poor ouchems fingers have eased off but I guess maybe not unless you were able to do something or get direction from a nurse, great suggests Pawsy 🐾 Health direct is excellent from personal experience.
Easy to lose balance at anytime bad luck landing on the needles yikes.

I like cactuses esp cutey baby ones too. One day I'd like to start a little bubby cactus garden.

Call me crazy but I'm compelled to just touch the spikes 😆 not after the pain like you have 😐 but it's like a challenge or something. 🤔 hymm must get over that one 😄

Would if there's any aprons at work you could undofor a pattern. ? a pattern there for them. Or on the net might have some patterns.
I'm so keen to sew. Not till I'm in a new place.
Another mutual gain for us if rl 😢 You teaching me could put a good light on sewing for you plus I learn. I can do hems but was young and wild. Got the sack from 2 sewing jobs. Was ok I knew I wasn't doing right as a worker taking sickies too often but I can hem.

Oh yeh about the ways clear how, it's amazing the clarity then poof. Mania at it's best.
It's in your mind in storage hun hopefully it'll return one day but we'd prefer before the turn of the century aye 😄

You too Grandz hope you're ok precious bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝👂
Growing eternal deep love my SSS sweetyheart

Everyone take good care ☺🤗 for anyone needing a hug and a beautiful rose. No need for water...it's plastic 😆⚘

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

I wanted to say somethng about carers and I believe WW workers would fall in that broad category.

My very good friend who recently passed away was totally dependent on carers -physically - for some 30 years. We were close and as a result I visited him once a week for half a day for more years than I care to remember

Naturally during that time I say a large number of carers come and go, and it was surprising the relationships that formed, considering they were paid (badly) to see to his most personal needs.

There were many for whom it was just a job and they performed their duties, often in a cheerful manner, and that was it. They formed no close bond with the person they were paid to attend and when they left were never heard from again. That being said almost universally they did their duties well.

There were some however who did form a real and lasting attachment, and would often go far beyond their duties to make my freind more comfortable, even to the extent of going shopping (something he could not do himself of course) and coming in to fill emergency gaps in the roster at great personal inconvenience at no pay.

These were genuine friends and to be treasured. They might come at off-shift time to simply be there as a friend and play cards, watch movies and enjoy the company. The bond was such that when circumstances forced them to go elswhere they still kept in touch -and later attended his funeral.

It can be hard to tell the difference between paid attendants and genuine freinds at times, and I guess the trick is to "do as you would be done by" like the Waterbabies and gradually allow a genuine friendship to build up if it is reciprocated beyond the mere execution of duties.

Before you judge the WW worker who just disappeared too harshly please bear in mind you may never know the full facts.I can think of many explanations why someone's job ends, and they move away.

One instance from my friend's life was such an attendant and freind. It turned out he was fired from the agency and instructed not to contact any of his former charges saying if he did he would not work again as a carer.

He too moved away with his family in an endeavor to start again and contacted nobody, not due to neglect, but feeling it simply too emotionally hard and risky as well

His friendship had been genuine and something to remember fondly in the future.

With your WW worker - who knows - simply uncaring & rude or maybe a victim of other circumstances.

Croix

[Croix]

Forgot the obligatory emoji

🤔

M

[Ggrand]

Dear Croix...

Thank you for your kind post...

I didn’t mean to judge her...perhaps I have been and it’s not who I am....

I knew her farm was up for sale...she told me that her husband and herself was moving to the outskirts of my bigger town....It’s okay they are moving away....I am happy for them...and only wish them the best....I can’t do that now...

I have her private phone number which she gave me a couple of years ago...incase I needed her on weekend...She introduced me to her husband and a few times have spoken to him by phone if he rings her when she is with me....also she has taken me to her home to meet her fur baby...Supporter made a little plan was that before she left...She was going to pick me up and another participant of hers, who has left the system now for nearly a year.....I met her other participant on hospital stay.....then we were all going to have a bbq at hers and watch the sunset...as her home is high on a hill....and supporter has told me many times about how beautiful it is.,.I suppose this has made me feel sad...I wanted to give her a small gift I bought her, for her new home and wish her all the best in her new journey and adventure...I was looking forward for that evening...and feel sad it didn’t happen...

Maybe I was being selfish....anyway..I need to try to move on...

Thank you again Croix...you gave me something to think about....my mind gets confused a lot about simply living...I appreciate the tiny thinking 🤔 emoji...it made my day today....

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I happened to see your post .. I hope you don't mind me coming by when you were replying to Croix... but I wanted to say..

I think you're having a gift for her is lovely. That is so sweet of you, and I think it is just the sort of thoughtful thing I would expect of you after just getting to know you here on BB! Your lovely nature shines out dear Grandy!

I wonder if she just got caught up in the busyness of moving house with her husband and was too involved with all that to say goodbye to you... but perhaps she will do that later on, now the move is over and once they get more settled? Moving is such a huge job... perhaps she just needs time to sort herself out and will contact you in a while?

The other thing is... do you know their new address, could you send a card perhaps? If you have a mobile phone number for her, would you send a brief text hello?

Whatever you do, I think it was a lovely thought that you had a gift for her, perhaps she will still follow through on having you over for that BBQ when they have settled in more? But even if not, I think it just shows what a sweet person you are, and clearly she liked you very much... that should tell you something about yourself... that people do come to notice you and care about you and like you very much - as many people do here on BB.

Think how many people on BB care about you! And this lady clearly liked you very much. Don't give up that she might still get in touch with you.

Softest, fluffiest hugs from little Sam to lovely Grandy!!! oxoxooxoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Hanna...

Thank you for your post..and your kind words to me..you’re so right in saying moving is a big job...It happened so quick for them...The property sold only a day after it was advertised...which must have been a bit of a shock for them,,,

I don’t know her address only the town she’s moving too which is around a 5 hour drive from here...I cannot ring her..not now anyway....I don’t want her worrying about me..she has so much on her plate atm....I am hoping that when she does settle in to their new home, that she might give me a ring.... If not I will msg her a happy Easter at Easter time....

I have VC counselling appointment on Thursday...my new supporter will be taking me...then again the following Thursday to my Cardiologist appointment...which I’m not looking forward to..it’s a stress test....yucky...

Thank you Hanna...I won’t give on her contacting me...I was comfortable with her presence and being around her....

Hugs Dear Hanna....and Sam...

Grandy..

[Hanna3]

Hi Grandy,

I thought I'd check in to see how you're going - glad I did and there you are! I think that's the best thing, that she probably just got caught up in all the hassle of moving house in a rush and hasn't recovered yet... give her time and hopefully she will catch up with you eventually - she's probably in a mess and exhausted and unpacking is a huge job!

A stress test doesn't sound like much fun at all, I can understand why you're not looking forward to that! I have so much back pain my GP is trying to find out how to get an MRI scan done for me... meantime I am surviving on heaps of codeine for pain relief - oh the joys of getting older! I managed to make it to music today but only just - the lessons are pre-paid so if I miss it, I have still paid for it - and anyway at least it takes my mind off back pain for a little while!

You sound a bit more settled about your support person... I think be hopeful she will get in touch but is probably overwhelmed at the moment. Unpacking when I moved here took me ages, and it's tiring too - and you have to change your address details everywhere, and redirect your post,settle in a new home, etc etc etc!!! Give her time ...

Meanwhile you have your neighbour and the friends at the store and your friends here on BB where you are highly thought of by so many people....

Yet more hugs and cuddles from little Sam (he's been playing find the treats in the cup for ages now...it's become his favourite game)

I have been on Utube - my harp teacher likes a young lady called Kristy-Lyn who teaches harp on Utube'-she is a sweet thing - I am watching and listening after my lesson today.

hug hug well done you! oxoxokxoxo

[demonblaster]

Dear Mrs beautiful 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovely friends hi 🖐

Tried yesterday posting but probs sorted. Here now 😊

Our dear love you have a particularly hard day today with VC 🤗 I'm right there with you beautiful holding your hand transferring strength.
You can even turn my ears onto mute ... if you prefer me not to hear things...It's ok... sigh... I get that horrid music Telstra and others put on for waiting ...it's like a screech...totally in your face...think their plans to make you hang up pfftt.

Please seriously don't worry about talking at mine unless you're feeling to as well darlin. I know these days and a few after take a lot of your energy and it's needed to get your head around it all. I really don't want you feeling under the pump to post...ever gorgeous.

Hey hun hold onto hope we knows a strong protection tool if it's viable that maybe when she settles the bbq might happen somewhere.
I also hold hope that you will eventually be in touch.
I don't at all think you were being selfish. It was a promise made.
I still feel as you do that she could have taken a couple of minutes to even text.
Tho selling the house immediately must have put them in 🙃 mode.
Hearts with yours dear friend.
Hard not to judge a situation that is at the time.

Croix I too like gives us something to chew on although must say I haven't seen any choccy 🍫 what's the score Croixy man! Cool you throwing up an emoji love it Mr C 👍

You have a couple of big Thursdays.
Gee I prey your hearts holding up. I imagine you're still on extra heart meds.
Funny you mentioned this I was thinking a couple of days ago to see how your physical healths holding.

Grandy day to dusk and further you're in my 🗯&💜 always with strong lasting love dear friend. Loves one of our mightiest strengths. You have it in spades lovely lady.

Thank you for being such a beautiful caring soul.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫👀🤝🗯😚⚘

[Croix]

Dear Grandy~

How people feel inside is hard to judge, She sounds as if she was more into caring that just a job, but may have feared her clients simply took it that way

As you now know another of her clients and are able to contact your carer perhaps you both might consider some people simply need a nudge to 💫 get started

What do you think?

Croix