Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Hanna3]

Hi Deebi - I popped back to see how things are going. Gosh you're a lovely person Deebi! I knew you were anxious about Grandy...

Grandy - Glad you took it all out on the bedhead that gave me a chuckle!!! Gotta get it all out girl! You have too much going wrong at once dear lady!! Have a rest day tomorrow... and I hope you feel better... soft fluffy warm hugs from little Sam... I have to go into Big Town starting with O on Tuesday, little Sam has to go to the groomer...we'll be sending warmest thoughts and wishes your way... as we drive up there... little Sam with his head out the car window... loves the breeze in his ears...

You've got such a wonderful friend in Deebi here - we all care about you... xoxoxoxoxo

[demonblaster]

Hey Sweetyheart 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hannah and all other lovelies 🖐

Just a quicky for now. You'll have hands on your hips hun 😅 tis late oopsy.

Understandable you not being a happy camper being woken esp in those circumstances geez louise. I'm ok temperament in mornings but prefer not being awake in them 😄 The whole deal was just beeping wrong. Bloody hide actually. Riles me!

😂 cool bout your bed head.. you go girl 🏋️‍♀️. Sounds like you have good reason to be pleased. Well done. Oh yeh sounding really good about the painting. Creams a nice gentle colour and it is refreshing isn't it.

When I read that I kept thinking good she's changing things, unsure if the beds how it used to be in hard times with hubby?

Either way change is refreshing good on you. Woo hoo.

So good hearing you're feeling better than morning. Hold onto that beautiful love.

Love you too Aunty Grandy 🤗 Always in my 🗯 with deep love care and warmth. Your truly a beautiful friend 👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝💗🏋️‍♀️⚘😚

Hey Hannah thanks for your nice comments. Our Grandy she's a beautiful lady and awesome friend to me too. Very easy as you can see to love.

Hope you're going as well as can be ☺

Nigh nite everyone sweet dreams 💗

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

I love the sound of what you have done with your bedhead. That will make it so much more comfy to lean against. With painting your furniture, when I repainted the lounge room at my old place I used Gaffer tape over the carpet that was against the skirting so I could paint all the way down without painting the carpet.

Lass with you not feeling able to speak up directly to your support person about the whole lunch/walk thing, I've had a thought about a less direct way you might feel able to bring it up. Could you make yourself some sandwiches (or what you would like for lunch) & carry them obviously. That would make an opening for you to say that you thought she could grab a take away sandwich & then you could both eat them in the park to break up your walk. That way you are not having to say directly "I don't want to..." which I know you have difficulty doing, yet you will still be able to stand up for yourself.. No pressure for you to do things this way it is just a thought.

Huggly hugs

Paws

[demonblaster]

Dear Mrs Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Hey all ☺

Hi sweetyheart I know we have times not posting which is quite ok.

Dunno tonight somethings niggling me apart from missing you. Not pressure at all just saying how much you're loved.

I really hope you're ok I know there's an awful lot on your plate esp with VC on top of everything.

Love you so much my beautiful besty bbff. PubAok honeyheart.

👩‍❤️‍👩🤝💗👀💜🏋️‍♀️🤗

Dear lovely Paws. Your post was very nice with great advice.

😚🗯

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Hanna, Paws...🤗..

Thank you for your kind posts...

The bed didn’t collapse..woohoo...It was much quieter..the wooden bedhead used to squeak,,,yes Deebi..the same bed, and bedroom suite,..I hate it for reason but no $ for new one... The room looks different already with my home made bed head...move over Carpenters...here I come..😂.

Paws..I could do that with packing my lunch..I don’t think supporter would like that very much..but it hopefully will be okay now as the appointments on Fridays are after lunch..but I will take a thermos full of Tea....Thank you for the gaffer tape advice..I will write it down for when I do the walls....It’s the furniture I want to paint first..then maybe the walls...

Hanna..I haven’t been to O for over a few years now...I hope Mr Sam likes his groom..and feels spoilt and loved...

Thank you saying about Deebi...Without her in my life..I will be completely empty and devastatingly sad...Love her so much we’ve adopted each other as sisters 👯..💜.

Im okay in the mornings..not cranky, just very slow moving....it takes hours after I’m awake for my head to wake up...😂..

It was a beautiful day here today..sunshine, cool breeze..I sat outside for a few hours to enjoy it...I hope you all got some sun on your bodies today....Nature’s hugs..

Deebi..love you dearest sss..pubaok..💜🕊🌱🐻🤗..

My care, love and hugs to everyone..🦋💜🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all lovelies ☺

You're a sweety girl thank you so much for posting hun ☺ I know at times it's very hard wording. Horrid headspace isn't it 🤗

Yay the bed remains in good order. Very creative doing that.
Fabulous idea changing appearance. Good job lovely.
I was imagining Ebony and Kya wondering what Mummy was doing.

Looks like you do have another trade. Impressive your what's it called...bosses check out work history...🤔...mind block! CV I think.

Anyhoo back in the warehouse Batman and Robin were eating...CHOCOLATE!...Quick Grandy grab our 💼... 💃...🏃‍♀️

Yes let's hope the Fridays are going to be what they're sposed to be. Really good ideas about packing lunch. Thermos of teas good too. We had a tea tonight it was nice. I'm a coffee person but just here and there no addiction but tea is nice and refreshing.

Geez you're still battling those terrible weeds. Be super careful my love don't wan't you sick anymore.

Hope your day at work goes good Grandy love tomoz. Did you say there they're taking you for granted too 😠 better not be!

What beautiful things you've been saying thank you very much honeyheart. I don't think I replied to your gorgeous comment about some chocolate would be good though 😂 oh I loved how you threw that in cracked me up.

I feel the same you've no idea how this beautiful friendship makes me feel. It's amazing. The support love and what fun we have. Awesome.
Love you so much my dear adopted sissy 🤗 Magic 🦄

Grandz remember beautiful love no matter what beasty says it's ok to hear even think if it's right but don't feel it or allow negative thoughts to follow.
Tell [IT] you're stronger and don't want that rot anymore!

Leaving you a beautiful delicate Golden butterfly 🦋 & the prettiest Rainbow 🌈 you've ever seen in your room.
Glitter bubbles floating around your awesome new look bed playing Leo Rojenaris (oops spello) to relax you into the most peaceful slumber of beautiful dreams.

Really lovey puAbok yadimh lysvm sss bbff swod 👩‍❤️‍👩💃💜👀🤝💗

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

the bed sounds fantastic. Well done you. I could not do that. You never cease to amaze me with your resilience and personal determination.

i have not been travelling very well lately. Which I why I have been absent. I am lonely. I have never really experienced loneliness before and it not about being alone. But it is horrible I would like to just shut me eyes and sleep for ages and wake how life once was for me.

I turned 69 just recently, I hate being old or elderly or whatever the is described as. I am really starting to look my age , it is grim. I know it is just vanity, but I hate it

keep up your activities and don’t worry about what the support worker is or isn’t doing, so long as she is kind to you

tess

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Tess and all..🤗..

The bed looks better now, and in a way feels different..not squeaky anymore..I need to finish it properly..It’s only half done...need some vinyl or heavy material to finish it..I would love a soft green colour...

Co ordinator is getting very bossy...and lazy..The girl out back with me has dermatitis on her hands which are very sore she told me....and is wearing,..the soft rubber gloves then cotton gloves then rubber gloves on top...that’s okay but not good..because I notice she NEVER washes her hands nor changes her outta gloves all day....This is not right, whether COVID or normal times..geesh it’s only common sense to be hygienic towards you and others...No I’ve said nothing to her...anyhow I do my own bag of clothes that I select and she does her own bag that she selects...I am just going with the flow of things..staying outback doing my job and going home...

I don’t want that anymore, nor do I want to continue the way I am...I want better and I’m trying to find better....Maybe I’ll find it one day..if I stop trying I’ll never find it...Never give up either Deebi..because a few very good reasons are...you’re loved by Mr. Deebi, many others in r/l and here and also your bbff...me 👭..so very deeply..💜🤗🦋...You are in my 💭 when I wake..until I sleep...Sisters ( soul, spirit ) sisters do that..with love and care..🌈🦋💭🐻😂💜.

Tess.. I’m sorry that you’re struggling with loneliness..it’s terribly overwhelming at times... I have many days feeling the loneliness....and it is very overwhelming..I wish I could help you feel less alone..it’s awful to think about being lonely with people around, yet I can relate to that so much...When I start feeling that loneliness coming on.,I start talking to my dogs, and talking here on BB...

Happy belated birthday Tess... Getting old comes with aches and pains...My Dr once told me that getting old shouldn’t bring on aches and pains..I disagree with that information she gave me...Tess, sweetheart, talk here anytime you need/feel up to..we have known each other now for a few years ... and you’ve been doing it hard on and off throughout those years...always here or on yours for you..

My care, love and hugs everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hiya dear Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

Oh Grandy I'm so sorry I put it in the calender about vc but apparently have botched it again.
I really hope today went ok for you darls 🤗

Take your time posting huns just get yourself back in balance this must throw you for a six. With you beautiful 🤝👀💜

Cool loven what you've done with the bed and your plans. Sounds refreshing.
Darlin I was wondering do you think you might be in mania?

Grandz not sounding good at all the supervisor carrying on like that. Good just doing your own thing.

I wouldn't think being in gloves would do dermatitis any favours but could be wrong. I'm thinking the heat and moisture would aggravate but unsure.

So true Grandy love if we give up we won't know if there's better. Go through too much to give up. Otherwise why bother rising above each time eh.

Tess hi there ☺ it is terrible being lonely I'm sorry hearing you're suffering so much.

Soul sisters always beautiful Grandy.
Love you very much huns. You're a great friend very appreciated lovely 🤗

Always 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀😍🦋🌈

[Hanna3]

Grandy (and hello to lovely Deebi and others!)

I do know how awful being lonely is, I am lonely here and little Sam gets lonely for some furry play friends... but do know we are here keeping you company with Deebi and your other friends here...I am sorry someone is being bossy to you...and I hope the counselling today didn't upset you...and what you've done with the bed sounds great you will get it sanded and make it nice again to suit you...

Dear lady I don't know why we are so alone...little Sam and I want you to know we're here and checking on you from time to time... and love it when you come by my thread, it's so nice to have you there with dear Paws.. I was feeling like poor Paws was alone there listening to my stuff and it's so nice to have you come by too..you've got people here who care about you...don't feel too lonely... I know we look like just type print but that's little Sam on the left of the pic running with his friend Zorro who has the brown patches.. on the beach...and we'll be thinking of you tomorrow and will come by to check - and I know Paws cares too... soft fluffy gentle hugs xoxoxoxo