Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[demonblaster]

Hi gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all 👋

Just dropping in to say a quicky hi and that I'm always listening.

Bbt tomoz lovey.

Thank you and dear Paws for your really lovely posts same bbt ☺

Sleep well beautiful/s 🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗👂👀

[demonblaster]

Precious Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and all ☺

Hi sweet so glad about Betty that you still love and care which you would.
Nodding head same I'm wary borrowing in case of breakages too

Struth that's a nasty weed the beast. Ah Grandz you must've been thinking what on Earths happening and so severe too.
You probs know darl with diarrhoea and vomiting in your case you poor love 🤗 we lose water which needs to be replaced. 🍹
I wonder if the nice new girl had that instead of a bug/virus.

Hun we wondered if you'd tried Zero or Round up which I've always heards pretty good.
You may have as you said you tried a few types of weed

Rough they can't come out geez to do their job. Unfair other places are looked after.

Wow 18th June lovey 🤗 always by your side with an 👂 and 🤝
You're very brave dear friend.
As you know sadly way too well with PTSD we relive pain repeatedly and feel it.
I hope it's done over a period of time but I do have faith no matter how long they'd know what they're doing.
I don't know or ironically remember more to the point 😆 how your memory is.
I was thinking lovey if you have any questions you could write them down to ask.

I had a warm heart glow when you said you'll try your best. You're such an inspiration darlin. You give this your all. You really do have a lot of courage and determination to give beasty the royal choof.

Hun I'm wondering does Mrs C know that Zeus bit you.
Maybe you could say that you want to help her but because of that and how you're feeling if she doesn't know.

It's good hearing what Pawsy and you said about a dog feeling overwhelmed not necessarily vicious.

I agree woofa would be a lot better off somewhere sooner I'd think than later while still a puppy to be taught and cared for not that Mrs C isnt but he's too strong to handle. It could be 2 days old and I'd be scared 😄
Unfair on her 2 being scared of big boy.

It is heartbreaking hearing an animal in distress. I was relieved that she took it inside when she'd finished.

How cool you found a lovely spot when driving to town. Good move removing yourself from distress.

Absolutely darlin beasty eats far too much and intrudes on us uninvited wayyy too much.
Sleep and rest really are our most needed tools for recooping and maintaining good mind and body health.

Hope your days better today honeyheart and everyones.
Love you so much you're a great friend Grandy Floss.

👩‍❤️‍👩💜💗🍹🤗🤝👀🦄

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩,...and everyone...🤗..

I don’t mind that Betty didn’t loan me...The amount of these weeds I have here, could easily get a few seeds into a little nooks or cranny that I can’t clean down after I used it and then she would have the same problem as I do...Mrs C. has these weeds in her yard as well..so not too bad me using hers...The do make me feel really sick after I mow..Mrs C doesn’t have the same reaction as I do...My arms and face go like a beetroot colour then it goes to my belly and then 🤢..I tried Zero, Roundup I’m going to try another type I’ll buy next week....Council won’t spray residential home, but will spray farms etc...

The victims Services is 22 one hour sessions each week or fortnight, then if needed some extra visits, not sure how many..I’m hoping that 22 will be more then enough...They are a government agent/contractors so I doubt they will up and leave in the middle of therapy...I’ve lost a lot of trust with psychologist...and mental health workers...I will say with total honesty I’m scared, to do this...but need to...for me...

Mrs C. Was in her front yard this morning with Zeus...Zeus he came over to the side fence for a pat... and I gave him some pats and he jumped up with his front paws on the fence to kissed me...Dogs are not usually vicious animals..and seem to have a sense of people’s souls..Her chicken safety fence is finished and strong, so no more being tied up...

I’m feeling okay..Silly me I wasn’t sure if I took my night meds..and I must have doubled up taking them again...I slept over 12 hours last night 😂..which tells me I did double dose myself...Will have to see how much Webster packs are, or pack myself into a daily pill container when I buy them...Silly me..

I started drawing my tree..Not looking much like the real one.😂..

Love you so much Deebi..your also a good friend..💜🦋🕊🌱🌹..🧸🤗..

My love, care and hugs everyone..💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy......🦄👼

[demonblaster]

Beautiful friend 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi everyone 😊

I'm glad that you're ok about Betty darlin. I'd be sorry seeing such a lovely friendship go South.
Tho I still feel it was off. Hope you sometime hear why.
So doesnt sound like the weeds were the issue.
Maybe something to do with covid do you think. Praps to do with her isolation and keeping everything close by to avoid possible spread to the mower. Metal and clothes I've heard the virus stays on them 3 days.

Grandy lovely you said here or mine that you hope you didn't say anything wrong...NO WAY HOZAAY (how on earth is that spelt 😆) not at all my beautiful bbff 🤗 Just threw that in while I remembered ☺

Geez that's strange Mrs C doesn't get that reaction. It's really bad poor love
Darlz that's harsh on your poor body is there any chance you could wait to mow till you get rid of the beasts. Nasty critters.

Wonder if they see it that farms produce crops or meat etc. Regardless seems poor form not looking after houses geez and it's costing you pfttt.

Maybe an email could help directly to council explaining the cost and effect on you physically and mentally and unable to afford any more potions.

Wow I was surprised how many sessions which sounds thorough which you need honeyheart 🌱

Oh good being government so they can't leave you in the lurch.
Hearing you say if they did you'd be done...very sad dear love 😐

It would be scary I know 🤗
Beautiful lady you go through the repeated pain continuously with CPTSD in and out of BP too

These caring people unlike when you're alone, they'll be close by keeping an eye on you just like we do sweetyheart 👀

You can do this Grandy darlin I know you can.
I and I'm sure everyone here knows this too.
Believe in your strength beautiful brave lady.
I love you realising you have to do it for yourself. That's courage to the max lovely one 💪. Bite that beasty!

You're brave patting Zeus.
Sounds promising that things will be a bit better on that front but the training I really hope Mrs gets into

Geez you would have needed that big sleep. That was scary
Would you have been ok to go without instead of the risk. I think they usually say go that way.
Good girl thinking a Webster pack I'm not sure but don't think too much or no cost with luck.

Cool you've started the tree. I think Pawsy might join in too. Want to chat about that but bbl. Bit late now oops.

Love you heaps Grandy

PubAok yadimh awyis bbff lysvm 👩‍❤️‍👩💜⚘🌱

✨🍰💪🕊 nite all 💗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deeb

.Betty rang me 6am..to take her to biggest hospital...her ex hubby hasnt got long to live

.they are taking him of life support soon.

[demonblaster]

Oh no that's not good darlin.

Hard position for you huns because you sensed before Betty said about her life with him. Do I understand that properly. Hope I'm not triggering tho the situation itself would I imagine be quite stressful

I guess she'll lean on you honeyheart which could be hard cause you're doing the victim impact on 22nd.

Ruok, Beautiful sometimes. I'm unsure

Always love care and the closest of friendships precious friend 👩‍❤️‍👩💜🕊✨💪🤗😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

I just got home...I couldn’t stay anymore..and watch him die...it’s to hard for me.....I hope they don’t think I’m a bad person...and I don’t care because I do....Memories flooded me of my hubby with tubes etc all over him....her son and grandkids are their...and crying, which started me of crying for most of the day...Betty came with me..she’s home now...The Drs said anytime now, bad heart...

Im tied and going to rest now...Will be taking her again tomorrow....hard Deebi....

[demonblaster]

Thanks lovey keeping us updated.

🤗 No sweetyheart it's never easy it.

Poor love it's added stress on you worrying they'll think that way about you.

So easy to say but try to self talk those thoughts away. You've heard them so if they come back choof off 🤜Kaboom🤛 (that was cool darl the one you did for me.

I think they'd be grateful you took Betty and would see you've been so kind and if they saw your tears they'd I'd hope understand it's hard.

Yes we're going too for 😴 I'll be 👀

For extra support could you ring ww lady hun. Poor love 🤗

Deep love sweetyheart. Sleep well and deeply.

🤗😚👩‍❤️‍👩💜🤝👀🤛🤜⚘

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy,

Here is a gentle long hug for you lass

Paws

[Tess2]

Dear Grandy,

what a kind and loving thing to do for your friend. And you must be very special to her for her to have reached out to you for help.

you take care

tess