Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Amanda and all...

I don’t think she needed to be briefed, because had the mhn bothered to turn the computer on all my records are on their, she didn’t care enough to do that, instead she asked questions that I’ve answered countless times before, after about 15 I told her I’m going hom....

I’m not going tomorrow, I’m not comfortable with the Psychiatrist from Sydney , or new mhn...The meds he gave me was good and I felt okay on one a night, then he upped it to two, and then three, The ringing started at two a night......and it’s so very annoying constantly hearing this and no peaceful quiet anymore......I don’t trust any of them anymore, I made my mind up to go off the meds, I’ll do it slowly....

Deebi, I’m okay.....Not down...😁 I told her after I felt myself begin to feel shame...I can’t go through again and I want to go home then I left before it took me down..Then the drive drive home, my concerntration on the road, which is a must out here with the wildlife, I arrived home and greeted by my gorgeous fur buddies, getting lots of kisses of them.I sat down and well idk, all of a sudden I was totally exhausted both mind and body...so I wrote a quick post to you and mine then went to bed..

You made me lol when I read your gourmet dinner tonight...it’s my very best favourite meal, especially with Cracker Barrel vintage cheese.and lots of pepper and salt...yummy can’t wait...Oh shhh shhh I won’t say if you don’t say...our little secret...I’ll bring some strawberries....Oh 😁 I know I’ll give Peppy the extra tray of strawberries tomorrow so she won’t be to upset...with us...😂..and I’ll drizzle some melted 🍫 on top of them... Oh I love coffee frappe so much...but have to drink slow or else head freeze..😱...The bath was perfect Deebi...😂😅 Oh I loved the candle and bubbles thank you...

.Blanky, outside waiting, the stars are peeking at us, and you sitting next to me holding my hand, with strawberries, chocolate, and coffee frappe, a little chatter, a few giggles a big full moon smiling at us and all 4 of our fur buddies curled up on our laps, can’t get better then this...Sleep will come easy....Love you Deebi...💜

Good Night Deebi and all...

Love and hugs..💜🤗..

Grandy...

[smallwolf]

Sorry to hear about the headaches. Have you or are you going to tell the psychiatrist about the effects of the medication? When I was first on ADs I had that crawling skin feeling which was/is horrid. And then memory problems. If the medication isn't working with you then ... ???

With your mind so chatty last night, as you put it, were you able to use any of your distraction or mindfulness exercises? Or were they not working? Admittedly I have not had to do this recently, but I typically have fruit for dessert and added an exercise to mindfulness thread... where you imagine the fruit as a seed, then planted in the ground, growing into small sapling, then fruit tree. Think of the watering of the fruit tree, necessary to create fruit. Then the fruit growing, small at first, then becoming juicy and ripe, ready, perfect for eating.... I think you know what happens next.

Raining on an off here,

Tim

[Ggrand]

HellovTim,

Thank you for your visit to mine..

Yes thank you the headaches have gone although I don’t know if they were from the media’s or not..

I really cannot answer your first question because I don’t know what to do anymore...I really don’t...I’m just so over my mh team, cancellingappointments, changing my team members when they want to, not really listening to me and having to go through everything again. I’m finding it all to hard...

I cannot do do mindfullness atm, I have constant cicadas living inside my ears and I have no peace, no quiet times for mindfulness..although I did do the fruit, I think I read it on the mindfulness thread or Amanda’s thread I can’t remember but it did work for me then...

Thank you so very much for calling in and giving me some of your care. I really do appreciate it..

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi and all,

Just a little update...

My Psychiatrist rang me this afternoon and talked to me a little about how I’ve been since the mental heath help line phone call I had to make not long ago....

I told him about the ringing in my ears and he told me to slowly go off the meds the way I have been and then he will see me in two weeks time. He said ringing in the ears is not a very common side effect but it has been reported by a few users...After they came of the meds some lost the ringing while with others it stayed with but not so intense as mine seems to be...

I suppose time will tell now how the ringing goes...I really will be so grateful if it disappears..

I hope everyone’s is doing okay...

Love and hugs..💜🤗

Grandy...

[demonblaster]

Hi darlin 🤗

I feel sorry that you haven't got good MH help that you're comfy with and being so limited to choice isn't fair.

Sweety be really careful going off the meds. Do you think talk to GP about it so they can keep an eye on you.

Poor thing the ringing would be annoying for sure. Hopefully that'll settle soon when you reduce meds.

So glad you enjoyed your gourmet meal, it's hard working up a sweat like that but you need looking after too. Was a pleasure.

How beautiful your furs so happy tho see you and kisses after such a hard day ☺💜

Glad you're not down sweet and by the sounds you had a good sleep.

Ok hun got a nice baked tea for you tonight, mmm lamb yummm mint sauce crunchy spuds soft inside cause par boiled first pumpkin you love dry ick ones don't you I think. Greens beans zucchinis.

Got your bed all ready and furs are already there playing with D&E. You're at mine tonight if you still want to. Hope so.

Love you Grandy ☺💑💜🗝🦄🕊

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

Good on you for leaving that mhn. I soooooooo agree Grandy, she was just too damn lazy to switch on that computer and obviously no compassion for others. Even I was angry at her Grandy. I'm so sorry this happened hon. It's a about damn time your psychiatrist rang you too. Relieved he agreed for you to reduce the meds. I soooooooo hope the ringing in your ears does go away.....!

I wish your mh care team were so so much better Grandy 🙁. It truly sucks for you. I wish I could do more for you lovely lady.....

At least you had your furbuddies to greet and smother you with kisses when you got home. 🐶🐶. So loyal and unconditional ❤❤. I pictured them doing so Grandy.

Please just be mindful your mood may drop a little hon when decreasing the meds. If you can lovely lady maybe try to add extra protein and fibre to your diet to help cope. I know you know this. .. I just care for you beautiful...

Thank you for your gorgeous post on mine. I will reply real soon. I am good, just preoccupied with house stuff....but all good.

Sending you big warm hugs because you deserve them 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗. Be kind to yourself lovely lady. ..you deserve to toooo. Oh and lots of beautiful self care because. ..you deserve it !

Wishing you peaceful thoughts and a big sleep tonight.

Thinking of you always 😇❤🤗🐶🐶🐺😍

Lee

[Lee lee 73]

Grandy,

....me again. ...protein and iron I meant 🙈🙃.

Good night lovely lady ❤❤

....and to everyone 🤗❤

Lee

[Peppermintbach]

Hi gorgeous Grandy (and a wave to all),

I really hope the ringing in your ear subsides soon and eventually stops. It sounds awful...hopefully now that your psychiatrist is helping you come off the meds that it makes the transition smoother...

Oh Grandy, I think it’s beautiful that you continue to try with your son. As you said, “my love is stronger than his abandonment of me.”

Really, that says it all...hopefully one day, he will talk to you again. But in the mean time, yes, keep trying...let that deep maternal love propel you...

Your night under the stars with your precious fur babies, DB and lots of tasty treats sounds relaxing and fun. Thank you so much for sharing some strawberries with me too! Maybe I’ll add some to my breakfast this morning 🙂

Love, care and comfort...

Peppy xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Lee, Peppy, and all,

Thank you all for your very warm and caring posts.

Yes the ear ringing is horrible, but I have to try to accept that it might continue, time will tell...

My neighbour has gone out so I’m sitting outside on my veranda and it’s so nice to feel the sun on my skin and then paddock accross the road is so pretty, it’s green with lots of purple flowers, probably weeds but they are pretty....I’m wishing the cows were back..Mumjoe haven’t been seen since the long weekend.

I will be careful coming of the meds, I really would like not to go on another type, for at least a couple of months and see how I go, The meds do settle me a little but getting my mh under control is causing other health concerns...

Peppy I think Love is the strongest of all our emotions and triumphs over everything else, my sons birthday on Sunday..I know I’m going to put myself in a vulnerable position but I need to ring him....

Lee....Thank you for letting me know about about protein and iron I’ll add extra, no I didn’t know about them...I have to see my new mhn again Tuesday week, I am pleased that my psychiatrist did ring me, maybe he does care a little about my mh..

Deebi....I’ll be careful and mindful coming off the meds...Your dinner was so yummy last night, love crispy potatoes and pumpkin my favourite....Today the universe is being kind to me, I feel better then okay, I think I’ll enjoy the sun a little more then do a little, well a lot of cleaning up inside my house, if you want to come over and help me you’re very welcome to, 😁...Then we can wash my fur babies,,😂 which they really don’t like.. Love you dear friend 💜🦄👼🌹..

I hope everyone has a lovely day and it’s better then it was yesterday...

Lots of cuddles and love..🤗🤗💜💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy 🦄👼...

[demonblaster]

😆 love to come over and help ...wash furs 😁

Glad psych rang you and its ok to come off your meds.

Beautiful you're going to ring your son. Love is a very powerful emotion. You're beautiful Grandy and your love would come across without a doubt.

Mumjo might be grazing somewhere else. Hope you see them soon darlin ☺

Geesh hope the cicadas choof right off, worries me because of your jaw and ear. Love you said they live in your ears, you're so cute.

Is your heart behaving? Bursitis still asleep.

Love you so very much dear friend. 💑💜👼Pubok always you mean so much. Sad we can't meet in rl 😢

Might cook chicken snitzel and veg for tea (doesnt look like the right sp?) Strawberries/Mulberries with Peppys dipping choc for later. Any of you darlings are welcome.

Ohhh look at the furs I've given them the spike hair do. Cute or what! 🤗😍

Sounds like you had a good day hun did you manage a walk?

Mwah 😚