Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[monkey_magic]

Hi Grandy,

I just wanted to extend my hand out for you to hold and send you all the strength, compassion, spirit & love that u want/ need at this time.

I think you've done really well by opening up about some life events that some could only imagine.

Your are a human that has sacrificed so much in your life. That older brother should be burying his head in all that shame lovely.

It's so good that you have a universe that will always support you- ( the stars,the moon,the sun etc..)

Plus a home and animals and people that come from the good side of the the tracks.

Sending you all the goodness you deserve.....

X

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

I would so very much love to drive to your place and give you the biggest and longest hug 🤗. I admire you more and more my beautiful new friend.

I also want you to know, that I know and truly believe it is not your shame to carry lovely lady. No way Grandy . It is your older brother's. I so agree - none of what he did even deserves a thought of forgiveness....

I have lit a candle 🕯for you tonight Grandy. ..hoping you can feel its warmth from the flame and its peace from the light. 😘.

I'm sitting with you in spirit lovely Grandy. You are the most caring compassionate strong, thoughtful and loving person Grandy. 😍❤🌹👭.

Sending you comforting hugs and thoughts... 🤗🤗🤗❤❤❤

Lee xxxxxxxx

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,Amanda, Peppy, Lee, Magic, Everyone..


Yes unfortunately yb has just left, 😭 his unwell friend is like another yb to me, I love both of them lots...

Deebi, I could never inflict the slightest bit of pain physical or mental, on anyone, it would rip my soul apart...I know how terribly painful that is to people, very well I know..

Thank you for saying you understand that I cannot forgive him....I don’t understand how yb can...My yb is gentle and caring and very patient with anyone, but I can hear also a sadness in his voice, he left to drive home over an hour ago and I have just sitting here already I miss him terribly, I will try to keep busy today and remember the last few day with fond memories, I sat on the veranda with him, and he was amazed at the king parrots landing on me....he took me out to a pub for lunch, (something I just don’t do, is to walk into a pub), I was frightened at first but I did enjoy it...and the coffe in the park..

I’m sorry at the moment no words are coming to me, I don’t know what to say...it’s like my words have just up and 🏃‍♂️ ran away.....I am okay.. just sad that he has gone back home..a few hours I’ll feel better.

Just want to say you are all beautiful people and I do love and appreciate you all......

Love and hugs ....💚🤗...Everyone..

Love you Deebi...🦄💜👼..

Grandy...

[demonblaster]

🤗 dear Grandy hi lovely people

It would be so hard and what a time you've had and having. Emotional pain is extremely tiring.

It sounds promising that you've had a fair amount of release with talking to MH team and your good loving brother. I hope over the next few days you might get more restful sleep to help you back up.

We keep going in the hard times in emotional turmoil then it's the other side that takes some doing too doesn't it. I think that's when we need to allow our body and mind to rest and recoop.

Amidst so much pain you have some quality memories associated with your loving brother the parrots landing on you how gorgeous and going out to the pub for lunch what a little trooper and you enjoyed it 🤗😀 coffee in the park. Fantastic! Vault those ones lovey

Love you very much lovely lady. Always keeping an eye on you and same as you never letting go 🤝💑💜 Always in my thoughts sweet friend 😚

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy, Amanda, Lee, Magic, and everyone..

I feel really bad not replying individually to your beautiful posts, but I will, please give me a little time... you have all helped me to get through the lowest downer I have ever experienced in such a long time.. I’m praying so hard that I never go there again....

My brother just rang me to say he is safely home, that was a relief hearing from him and knowing he is home and safe...

I slept a little and now I seem to be not as low as I have been, your kind and encouraging words have been a god sent to me, as you all are..I’m humbled by your love and care for me, I really do listen and take everything you say to my heart and try to do as you suggest, I may at times give up on me but you people never do...How is someone like me deserving of so much love and care I continually ask myself...Thank you all from so deep within my soul...You are all so very treasured and precious to me....

I just wanted you all to know just how important you all are to me...and that you all do make a difference, I think that it’s important that you all know that...

Love and care..💜🤗, maybe just words but believe me those words are coming from my heart to you all....

Deebi, 🌜🦄👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👼🌛. ...Love you deeply and I’m also keeping a very close eye 👁 well two eyes 👀 on you, Thank you for not letting go of my hand..thank you all...from my 💜....peace everyone 🕊..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

[Lee lee 73]

Hello beautiful Grandy,

Just wanted to let you know....we're just doing what you do for us ❤. And That's why you are so deserving of our love and care ...it's just what friends do for each other 🤗....and it's also because you are a beautiful soul 😊😊😊😚😚😚.

I'm happy for you, for spending time with your younger brother and for going out too. You are strong Grandy. Even though our strength goes up and down along with our depression.... it was there to begin with ... and sometimes we draw on it without even realising!

I do hope you are able to sleep tonight my dear friend. Thinking of you. ..and sitting with you Grandy ❤🤗😚.

Lee xx

[demonblaster]

Sweet lady it's just so easy to love and care about you. One day you'll start believing that what we say and why is true. You're a beautiful lady 🤗☺ Can I ask you something. One compliment at a time take your time and think objectively... is it true. Look inside yourself and don't allow your negative self image to interfere. You matter very much to us and we're certainly not talking through a hole in our heads, well we are but you know what I mean eh 😊

I love that you speak from your heart floss. You are so welcome. Always by your side. That super glue 🤝 works a treat.

Thank you in your hard times finding time for me dear kind caring 💑 means the world 🦄 lady. You put light in peoples lives. Doesn't sound like someone that's not worthy of self love to me.

What a lovely friend you have in Lee wanting to drive and be with you, I'm sure you'd love that.

Grandy you mean so much to me and the other beautifuls here so please continue to pull up that strength you have in abundance and surfacing, each time we get that bit stronger and know we can do it again when we need to. As our lovely magic says we are Warriors!

Btw absolutely loving our pyjama party with all our awesome times (symbols) on yours. Grandy you da bomb 🤗 love you so much precious lady 😚

When I'm better I'll do somesing special for you gorgeous.

Been working several decades on a sleep potion which I popped just quarter of a drop (yip try that one) in your tea I just clicked my fingers and voila nice and strong for you. Oh so you wanna know the ingredients...ok...well... ok tell ya later 😆

Deep love dear friend 💑💜 Thanks for being so awesome and caring 👼😚🚜💼 no idea how you fit vroom vroom into your bag.

Night loves. Peaceful restful sleeps.

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Grandy,

I just wanted to say hello and let you know I'm thinking of you 🤔👼🤗.

It's raining and stormy here today so Iszy and I are still in bed watching the rain ⛆☈😻.

I do hope you are ok hon. Sending you happy and peaceful thoughts beautiful.

Lee 🤗🤗😍😍❤❤

[Ggrand]

Hello lovely Lee,

Thank you for your encouraging words of love and care, and of thinking about me when I was so down.

Oh that would be so nice if we could meet and you could drive up to mine and give ma the biggest hug.....I don’t have anyone here to give me a hug and I really believe that hugging helps us a lot in our recovery...

I can’t help but feel I’m responsible for the continuation of the abuse from my older brother, I could have gone to the police or even I think a school teacher to report, but fear and shame stopped me.....

The candle was beautiful and that night I slept on the lounge and did light a candle, and thought of you...

I did read through my thread and others as well, as I often do when I’m really lonely, they do help, as you have helped me to start pulling out now...

My neighbour is loud and angry, and I’m frightened of her, so I’ve kept away....Her sons have been here this past couple of days and wow she yells at them so much telling them what to do.....I have kept my dogs inside until they leave, hopefully today....

The houses here are not as close as the metro areas but they are still close enough to hear her talk.

Again lee thank you for you Kindness, love and care, you are another beautiful person here that I’m honoured to be be able to call my friend..

im sorry but my head is still very foggy and words are so hard tomputvtogethervto make much sense, I’m noting them and editing them a heap of times...but I feel I’ve left it too long with replies..

please take good care of you, and will talk to you on your thread soon.

Much love and many hugs....

Grandy...

[Lee lee 73]

You're so thoughtful Grandy. Thank you for being YOU!

You take good care... and lots of self care 😊.

(I think both our posts landed at the same time 😊).

..Wishing a beautiful day to you all 🌞😚

Lee xx