Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello Grandy and demonblaster,

Your friendship between each other makes smile.

Wishing happy peaceful and smiley thoughts to you both. ..and everyone else reading.

💜❤🌹🐶🐶🐺💪🤗

Lee

[Guest8901]

Dearest Grandy,

I continue to 👀 and👂and remain concerned for you. This will be brief however.

Sorry to read you did not meet with your mhn this week. I thought you liked her, and thought her supportive?

Just running some ideas thru my head here. Any chance of changing your current GP? Keep your psychiatrist, and see psychologist in next town?

And have you looked at possibility of selling your house, as shelley anne suggested, and moving closer to you kids and grandkids? Not sure of your circumstances but rent assistance could be relevant.

I so hope your fall off the ladder does not result in any major or ling term injury. Understand your worry with the manhole cover being disturbed. I would be too. Any possums in your ceiling?

I must go. Sorry if this disjointed or makes little sense. Care heaps.

💕🍀🌺

Amanda

[Ggrand]

Hello Dearest Amanda,

Oh it’s soo good to hear from you..I have been very concerned about you and your safety..I was going to post at yours again today but decided not to, I have been in trouble for over posting when people dissapear from the forums so I try to hold off posting until someone has posted..

My mhn Yes your right I do like her a lot...but I cannot choose sides...if it has to be one or the other.. then it has to be none...because changing my gp is not an option, it’s a small town only a handful of gps and one won’t take over another’s patient...

My house, sweetheart about 13 posts up I have answered that question, if it’s okay for you to just read back...sorry.

Im certain that I haven’t given myself any long term health issues, I’m fine, and should be okay in a few days......No.. no possums around my area,..Reasons I’m scared, but can’t talk about atm,😥..I was not thinking about anything else except shutting the man hole, I was shaking so much that I just lost my grip and I really don’t know what happened but I think I just kind fell of the ladder...

I hope you sleep well Dear Amanda and if possible..no pressure..please an update so we know your okay and safe would be soo reassuring for us..especially me..

Much love, big squishy hugs and peace 💜💜🤗🤗🕊🕊🕊...

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy (and a wave to all you friends here),

A gentle hug from me...while I don’t like the sound of your sore back, I’m glad the walking stick is aiding your movement.

It does sound like you’re feeling overwhelmed with your mental health team at the moment. Sighs, I feel sad that they don’t seem to be listening to you...

I’m happy to hear that the birds are keeping you company. They seem to bring you comfort and the bird calls must be majestic...

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

P.S. Special wave to Amanda xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy Lee, Mandy and Everyone,

Deebi, I try hard to turn my thoughts around, one thing is that when something triggers me, I go down that quickly and don’t know what’s happened until it’s to late think about changing my thoughts..Psych said C-PTSD does this to me...I think in a way it was good that I fell down the ladder because I could have gone down with the man hole...but my thoughts were directed to my ouchy....I walked out front today and sat for a while..I will be running a marathon in no time at all....😁😉..

Thank you very much for the cinnamon cake,,looove that cinnamon so much...yummy.....oh honey, oh no. Not again..I’ll fix that elevator again..I’m thinking of changing to folding up escalators....much easier....but I’m pleased you parachuted down and got some 😁😁 fairy floss purple 😋... Love you very much Deebi..🦄💜🌹...Your Magic..Our lublee widdle puddy dats, were biting my ear softly last night Deebi, they loved my lavender scented pillow...

My black jelly bean i got so tired of chewing it, I decided I would try to plant it and see what happens, if it grows a little I’ll bring to you so you can replant next to weetbix 🌲...😁😁😂🤣...

Peppy....... Thank you for your gentle care and concern...I will be okay in a day or two...The birdfeeder is on my front veranda and I can see it from my bed..I like the little tiny wagtails, sparrows, finches, they are so cute...They always seem happy to me because they are always chatting to each other with their cute whistle talk.. I have another bird feeder I hang on a crepe Mertle tree out near my front fence, the bigger birds and cockatoos eat from that one...

A special hello to lovely Lee...🤗😚..💜..

Big Love and heaps of hugs 🤗💜💜🤗🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🦄👼🕊..

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy,

Grandy, I hope you don't mind me pointing this out, but what a week you've had. You played darts and sat on your verandah. Yes, you had a fall but as you said it was the circumstances leading up to it that was the cause. As well as dealing with your mh team.

This doesn't mean that you have to continue doing these things- not at all. Just use it to reflect back on to as positive moments , the next time you have doubts. A Reminder to your beautiful self,that you did do it and can.

Again lovely Grandy , I hope you don't mind me pointing this out. I sometimes get frustrated when it's pointed out to me....I'm like yeah...whatever. ....but later on I'm glad it was.

Thinking of you often beautiful lady. I hope you sleep well xx xx

Lee xxxxxxx

[Ggrand]

Hello Lee,

Thank you Lee, no I don’t mind at all you pointing some things out to me...I appreciate your love and care very much ..I hope today is a good day for you Lee, please take good care of you....

Grandy....xx

[startingnew]

Hello little angel,

i dont have much to add to what others have said so instead ill just sit here quietly with you under this beautiful tree surrounded by lots of flowers, butterflies and bird.

Hugs xoxox

[Lee lee 73]

Hello lovely Grandy and startingnew,

Startingnew, your post was spoken with so much grace and wisdom 💜

Grandy, I just wanted to wish you a peaceful nights sleep my dear friend. 😴😴😴👭🐶🐶🐺😘.

....and everyone else too 💜

Warmest hugs Grandy 🤗🤗

Lee

[demonblaster]

Hi precious and everyone 🙂

Grandy good on you seeing a positive in your fall. That's the way lovey and yes that would work as a distraction. So happy you did the veranda again 🙂 you're strong hun I know you don't see it but we do. Would have been nice out there I imagine.
Happy you've got your widdle birdies chat chatting away, they're very happy sounding aren't they. The finches and wagtails are so petite. Crepe Myrtles are a pretty tree, your fave colour.

How's the physical pain going darl. Really hope your bursitis hasn't flared up and that your backs settled. You go marathon lady. We'll be here right by your side cheering you all the way.

If you are up to talking about how you're feeling either here or mine I'm easy either way lovey. Always want to be here for you as you are me Angel light.

You're welcome for the cinnamon cake, hope you didn't mind the choccy icing 😄 on top between and the bottom. Can never be to sure if there's enough you know. Cinnamon really is lovely isn't it.

LOL folding escalator stairs, now that's thinking.
Ohhh our lublee bubby puddy tats gently bit your ears 🙂 oh aren't they cute... btw Leelee just try and change that avitar my girl 🙂 and yes on the PC too there's not the option for emojis and your welcome btw. Sorry keep forgetting to reply. Thanks too saying about our friendship, how easy is she to love.

Yip so long we can chew on the Black jellybeans, haha maybe Weetbix tree will grow some of them too.. predominantly Black, White and Green, any requests

Going to try to sleep earlier tonight darl, still very tired but moods picking up finally. Phew.

Love you sweety lady very much. Hope you're nice and warm and cosy with your gorgeous loving fur buddies and did you notice I'm sitting in the chair, I figure it's time I look after my/our dear Grandy.

Like some more cheese on toast or I could go all out and give you some Weetbix tonight, I know spoiling you but you're so good to me so it's my turn to look after you.
You mean the world Grandy (( xx ))

Tucking you into beddy byes. Destiny and Eternity said to tell you they love you too xx