Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Tess2]

Hi Grandy,

i have been thinking about you and you seem to be ok, in spite of some set backs etc. you actually sound confident. Don’t worry about the video games, they challenge lots of intellectual and motor skills . Just have breaks as demonblaster has suggested. Being occupied is important.

i would encourage you to have that shower and wash the hair, that will make you feel a lot more comfortable with yourself.

how are your doggies? I bathed mine last week and took their beds to the laundromat. So they were all sweet and clean. But they are all getting old poor things.

it is miserable here in WA we had bad storms yesterday and overnight. It gets me down. And now I feel very anxious , very anxious indeed.

I also need to go to the dentist, and they have just opened up again here so maybe I shall get onto that. I don’t want me teeth to fall out on top of everything else.

do kind and gentle things for yourself and don’t put high expectations out their, small achievements are fine

love tess

[demonblaster]

Hey there gorgeous 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone ☺

How's today going for you I wonder dear friend 🤗
Always do, just thinking of you a bit more often.
I hope you got some better sleep assuming you've had poor batches

Sweets I've had those thoughts at times too and they really are awful.
I think they're when we're hyper vigilant.

Great post from Doolsy as always yes it seems to be the go to allow the thought. By then allowing others like that's my anxiety talking it won't happen etc
Hard isn't it. Ahh darlin friend 🤗luckily they fade away until another time.

You can handle it Grandz cause when negatives were coming in before I'm guessing in your mania it was your mind showing and teaching you how to handle it. It's amazing. It's ok to give yourself plenty of time to learn and habit it. You're imo starting to heal sweetheart. Looks like the good parts are helping. Cool

I really hope today was ok for you lovey and you had a beautiful cuddle with puddy tat. I'll be keen to hear a name you give it honey 🕊

Darling seriously I know how it is to be how you're feeling please don't feel you need to reply to my posts I just want you to focus on holding and getting through.

Just great knowing how you're going. That's not pressure it's that we occasionally have a day off but mostly daily are in touch 🤝
Don't forget our emoji chart if you need huns ⚘

I'll leave you with some oh so gorgeous hugs from Destiny and Eternity 🐩🐕 and of course myself beautiful.

You're a very strong incredibly beautiful person Grandy.
Beasties clueless tell [ IT ] xx to go and play with the cars.

Deep love and gratitide to have such an awesome bbff and people here 💗

🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝🕊🐩🐕✨🦋⚘

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Mrs Dools 🌷..and everyone...🤗..

I went to Meditation today...S decided to pick me up even though I told her I wasn’t feeling the best with my thoughts..S said it’s okay if I don’t go..but now is the best time to go....Couldn’t be bothered debating her..so I went..

I’m okay, but hard with words right now..Yes Deebi..coming down..I hate my mh, BP, PTSD...and what ever else my brain has decided to let inside it...

Thank you Deeb👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, Mrs Dools🌷, Tess and everyone else...for being here for me...I’m so lucky to know you all..

Love you Deebi....I could never ever have a better bbff then what you are to me...👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🦋💙...🧸🤗.

You’re all very special friends to me.... my love, care and hugs.💜🦋🤗..

Will talk more tomorrow...if it’s okay..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🕊🌱.

[Ggrand]

Hi everyone...

Life can bring us so many downs, then some beautiful people come along and show their love, kindness, care, compassionate and support..and it helps me to feel not so alone....

Hellen Keller wrote this quote...

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart”...

You have all touched my heart many many times ...you’re all beautiful people....Thank you 🕊💚

Grandy.

[demonblaster]

Hi my/our gorgeous Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩🤗 and hugs to all lovelies out there if you want them free of charge for 1 hr only 😊

Grandy love you have all the hugs you like free...well for 2 hrs anyway because of bbff rates. You know how it is in business 😚

So while I'm giving you a magic soul hug I'm talking gently to you saying ... I hope last night gave you some mind and body nourishing sleep precious lady to slowly build up again. You're in the hell hard part atm remember honey it's temporary and is the beginning of recovery sweetyheart.
Normal times ahead hun ☺⚘

I know you weren't up to it mentally.
As hard as it is as you know some of my deepest Blacks I've had some temporary reprieve from constant nag going out.
I'm really pleased you didn't resist and went. Boom to you Grandz you won that round against beasty... woot (Wolfy)🎈🎉

It's something that you previously enjoyed and certainly a great way to learn how to gain control and escape to beautiful places and find peace.
Along the lines of fantasy.
I'm so glad you're doing it and being around some new people as well as familiars. I know lovey how hard that'd be too.

I feel being part of a religion there's a good chance people there are a little calmer and welcoming.
S is my hero she's got your back beautiful.
Please give her from Aunty Deebi this award of appreciation and excellence in her work that she does from her heart 🥇wrapoed inside a 💗

Grandy Floss thank you for your beautiful heart warming comment about our friendship. I feel the same. Beautiful friendships like these are what it's all about.

The reason people touch your heart is because you do same magic lady 😚

About time the scales start tipping your way. Honestly you're SO deserving Golden bbff 💛 (closest to Gold)

Love you heaps darling lady. You sound like you're doing incredibly well in bloody hard times. You/we're getting there sweets ✊ power to us!

When/if you're up to I thought we and anyone else is welcome to join in to draw something together like maybe that gorgeous big gum tree out the front and later we could put some cows around it, flowers, stars and each day we could work on it.

If there's darkness

If we look around

Till we find some light

In memories dreams hopes and pleasure

No matter how small

It frees us for moments of peace

🕊

👩‍❤️‍👩💜😍🗯🤝🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩. .and everyone...🤗..

The meditation was nice and was about Earth, Air, water, fire, space...I found interest in how each of the 5 elements can have an impact on our healing mentally...and my mind was listening to the teachers words, trying to take them in rather then visualising them into meditation....

My GP.. phoned today unexpected as she was ahead of time and had some free time....She wanted my okay for her put an application in to get me into the “victims help services” .with a professional psychologist specialising in PTSD from sexual, emotional and physical abuse...she is waiting now, to see if I am eligible for their services...

Mrs Dools..I agree that those thoughts are unstoppable, will always be popping up from time to time..finding a way to quieten them gets harder, the deeper I sucked into my mind..I think it’s an ongoing forever learning, we have to go through each day..and it’s tiring...it really is!..

Today was a crappy day..it’s nearly over..and all I’ve done is play games or sleep...oh and talk to my GP...Nothing to show for it again...Tomorrow is another day..I have been telling myself all day that tomorrow will be better, and that I will go outside and attempt to draw the tree with you Deebi...and who ever else draws it..

Friendships are beautiful things to have..Love you bbff..💜🧸🤗..

Sending My Love..care..and hugs to everyone..💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🦄👼..

[quirkywords]

Grand

I find days when it looks I have done little except eat, rest, walk or email they really help me to recharge. So those days hopefully will make you feel better even in a small way.

We feel unless we are doing we have not achieved much, sometime being is enough.

Your posts reach out and help so many , remember that.

[Ggrand]

Hello Quirky...Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and all...🤗.

Quirky, this isn’t just the odd day I’m doing nothing..it’s been going on for many many months...with the odd day/s I manage to mow the lawn...or clean my house...I have been and still am lost and confused as to what I’m supposed and to do daily...except Tuesdays at my volunteer job..

There is a meeting on the 9th of June to find out the opening date..I’m not included in the meeting, for some reason....Betty will let me know the dates...

I went to town today for meds and some shopping..and the shops were so busy..I prefer when it was quieter in isolation...After shopping I drove to the back of the town’s park and sat on a bench and watched some ducks and duckling swimming and playing in the little river for about an hour...Ducks walk funny yet cute..the duckling were so tiny and followed the bigger ducks everywhere...Wonder if the game “follow the leader” was from someone watching some ducks and duckling and got their inspiration from them..

I psyched myself up last night to have a go at drawing my gum tree...I think the psyched up part of my brain stayed asleep..😁... Tomorrow is another day...and I doubt the tree will grow legs and run away...Now that would be something to see..a walking tree 😂😂...

Today was a better day then yesterday...Sitting in the sun and watching animals in their natural surroundings can be soul soothing...

Love your little poem Deebi... It’s a beautiful reminder of how we should try to be grounding ourselves...thank you very much..bbff...Deep love always Deebi...💭..🧸🤗💜🕊

I hope that everyone listening here is feeling good..sending you love, care and hugs..💜🦋🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy....🕊🌱....🌹🧸🦄👼🌹

[demonblaster]

Hi everyone ☺

Hey my bbff 🤗 I dearly hope todays given you even some slithers of lights enough to hold onto sweetylove 😊

Grandz in mania it's quite easy to find the positives happy memories & wants amidst the mixed episodes taking us on a tiki tour of emotions.
Total opposite on the other side.

Yrs ago dear Doolsy actually quite a lot of things she said & several others here including you lovely 🦄 writing down a list of good things which can include piccys and physical objects.

I think in your journal you have in the past.
I'm unsure if you've updated which is ok if not sweets ☺

Maybe when you pull out of this beast we could also do that together. Actually better to try while [IT's] ⚘here.
Anyone of course is welcome to join in ☺

She also said if we can catch the downs before they go deeper. Bang on!
We can from there but harder.

So thoughts trigger our good feelings too.
Shame we all know how hard or seemingly impossible for any change.

The effort needed to think outside the pain generally keeps us there

So what if we habit what manias teaching us that's how to deal with memories triggers mind downs.

We could twice daily say in the morning with brekky read it and before bed.
Through the days think of anything good.
The theory is it'll be easier to do in downs. I've been having success today with.

Btw I keep forgetting to say how elated I was to hear you say two goods about yourself recently

1. You like that you're caring and compassionate. Absolutely hun!
2. "Yay to me I've been dealing with the negatives" ? Mania. Cause our mind opens to further thought closes in depression.

We'd be gently teaching it to think further.

Oh So glad you enjoyed the meditation hun it sounds really interesting. I like that you're easing into it. Going at your own pace is smart 🍫

Wow at last you're getting the help you need.
How do you feel about that lovey.

I was going to say same as our lovely Quirky that being is enough.
You did do something. You played games 👍
Hard as to do anything at all in the darks. Well done I say

You dear love do you feel you have to do things to validate a reason for being here honey?
If so you don't need to. Again as Quirky said you give tremendous support and kindness to so many here and rl.

Your life experiences have given you untold compassion kindness love & wisdom

You matter. You're needed and loved by many 💜💗

👩‍❤️‍👩👀🤝🦄🌱🍫😚🤗

[demonblaster]

Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 and everyone hi ☺

Hi there sweetyheart.

Honestly don't worry hun about replying to my posts ok ☺ Just want you to get through darlin

I dearly hope you're getting the rest you need beautiful. It's so damned hard isn't it. Sleep beautiful as much as you need to get back

A reminder darlin what we've worked out to not let our reactions to thoughts take us down. Which at this points turbo so maybe better to at least not accept our first reaction to them for now

I'm finding atm I'm hearing the thought which we pretty much have no choice of. Then yip it happened, I know. Then dismissing it to not go further down. Thinking of anything else. Not quite coming to terms with the pain but it's effective because I'm not hurting as deeply or long lately. I hope this can help you honey 🤗

Easier said than done for sure. The more we do it becomes automatic in the long run I'd think.

Grandy we'll get there cause we're all never letting go of eachother 🤝 and us precious 🤗 we're lifers and beyond bbffs. That never changes it just continues to grow 💜

I meant to say yesterday to please try hard to be kind gentle and considerate to yourself like you do everyone else precious.

Everytime you post you give someone your time care love kindness wisdom support and humour my love including good conversation knowledge and intelligence. You research often to try and help. All of this true. You help so many Grandy.

Quirky and I and I'm sure others would have thought the same.

You are productive Grandy love you make a positive difference to so many. Is why you're so easy to love 💜

If nothing else sweetyheart keep telling yourself you'll get through. This will pass.

Best love care warmth and security in these loving 🤗 dear bbff.

PubAok yAdimh sss gg lysvm always ☺🙃🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜🍫😚💗