Alone..Depressed..Sad..

[Ggrand]

Hi..I'm new here..just need to put my feeling down..no one to talk to makes depression and anxiety so hard...the last 4 days I have either been in bed crying or on the lounge crying..I can't seem to get out of this...I am becoming a prisioner in my own home as its getting progressively difficult to go out.. I have to go out Tuesdays so I do everthing on that day but it's like I'm holding my breathe all day until I get back to the safety of my home then I can let go and that starts the cycle again of spending the next 6 days at home either in bed or on the lounge sad and depressed...I really feel like just giving up.. My husband passed away 4 years on This coming Thursday. My children live 6 hours drive away and have small children so I don't see them that much.Bad mum and grandmum I am on there last visit i was pleased to see them but I just wanted them to go home. I feel so aweful and numb atm..

[Speak Your Truth]

Hi Grandy - I’m thinking about you and your last post to me. What a bind you’re in.

When you go out tomorrow to buy that book and go to your op shop too could you try this ? Give them one of your best 😃

😀SMILING IS INFECTIOUS😀

😃Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu,😃

😄When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling too.😄

😁I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin.😁

😆When he smiled I realized I'd passed it on to him.😆

🙂I thought about that smile, then I realized its worth.🙂

😀A single smile, just like mine could travel round the earth.😀

😃So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected.😃

😄Let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!😄

😀Smiling Is Infectious😀

lots love 💕💗💖❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 and a biiiig hug 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Grandy

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy and all 🙂

Thanks hun ok so far mostly, beasties trying but not winning.
I've caught up but will have to read back later too

Proud of you with how you're going with bed and hoping tonights a good sleep and relieve the bursitis in time. Good you know how to manage it.

Shaking head, no darlin not all blokes are like that at all, mine wasn't probably opposite I was more the leader not in a controlling way though there was stuff that was his domain, I know no nusink (Shilz, hogans heroes) about cars and other bits. Feel for you darl. It would be so hard for you (( x ))

I like what Wolfy said too, I meant to copy it straight away on tablet but have now. Onya Wolfy 🙂 here's so good with so much info we all can learn from.

Grandy hearing you talk about your crochet and sewing etc that's so sad, I'll get back to you I hope about some other ideas , I thought I could get back into tatting. There's tatting cotton, really fine but I use crochet cotton. but I'm not sure what 2 coloured threads to use had a bit of a look but I'll figure something out. Haven't tried with two yet.
For yrs I've thought about how to make money making and selling and with my art moreso and amazing in mania all the ideas so it's now down to doing but even if I don't sell them at least keeping busy in a good way. Art I'm paranoid about the Black market that'll get it anyway if it goes where I believe it can but I'd rather die knowing that not knowing if it'll work. Looked into many options over the yrs. The ideas I had could be a good little money spinner but cost to get started but other options too and I'll just have to cop it sweet I guess. Looked a bit into copyright not that that stops them. I couldn't believe the coincidence when ? suggested to you with your craft cause I'd just been thinking same, also might try markets and round up others with craft stuff to chip in for spot to sell (brain fog) not much but $ and on the net. Bit scared to door to door now days but will consider all options.

Truth hey 🙂 seen those smiley around, great isn't it and so true. They've found they have endorphine affect and I don't doubt it. I'm a smiler and it does give a buzz.

I like a lot what Peppy said ((Hi lovey)) about finding you and no rush is the way to go isn't it.

Nigh night darlin love you xx sleep well, you don't get much poor thing.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy (and all),

I’m happy you have been doing some baking because you said that you enjoy baking cakes 🙂 Your colleagues are in for a delicious treat today. Lucky them!

You’re planning to mow the lawn this week so I feel that’s a good start. I know it’s hard to run errands and complete household chores when motivation is low so I feel for you...

Sending love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy, Cala,

Cala.....Thank you for the beautiful Poem Cala, I appreciated it and read it a few times....you really have a talent...Ummm, I do smile when I talk to the customers if I'm out front of the shop..

Peppy.......I took the cake in to work today, we had for Morning and afternoon tea, the other ladies thanked me and said it was yummy...that made me embarrassed...I have thought about what you said Peppy about finding me and there is no hurry..I agree...motivation yeah..I need to find some soon...

Deebi......Please honey keep shooing that beasty away..Don't let it get you..your stronger then you think...

Tatting, I've seen it done, so hard to do tatting, such fine, beautiful and delicate Lacey work, well done for being able to do that.😁....Deebi, what kind of art do you do? I think you would be good at any thing you do, is it like drawings, or painting scenery, or other? Sorry if I'm 👃 nosey....We have crappy markets here, just half dozen same stalls each month, I'm useless at art, I can draw a stick figure that looks like a tree with no leaves 🍃 on it..😂..

Thank you for being proud of me about bed..but not last night, I went to bed at 11pm woke at 1.40am, got out of their quickly and couldn't get back to sleep, so done what Tim said to do, but still couldn't get back to sleep, so very tired at the moment, will sleep soon...

Work was okay today. There was only 3 of us in..Two out front and me out back...I had the day to myself, I do go into the shop through out the day to hang different clothes out and take some of the older stock out back...and collect the cloth hangers who are no empty on the racks..

I hope you all have an okay type of night,

Kind thoughts and caring hugs..🤗🤗🤗💜..Everyone,

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜🤗..I hope your okay my special friend...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....xx

[Speak Your Truth]

😂🤣😂 Grandy I had to laugh. I did not write the 😁Smiling😀 poem - I copied it off the internet but I didn’t include that it said the author was ‘unknown’. I have absolutely no talent for writing any kind of poetry, even fun stuff like that. Thinking of me writing poetry makes me laugh 🤣

I’m so glad you took your cake 🍰 into work and shared it with the ladies Grandy. All of your friends here on the forum would have loved it and sharing it with you too I know. What flavour was it ? Chocolate perhaps ?

I started to feel not very well yesterday and this morning I woke up with a very sore throat so I’ve been sleeping and lying around a lot to rest and I think it’s working. I feel better than I did.

I’m sorry you didn’t sleep much last night Grandy - it must be very frustrating for you as well. I hope tonight is better for you 😴🛌💤

I’ve been meaning to ask you - do you prefer to be called a Grandy or Karen ?

Bye for now, I hope the sun shines 🔆 for you tomorrow, Cala ❤️⭕️❌

[Tess2]

Take care of yourself Grandy, try to sleep in the bed, well you will probably be in bed now as I am a couple of hours behind you.

Cake sounds lovely, I bet you make great cakes.

Be gentle to yourself

tess

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy and everyone

Thanks re tatting it is lovely Mum was very good I have a few doilleys and flower framed arrangements. I haven't tried doilleys yet.Just smaller stuff and door to doored with them and cards I made. Art apparently its similar to tribal somes slightly different.

☺ 🍃

Bad news not sleeping it really knocks us about doesnt it. Have you tried hot milk drinks before bed. Heard bussing other day theres something natural apparently good but can't name it here. Natural can interact with meds. Hope you get some tonight poor thing.

Grandy it sounds like a desert where you live it's got zilcho for services and shopping centres etc. But ya got the stars and quiet.

Agree a lot more $ needs to go into MH it affects so many

Someone might have suggested maybe you could sell cakes at a stall. Food and snacks usually are a go

The bloke hasn't landed there yet by the sounds. Nice you took in a cake and they liked it. I know it's awful feeling embarrassed ya sweet but you did something well and people liked it like at the shop too. I was so self conscious and low self esteem but still pretty out there as a teen someone could say boo and I'd go from red to scarlet then people would say look how Red she's going so next shade. Horrid. But I'd chat and stuff wasn't shy so I get being embarrassed.

Yeah/nah Grandy. Sick of this rot but in mania I thought lets say 2 thirds is usually either happy or ecstatic trouble as you know most of the downs make that insignificant.

Leaving on a good note 🎵

Nite darl 💜🤗 piccy of us. How tired we are😩

[Peppermintbach]

Hi Grandy and all,

I think it was lovely of you to share your cake with the peopls at work yesterday. They must have enjoyed it judging from their compliments.

But I understand that accepting their gratitude and compliments must have been a struggle...maybe just take it one step at a time. Perhaps if you continue bringing cakes in (only if you want to), over time, you will slowly get used to hearing compliments and you’ll hopefully start to feel a less embarrassed when you hear them...

I’m glad work seems to have been okay yesterday. I know you tend to feel more comfortable working alone in the back of the shop (if I remember correctly). So yesterday’s arrangement probably worked out for you 🙂

Not having enough sleep must be hard. To your credit though, you’re trying your best to sleep so I feel there’s victory in the effort. Hopefully you will get more sleep tonight...

Love and care,

Peppy xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Cala, Tess, Deebi,

Oh Cala Its so good that you had a good laugh 😂, its does us good to laugh😂😂...but I think you're putting yourself down a little, I'm certain that you could write a poem if you wanted to, how about giving it a try?...🕊

The ladies enjoyed the cake, and I told them if they wanted to to divide it up and talked it home, or leave for tomorrow's crew, as one works today again....Wouldn't it be really good if we all could meet for a coffee and cake one day..🎂☕️..

Im sorry you woke to a sore throat, I hope it's not the glue or what I had...Geez I've still got sore glands, but I think more lymp nodes then glands...I will find out next Tuesday If to do with thyroid or not...

Cala, I really prefer Grandy, it is a nik name some one very special here started to call me, Karen is ok as well. I don't that as well, it's what you're more comfortable with...

Tess...It's always a pleasure to see you at mine...I'm starting to get back into bed, a trigger has kept me out of my bed now for nearly a month, but I'm slowly working my way back into it.. I hope things are beginning to work out for you..I'll pop over yours today...

Please both of you and everyone enjoy your today today as best as you can,,❤️🌹🤗..

Grandy...

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi, Peppy,

Thank you both for Kind and caring posts.

Peppy.....I like making cakes and I can put my own little touches to the icing etc..They enjoyed it that's all good...

Yesterday I was comfortable because only me out back, no one to say to iron this, or wash up the tea things or make a cuppa, or wash up the donated glass, crockery,etc that comes in. But ha ha I love washing up, I learned to me very mindful when I wash up. Feeling the hot water on my hands, is relaxing..I done what I needed to do, geez, what more can I do...

Deebi....I watched a YouTube vid on tatting, isn't it really hard, but the things that are possible to make are beautiful...

I agree that not sleeping, does make our mh harmed to manage, especially the emotional side of it..but I'm okay,..I have asked the chemist and there is a couple of natural products that are there but no I can't take with my ADs...

Its terrible out here, my hubby wanted acres only place was way out here! away from everyone he knew, geez Deebi..Why wasn't I..oh it's okay...

Im not sure but I think you have to have like a type of insurance if you make cakes at home and sell them at markets etc.. for allergic reactions etc...

The red face, Yes, I still go red at times. I felt my face going red yesterday so I disappeared outside for a while... something that we can't control unfortunately is our red faces..😊 I have always been a introvert person, still am...and I wish I wasn't.

No Deebi, he still hasn't turned up, I think he is still going through all the police check, working with children check etc..maybe he hasn't passed them..time will tell I suppose..

Oh sweetheart, I know what your saying about mania. It's great but then I think was it worth that short time that I'm so clear, happy, ecstatic, able to do things then, bam weeks to pay for such a short time of goods..

My dad used to give me hot milk with rum in it, to make me sleep, He must have started to do so when I was very young, Oh it used to be horrible to drink and the smell even worse,.No I don't think I could have hot milk by itself, but maybe a hot chocolate made with milk might work..

I hope your days good Deebi, and your appointment goes good as well. Take good care of you Deebi...Love you very much..💜🌹..

Love and caring hugs..xx

Grandy...xxx