Adopted son of 37 years just contacted me..I'm so scared as what to do.

[Ggrand]

Hi I have another thread but unrelated to this.

37 years ago my husband and young son (2tears old). was living in our car for around 8 months.I was pregnant at the time. My parents disowned me when I eloped with my husband. My husbands parents were strange and we never told them we were living in the car.

I gave birth to my second son while we were living in the car. My hubby contacted his father and his Godmother who both talked us into putting our baby into foster care for a few months until we got organized, as we couldn't have a baby living in the car. After I got out of hospital my father in law told us to stay with him. Then a woman from child services came to see us and said it best to adopt our baby out.I didn't want to but I had to or we were back in the car living and would loose our baby and possibly our other young son . because father in law said it was the only way we could stay with them.

My adopted son found me and contacted me on Sunday I was to shocked to answer him back until today.contact has only been through facebook messenger. I told him i will ring him tonight around 8.30pm.

I have never told my 2 other sons about him. I don't know how to tell them.Will they hate me for doing this as I have hated myself and never forgiven myself over all these years.I have thought about him over the years especially on his birthdays. I am so very scared. Hubby died 4 years ago so I have to do this on my own.

Hubby and I decided we would never try to find him as we didn't want to upset his life..I am a complete mess as what to do..Please can someone help me.

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Ggrand,

Im a birth mum too.

First of all, just remember that however you feel is most likely mirrored in how he feels. Nervous, scared, curious etc.

Secondly, everything that you have done is out of love and love is not something you should have to feel guilty about.

I kept my daughters existence a secret from some of my family for a long time because I didn’t want to hear their judgement about the situation. When I did eventually tell them it was when I stopped caring what they thought.

Dont stop yourself having a relationship with a nice man as your son sounds like he is. But equally, don’t be ashamed to tell him the truth.

As a mother, you know what feels right and wrong about whether you should tell your other children, but as someone who has revealed a similar secret to several people, the good ones take it well... and your sons sound good.

The one thing I found through everything was that I spent so much time worrying about everyone else’s feelings that I ended up neglecting my own. If you need to cry, cry. If you need some support from your sons, ask for it.

you have done your best for 3 children, make sure you do your best for you too.

[Ggrand]

Hello Chicken wings,

Thank you for your visit. and your kind reassuring words,

It has been a long hard journey that was handed to me so unexpected.

With the caring help of Tony, Quirky and others I got through most of it. They are amazing people.

My eldest son has cut all contact with me since I told him and I'm not okay with that, but at the moment I'm tired. What I miss is him but also his children my grandchildren (5 of them) so much, it's a constant ache that I feel won't heal until I can sort this out with him. But I am just to tired for this atm, I need to try to fix me up first, then I'll tackle this again.

Can I ask you, did you and your daughter find each other?

Kind thoughts

Karen.

[Chicken_Wings]

Job Ggrand,

I’m pleased to say we have a wonderful relationship 🙂

Were incredibly similar. She can be shy to ask me some of the harder questions, but we find our way.

[Ggrand]

Hello Chicken Wings,

I am extremely happy for you.

Than

ts so nice to hear, I hope you both go from strength to strength.

kindest thoughts

Karen

[white knight]

Hi Karen,

By chance I've dropped in. Yes, have been having my first break in nearly 4 years. I haven't been 100% but nothing to be concerned about, just over worked the forum and wasn't my normal self.

I'm ok though. Just needed to have a break. Likely wont be back until middle of next week.

Your eldest will come round. Let him soak in all the changes he has to adjust to. He'll join up with his other brothers, they'll chat etc and he'll see the light. Just keep sending the birthday cards and a few special words.

All my care Tony WK

[Ggrand]

Hi Tony,

Thank you for letting me know you are alright, I really hope your break will be peaceful, but enjoyable, and rejuvenating.

Stit under a tree through the day,

sit under the stars at night.

I hope that you will get back to 100%. Take time to heal yourself, and remeber to Be Kind To Yourself and Look after Yourself...🦋❤️.

Love

Karen.

[quirkywords]

Karen,

Tony is having a well deserved break , all is well.

It is lovely you are concerned about others.

How are you going.

Quirky

[Ggrand]

Hello Quirky,

Thank you,

I am doing ok, I was just a bit concerned as I didn't see Tony posting anywhere, my anxiety gets the better of me when I think someone is unwell. Especially people I have learnt to love and care about.

kindness only

Karen.

[Ggrand]

Hi Tony,

This is the only thread I know to contact you,

Just a little post to say, Hello I hope you are feeling better.

sending my care and love to you.

Enjoy your rest, and please give roudolf a carrot and brush down for me. and be kind and thoughtful to yourself.

Kindness only,

Karen.

[Ggrand]

WhiteKnight is taking a well deserved rest,

I hope he's resting and trying his best,

Leo Rojas, spirit of the hawk, will put your mind at rest.

Maharji, with his peaceful, and glorious sunset,

On your eagle, with sunset, you'll fly high above,

For your hearts full of gold, and you souls full of love.

for the kindness and gentleness, that you bring,

you must be wrapped up in eagles wings.

Rodulf, will be prancing around the threads,

while Tony gives him caring pats on his head.

Rodulf, with Tony who's our WhiteKnight,

will ride through the dark and bring us insight,

will take away some darkness and bring in the light.

There is no one quite like Tony, our WhiteKnight

WhiteKnight is a legend, a Beyond Blue Champ,

He carries with him always the compassionate lamp..

Karen.