Why do I feel guilty?

[blueskies18]

Hello all,

My father passed away last year and he was an alcoholic, which was a major factor that caused his death. I drink socially and have never had any problems in the way of addiction or being irresponsible. Since my father's passing, I have chosen not to drink as much when I'm out but on some occasions where I have had a couple (as we all do), these feelings of guilt present. I get quite upset with myself and I feel bad that I'm drinking and that I have let myself go beyond my limits. I don't know whether it's because I don't want to end up making the mistakes my dad did or because I know that alcohol was part of the reason he died. I know I shouldn't let his mistakes affect my life but in the back of my mind something triggers this. I didn't have much to do with my dad for a couple of years because of alcoholism and other issues that stemmed from it so it's not like I think he will be disappointed in me. The grieving process has been a roller coaster but overall I feel okay, I have moved on and accepted what has happened, I just can't seem to shake this feeling. I hope this makes sense.

Thank you for any insights you may have on this.

[Matches]

Hi blueskies18,

I’m sorry you lost your dad.

We all grieve differently; it seems like you are coping well.

When you say, ‘had a couple’, do you mean binge drinking? I’m wondering if you are experiencing anxiety about your drinking. Please check out drinkwise.org.au it contains various ways to self-assess.

Please get back to us.

Matches.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi blueskies18,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post. I'm sorry to hear about your father.

What you've said does make sense, even though it's complicated. It sounds like it's kind of a bit conflicting - in that you have these different messages going through your mind about why it's bad, leading you to feel guilty.

Maybe it might be worth seeing if you can get curious about these messages and where they're coming from. What does the part of you that feels guilty want? For you to only have one or two drinks, not drink at all..?

The other thing that might be worth thinking about is other emotions that come up. Guilt is often rarely on its own. If you were to think about having a drink, what else might you be feeling? Perhaps that could be shame, worry, frustration or even grief.

I'm not sure how insightful this is but hopefully it gives you something to think about.