Sibling estrangement

[Gracieester]

My sister will often hurt me by cutting off contact with me for months at a time. When she does answer my calls she says I have done nothing, get over it and move on. I am left bewildered, sad and so miserable. I never know what has caused her to be like this toward me. Just now she has cut off contact with me for twelve months. She won't answer the phone and returned an unopened birthday present to me. Please, can anyone help me. I am 69 and my sister is seven years older. She has a husband who spends his time in another part of the house and she has no friends to speak of.

Thank you

[Sophie_M]

Hi Gracieester!
Firstly, thank you for joining our community here in the forums - We are excited to have you, and we hope you will get a lot from spending time with us. 

Hot / Cold emotional connections can be genuinely hurtful. It is difficult to tell whether your sister might be struggling with extreme social anxiety and therefore avoidance, an extreme introvert that cannot cope with a lot of attention from people, or the hundreds of possible things that could be going through her mind. You having known her much longer, your guess would be more valid than anything we could offer.

More so, what are your needs? what might allow you to be hurt but uneffected by the flux and flow of the connection? These are always hard questions - but we are very confident many of the community members will reach out soon with different viewpoints that might give yyou some insight, and the questions you could ask of yourself.

Please remember as well that we are here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636.

Please stay in touch, we are delighted ot have you!

Regards,

Sophie M.